No Quit in this Kid
I really REALLY love my children...
...but dear Lord, there are some days where I really wish I could have more than a few minutes to myself to contemplate my aloneness. As I write this, my industrious seven year old is in the kitchen, effectively having been told by both me and and her father that we just want to rest. I, for one, have been up since about five, and met with this busy bee at five minutes to six in the morning with an earnest look on her face.
"We're going to make an oobleck, Mom," she tells me.
Now, I get up early - crazy early - because for one, I've not slept well since the dawn of time, I think. The other reason is, it gives me a chance to relax with my feet up and a cup of hot coffee, playing Angry Birds and doing a crossword before I leap into marking, writing, or whatever I have on the go for any particular day. When I see this bright little bean looking at me with that spark in her eye, I know it's going to be a busy day - one that won't start with a cozy cuddle.
So, when she asked me about an oobleck - it's cornstarch mixed with water, for those who are interested - I knew I was in for it. She hasn't stopped moving through a day filled with karate, a piano recital at night, and now she's wanting more.
I don't know how to slow down this little tornado, and in looking at my oldest, who is cheerfully sprawled on the couch, watching videos on her iPad, I'm wondering how to make these two kids meet in the middle somewhere energy wise.
Regardless, I regularly admire how energized she seems to be, and wish I had one to match. I only want to slow her down so I can keep up; that's not fair, of course, because I also wish my girls to surpass me in what they'll be able to do in their lives.
With my own issues - anxiety, perfectionist tendencies, and being probably TOO driven for my own good in everything I choose to do - it's hard to remember that my kids just want to be kids and explore, the way that I did and still do in many ways. It can be frustrating, particularly as I try to explore getting established as a writer and continuing my teaching career.
There will be times where I just want to hide from the world out of my own frustration - particularly when my own husband is involved seemingly on a peripheral level most days because of his own commitments to school and getting busy on the internet - and there are times where I'm frustrated just with the ins and outs of being a parent with two active kids. It's logical that this happens, and I have to remember that as I encourage my kids along their personal paths into their future.
But for now, though, it's me, my busy and bright kids, and an oobleck.