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Stop Fighting Parents - Our kids are watching us

Updated on July 8, 2011

How long are we going to pacify ourselves by saying but for his smoking, drinking and chewing habits, my father is a great man. How long are we going to appease ourselves by saying let us not look at the character of our teacher - that is a matter of his personal life; let us just take the teachings and leave it at that. How long are we going to mollify ourselves by saying but for his weakness for women, he is a wonderful person to work with.

I am no global judge to decide what is right and what is wrong. I also know there are no universal rights and wrongs. Who am I to infringe into anybody's freedom of choice? But ask yourself the courageous question, "Will I be happy if my children take up to what I think is okay for me? Will I ever be able to say that I am proud of myself, for I pursue these habits? Are my character traits worthy of emulation? Is my life an example or a warning to the next generation - not selectively, but holistically?"

Our children are watching us all the time. They learn much more by what they see than what they hear. Moral science is never learnt from books, but by watching those who live around us. You have to show your children what to do instead of only telling them what to do. The world will follow your examples and not your advice. Freedom without responsibility is licentiousness. As much as you desire the freedom of your life, you have an equal or higher responsibility towards the next generation.

Do not fight in front of your kids.
Do not fight in front of your kids.

Stop doing what shouldn't be done and set an ideal in front of your kids

The spiritual truth is that once a master has attained silence, he has attained the object of meditation and thus no longer requires the sadhana. But the ignorant seeker would argue, "When the master does not meditate regularly, I needn't too. Why shouldn't I emulate his actions instead of following his words?" The Bhagavad Gita (Indian Holy Book) therefore reminds, "Whatever a great man does others will imitate. Whatever standards he sets, the world will follow." We got to do certain things for the sake of others, so that our actions inspire them, irrespective of our intellectual reasoning. We have a social responsibility. We have the responsibility to be a worthy role model. Do what must be done, and stop doing what shouldn't be done.

As a teacher, a boss, the pioneer in the industry, a parent, as the head of the family, one holding the government office... you, me and all of us have to live in ways that sets standards for others to follow. Think, talk, act, and live the way you want others to think, talk, act and live.

Over a period of time, the world around you tends to become carbon copies of you. Then for sure, you need to be a master-copy worth duplicating.


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