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My Fight Against Parental Alienation

Updated on July 19, 2012

Me and my Daughter in Happy Times

What is Parental Alienation?

Parental Alienation is where one parent, usually the custodial parent, influences and promotes hatred, separation, and dislike towards the other parent. This mostly happens when both parents are separated or divorced.

Examples of Parental Alienation

There are many forms of Parental Alienation, these are just a few.

#1. Negative comments by the custodial parent about the non-custodial parent.

#2. Setting up temptations for the child. An example of this would be where a parent tells the child, "I was thinking of going to the skating rink but your Mom/Dad is on their way to pick you up for the weekend." This will automatically set up resentment by the child toward the other parent.

#3. Being "honest" with your child about the divorce or separation. When a parent tells "their" side of the divorce story to the child, this can cause alienation towards the other parent.

#4. Influence from others. When people around the child have a negative influence towards the other parent this can damage the child's emotions. This can be anybody that is in the custodial parent's life like a boyfriend/girlfriend, aunt or uncle or any family member of the custodial parent.

My Fight with Parental Alienation

In 2007 I divorced my wife in Florida and voluntarily agreed to give her custody of our daughter who is now 10 years old. I was awarded visitation and ordered by the Florida court to pay child support. I did not want my daughter to see her parents in any kind of dispute and thought this would be the fastest and best solution.
Since the divorce my ex-wife and my daughter have moved to Georgia to be closer to my ex-wife's parents because their health was declining. I did not object to this and I also moved to Georgia shortly after.
Well since the move, I'm still paying child support but my visitation has been few and far between. This past Father's Day I was prevented from seeing my daughter. My daughter has also become more aloof and distant towards me.
According to my custody papers I should have my daughter for Father's Day and the rest of the summer. But my ex-wife has left my daughter with her parents while she is in Oklahoma until the end of July.
I've had a meeting with the local judge in his office to discuss this. The judge is very sympathetic, in fact he has also dealt with Parental Alienation in his personal life years ago. But he informed me that the state of Georgia can only enforce the child support but can't enforce the visitation. I will have to get a lawyer.


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      4 years ago

      I am very sorry to hear about your circumstances. You sound like a very hard working father and you should be able to keep your visitation rights at all times! :( It's very sad when there are parents willing to do the best and right things for their children. I have an exhusband who's had to get threatened to be thrown in jail two times since our divorce 7 years ago, to pay child support and every time he gets away with lowering his child support. 2 years ago he was UNEMPLOYED again, so he asked to have child support reduced, again. And he WON, again, cut all arrears and child support by half for 3 children. The judge wouldn't hear me at all. My exhusband kept saying things like "She's selfish all she thinks about is herself and all she wants is money!" I tried to defend myself and the judge screamed at me "SHUT UP! OR YOU'LL BE HELD IN CONTEMPT!" These are my children and I have had to work 2 jobs, full-time jobs to support my 3 children while my exhusband gets away with not paying, lowering his child support and arrears and never having to pay anything for his children at all, not even visit them once! And I'm the bad parent? I feel so horrible for you because I know what it's like to put your all for your children, and to have someone take a lot from you! I wish you luck and hope you get to see and be with your child soon.

    • scooterport profile image

      scooterport 4 years ago from Summerville, Georgia

      Thank you so much. Encouraging words are awesome to hear.

    • samsons1 profile image

      Sam 4 years ago from Tennessee

      thanks so much for this vital information. I know it's no consolation to hear I have been in the same situation, with three girls. I hope you can get some kind of closure with a new lawyer. Divorces can be dirty and it's worse when one parent uses the children at 'bait'. Voted up, useful and shared...

    • scooterport profile image

      scooterport 4 years ago from Summerville, Georgia

      Thank you samsons1!

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