- Family and Parenting
The One Time Beating Your Kids might be Acceptable
Hitting kids? Huh?
Please read the whole hub before sending me any angry death threats. We live in a world where people are able to access a lot of good parenting tips and parenting advice. There is really no reason for any moderately motivated parent to be spanking or hitting their children. Studies show that more than anything this type of response further reinforces the behavior we don’t want. Kids will seek out attention, it doesn’t matter whether it positive or negative. The more we react and the greater the magnitude of the reaction the more likely we are to reinforce the unwanted behavior.
Really? Beating kids?
I said in the title that there is one time when beating your kids is OK. Alright I admit the title is a little misleading. I am referring to beating your kids at sports or games. I have never been an admirer of big people who don’t let little people win every once in a while at some type of competition. It could be checkers or cards or a video game. I mean we don’t always need to completely throw in the towel but adults who seem to get off on really seriously beating their kids at games, sports, video games, or any other type of competition need to check their egos and relax a little.
Sure kids get better by having reasonable competition and a parent can do that so that their child at least tries, but badly beating a child is quite likely to discourage them. If children are already getting a message from their parent that winning is everything they aren’t going to want to participate very much if they have no real chance of winning some meaningless game of monopoly or pickup basketball.
Reality check. The day I took my beating
There is one exception to this. Sometimes kids can get to the point where they really start to think poorly of their parents and begin to show little respect for their abilities or intelligence. I went through a phase like this at one point when I was about eleven years old. I suddenly got it into my expanding head that I was smarter than my Dad. I even intimated to him on occasion that he was no match for his son. How I came up with this brainstorm I have no idea. To this day I just shake my head wondering what I was thinking.
After playing chess with some friends and feeling pretty good about my opening, middle and end game, I decided to challenge Dad. I was convinced that I was going to school the old man. I told him to give me his best. This is the one time when a child probably deserves a sound beating. When the child not only asks for but also has the gall to do it in a disrespectful manner, then a little lesson just might be in order
My Dad gave me what
I asked for. Apparently I wasn’t the next Bobby Fischer, not even close. I was an eleven year old getting a little carried away. I got
my beating and even better than that I got back to giving my Dad the level of
respect he deserved. Whether I was any better than him at anything or not was really
irrelevant. I should have never acted the way I did in the first place but he taught me a lesson
in a calm and methodical way and I am thankful that he did. When children lose sight of the importance of respect and humility it doesn't hurt them to find it in a good sound beating.