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Parenting Advice 101

Updated on February 4, 2013

First, Find Your Style of Parenting

There are so many ideas about how to raise children. Some parents get parenting advice by adopting the ideas their own parents used. Other parents get parenting advice from friends. Some parents read books about parenting. Others take classes about parenting. As a parent you must come to the realization that no one has all the answers.

Ideas about raising a child can be grouped into four differing parenting styles. These are different ways of parenting that decide who is responsible for what in a family.

Find Your Parenting Style by reading below...

What Kind of Parent are You?

What is your parenting style?

Every parent wants to be a good parent, even though you may wonder about some parents. As I mentioned early there are 4 different parenting styles.

  1. Authoritative
  2. Authoritarian
  3. Permissive
  4. Neglectful

The Authoritative Parenting Style

A Balanced Approach to Parenting

The Authoritative parenting style is characterized by high expectations of compliance to parental rules and directions, an open dialogue about those rules and behaviors, and a child-centered approach.

The Authoritative parent is firm, fair, and applies consistent discipline to shape the child's behavior according to parental standards. Authoritative parents provide verbal expression of the reasons for instructions, consequences, and punishment when it occurs.

Authoritative parents actively listen and consider the child's opinions and feelings about family decisions. Authoritative parents are not usually over controlling allowing the child to explore more freely. Authoritative parents set limits, demand maturity, but when punishing a child, the parent will always explain his or her motive for their punishment. Children need and want limits. They do not automatically know the limits, they learn the limits from others, hopefully most often from the parent.

Authoritative parents typically forgive and discuss instead of punishing if a child falls short. This is supposed to result in children having a higher self esteem, and being independent. Children who are subject to this kind of parenting may debate with their parents and may form their own opinions in order to justify their disobedience.

Authoritative parents raise children who are successful, articulate, happy with themselves, and generous with others. These children are usually liked by teachers and peers, especially in cultures where individual initiative is valued.

Amazon Spotlight

The Five Love Languages of Children
The Five Love Languages of Children

This outstanding book addresses how each child (adults as well) expresses and receives love best through one of five primary "languages" - quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.

- Rick

 

The Authoritarian Parenting Style

The Military Style of Parenting

The Authoritarian parenting style is sometimes referred to as the military parenting style. The Authoritarian parenting style is characterized by emphasizing obedience, and usually has very strict family rules. An authoritarian parent is usually more concerned about the child doing what they say, and focuses less on the opinion or desires of the child. Authoritarian parents also see children as lesser people than adults. Therefore, they are treated as such. Authoritarian parents usually become overly angry and forceful when they don't get that obedience and respect.

Research has shown that Authoritarian parenting stifles intellectual growth and creativity. It also encourages children to either rebel against their parents, or to become submissive, which is often carried into adulthood.

The Permissive Parenting Style

The children are taking over.

The Permissive Parenting style is characterized as nurturing and accepting, but non-demanding. They may be warm and supportive, but they are not good disciplinarians - even in the privacy of their own home. They make only weak demands for good behavior and they tend to avoid or ignore obnoxious behavior. This type of parent simply wants the child to like him or her at the end of the day and will do anything the child requests to do. The resulting children are rarely, if ever punished and are generally immature. The children can not control their impulses and do not accept the responsibility for their own actions. When the child gets in trouble, the child will simply blame someone else even if it was his or her own fault.

Permissive parents believe that their kids should make their own choices, and that a parent should be there to support the choices that the child makes, basically regardless of what those choices may be. There are several different motivations for a parent to adopt the permissive style. One could be that the parent was brought up in an intensely strict and rigid home. If the parent did not thrive in an authoritarian environment, then that parent might in turn decide to approach parenting in the complete opposite fashion. It is also possible that the parent was raised in a very lax and permissive home him or herself, and if that situation worked very well, then that parent is likely to believe that permissive-style is the best way to raise children.

There are certainly many critics to the permissive parenting style. Many experts claim that this style creates an environment wherein the child is in control of the parent, instead of the parent being in charge of the child.

Research has shown that permissive parents tend to produce children who are more immature, demanding and dependent. These children are often rejected by their peers. Their self-esteem is often unrealistic and hard to interpret, for they often blame others for their problems and misfortunes.

Somethings To Do with Your Kids

Things to do with kidsAsk about your kids day

Play a board game with your kds

Read a book with/to your kids

Tell your kids you will Love them no matter what

Help your kids with their homework

Pray with your kids each night

The Neglectful Parenting Style

How can this be...

Neglectful parenting, also known as nonconformist parenting, is similar to permissive parenting but the parent does not care much about the child. The parents are generally not involved in their child's life, but will only provide basic needs for the child. Neglectful parents do not monitor or supervise the behavior of their children.

Neglectful parents are emotionally absent, physically absent, and unavailable. They are indifferent, non-communicative, distant, self-absorbed, unengaged, unstructured, detached, and sometimes cruel.

Children of neglectful parents perform poorly in all aspects of life.

Make sure you tell your kids you Love them everyday!

Parents: Go Hug Your Kids Today!

Parents: Go Hug Your Kids Today!
Parents: Go Hug Your Kids Today!

Required Disclosure

Rick Byrd is a participant in the Amazon Services, LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.

Your Parenting Coments are Welcome - ...tell us all about it!

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    • RickByrd1 profile image
      Author

      RickByrd1 4 years ago

      @audrey07: Thanks for stopping by and sharing. You are exactly right that parenting can be so rewarding. There is nothing like when your kids look in your eyes and tell you they love you. Parenting is an ever evolving job. We have to change the way we parent for each kid plus we have to change as the kids get older.

    • audrey07 profile image

      audrey07 4 years ago

      Being a parent is hard but also rewarding. I think it's hard because no two kids are the same. What works for one may not work for the other because of different personalities and character.

    • RickByrd1 profile image
      Author

      RickByrd1 4 years ago

      @TamsinY: Thanks for stopping by and sharing.

      You are so right about communication and I would say it must be positive communication as much as possible.

      It's funny, I was talking to my brother-in-law last night about his 3 week old baby boy about no matter what you are learning about parenting a newborn any other kids they have will be different and will need different parenting.

      Kids...they keep us on our toes!

    • TamsinY profile image

      TamsinY 4 years ago

      Parenting has to be one of the most challenging roles around! And communication and listening are 2 of the most important skills that we can employ - and pass on! Along with lots of love and hugs :) And I know that feeling with the 2nd child, thinking you know it all after your first child, and BAM, the second comes with totally different wiring!

    • JackNimble profile image

      JackNimble 6 years ago

      Cool Lens! Thanks for sharing.

    • natas105 profile image

      natas105 7 years ago

      Like your lens a lot! Also share your point of view.

      Would love to get some comments/ ratings on my new lens: www.squidoo.com/robo-mom

    • profile image

      RickinSC 7 years ago

      Regardless of your parenting style, its a good idea to just avoid some of the conflicts with children. Think about toy clutter. I built this Automatic toy cabinet to PREVENT spreading toys all over in the first place. Without the confrontation we can spend our time in better activities.

      What do you think?

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      What a great post. I see the impact of parenting first hand as a daycare provider, but this post is a great reminder that 'parent' is a verb and how it's done has a great impact on our kids from infancy through their adult lives.

    • italianheart92 lm profile image

      italianheart92 lm 8 years ago

      Wow great lens very helpful! Awesome job :D

    • RickByrd1 profile image
      Author

      RickByrd1 8 years ago

      [in reply to landocaly]

      Thanks for posting. The Octomom is a sore subject for me. I especially feel for the kids. Hopefully most parents will see all the media coverage and think I never want to do that to my kids. Unfortunately there are also those that see the media coverage she is getting and think I would like to be a "star" like her and have more kids ans live on welfare.

      All I can really hope and pray for is the kids will be raised properly and turn out to be great adults one day.

    • RickByrd1 profile image
      Author

      RickByrd1 8 years ago

      [in reply to freddi]

      I am glad you enjoyed the lens. I have to tell you the the "The Five Love Languages of Children" is one of the best books I have read. I learned so much. After having our second child I thought it would be easy but of course she is totally different and has a different love language than our first child.

    • profile image

      freddi 8 years ago

      Enjoyed your lens. Thanks for bringing this some attention. Many parents just blindly do things the way their parents did, but there are better ways if we're willing to do some research. I love learning about different parenting ideas & tips and ways of viewing parenting!

      I second your recommendation for "The Five Love Languages of Children". We do need to tell our children we love them, but we also need to show them and in a language that they understand as this book explains. It's one of many great resources.

    • profile image

      freddi 8 years ago

      Enjoyed your lens. Thanks for bringing this some attention. Many parents just blindly do things the way their parents did, but there are better ways if we're willing to do some research. I love learning about different parenting ideas & tips and ways of viewing parenting!

      I second your recommendation for "The Five Love Languages of Children". We do need to tell our children we love them, but we also need to show them and in a language that they understand as this book explains. It's one of many great resources.

    • profile image

      landocaly 8 years ago

      Your lens is very helpful. Could there be a silver lining to this whole Octomom debacle? It is a bad individual child-rearing situation but she is a lightning rod for a national discussion about parenting.

      Tony

      OctomomNews.com

    • Joanna14 profile image

      Christine Hulme 8 years ago from SE Kent, England

      A vibrant and thought provoking lens with good resources. Well done!

    • profile image

      STymeson 8 years ago

      Very nice and informative lens. Thank you for gifting the world with this information in a clear and concise manor.

      Much ease, joy and glory in your life!

      Sarah

    • Sistalove profile image

      Sistalove 9 years ago

      Thanks for this. A great Lens. My aby is stil only 7 months but yu have lots of tips for me to learn when she is older. 5 *

    • profile image

      anonymous 9 years ago

      Hi Rick,

      I just featured you onParenting On Squidoo. Have a nice day!

      Ashley

    • profile image

      TwoBrightHeads 9 years ago

      Good lens. Good and informative. Thank you.

      big bright head

    • AldricChang1 profile image

      AldricChang1 9 years ago

      Hi Rick, thanks for stopping by my Preschooler Cartoon Katakune lens :) 5 stars to you for this lens!

    • Mihaela Vrban profile image

      Mihaela Vrban 9 years ago from Croatia

      Like it! My babygirl is still too young and not too demanding. I'll come back in couple of years and tell you what kind of parent I'm! I know what kind I wanna be... but, we'll see!

      Give you 5*, and lensroll to my Gentle baby care!