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Where Are We Failing in Parenting?

Updated on July 2, 2017

Parenting in this generation is more of art than responsibility or a duty. Parenting demands immense patience and docile nature. It requires your honest efforts. Parenting has a prime role in developing a child as a individual. It has to be handled with care and maturity. Just because you're a parent, doesn't mean you control your child's life or have a right to overrule their decision. We are witnessing many scenarios where in a teen is caught on a drug abuse case, drink and drive, involved in illegal activities, rape etc. What could be the reason behind this? Who are misleading them? Why are they adamant towards their decision?

The answer is bad parenting. It is true that a good parenting can bring a positive effects on child's personality. At the same time, it is true that a bad parenting can lead to inimical personality. We fail to make our children understand the consequences of their actions. We tend to fear them. We do not prepare them for the reactions instead we frighten them even before they could act. For example, we tell our children not to touch a fire. But we fail to explain them the consequences of touching fire. They try to experiment themselves to find the answers to their why's. They make an attempt to touch fire. This action results in burn i.e pain. They learn it by experience that they shouldn't touch fire. It is harmful. A good parenting or a parent is when you explain your kid consequences of touching fire. You can make them understand and be patient towards their innumerable questions, sometimes the same question can be asked several times.

As they start growing, we try to draw a boundary. We stop them from experimenting. We try to instigate our principles onto them. We set rules, we try to sculpt them. We cease them from exploring. We try to prevent them from committing mistakes. We all have heard a famous quote, "your last mistake is your biggest lesson". We fail to give chances to our children to learn from their mistakes. This is the reason why they commit irreparable mistakes. When you make them understand and help them sort out their small mistakes, they completely become resistant towards committing such blunders. As they step into teenage, parents responsibility doubles. They need to keep an eye and become a silent spectator of their actions. Do not put or force your opinions or principles onto your next generation. Behave more like a friend than a parent. It is necessary for you to assure them that you're going to be with them In all their phases. Reinforce confidence when they lack, make them understand it's okay to fail inorder to understand what success feels like. Sideline your personal unhappiness with spouse, avoid arguments in front of your children. Never discuss your financial status in front of them. Create a healthy atmosphere. Let them enjoy freedom completly, this will make them feel guilty to even commit any kind of mistakes. Maybe we'll witness better progeny. This will result in creating better citizens and a healthy society.

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    • The0NatureBoy profile image

      Elijah A Alexander Jr 6 weeks ago from Washington DC

      Vasudha,

      Your assessment is very correct, as far as it goes, but there are many other factors at play in today's children's up bring. A severely harmful mistake is believing how we were brought up as being the correct way. It isn't. Most of us were brought up to conform to what our own upbringing taught us we should be, for yesteryear's social standard that has changed in this time of awakening and require a different standard. That's the predicament, we don't know what is needed to prepare children for the events of the time.

      This time of awakening brings with it the most corrupt of man in every category because it's necessary to awaken. Therefore the corruption of every kind is present to either force man to be corrupt or seek the causes which will show how to change the effects. That process require education, i.e., the individual must have integrity enough to "objectively observe, participate for recognizing the various effects, reason with those effects to develop the ability to communicate the findings" as educate is defined.

      Parents can't teach that unless they are educated, and few are, therefore anyway we attempt to raise the chid is only schooling or preparing them to follow a man leader. I was directed to educate myself by a bodiless voice who told me "you may as well be content, no one is coming to get you" when I was only about six months old. My mother had left me asleep in a rails up baby bed, left the house for some reason and my older siblings outside playing. When I woke up I made a sound to be gotten out but no one came. I began to cry as loud as possible for what seemed a long time to me before the voice spoke and I obeyed.

      I have always questioned my parents' instructions. My mother was a school teacher and many usually think they have the correct answers to everything. From her I often got such answers as "that is the way life is and we have to accept it that way," "because I said so and that's enough," that is the way I was brought up" and other such answers I was supposed to accept.

      Never was I told the key to education. "I don't know so why don't we search for the answer and whoever find it give it to the other." Instructing in that way would encourage exploring for the purpose of learning rather than schooling them into the concept of right and wrong that doesn't actually exist. Every action will produce an effect correct for the procedure used. Being allowed to explore and encouraged to learn from them they are less likely become addicted. Example. At nine months my daughter asked for a drink of my beer that I refused. Her mother heard it and asked me why would I use something in front of but disallow my child to do it. So I gave her as many sips as she desired and became intoxicated because she soon went to sleep. Today, is in her early fifties, she still doesn't touch alcohol but had I refused her she may would be an alcoholic today.

      That I said because I explored for learning from my experiences which is the major reason for my spiritual awakening.