ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Where Are We Failing in Parenting?

Updated on July 2, 2017

Parenting in this generation is more of art than responsibility or a duty. Parenting demands immense patience and docile nature. It requires your honest efforts. Parenting has a prime role in developing a child as a individual. It has to be handled with care and maturity. Just because you're a parent, doesn't mean you control your child's life or have a right to overrule their decision. We are witnessing many scenarios where in a teen is caught on a drug abuse case, drink and drive, involved in illegal activities, rape etc. What could be the reason behind this? Who are misleading them? Why are they adamant towards their decision?

The answer is bad parenting. It is true that a good parenting can bring a positive effects on child's personality. At the same time, it is true that a bad parenting can lead to inimical personality. We fail to make our children understand the consequences of their actions. We tend to fear them. We do not prepare them for the reactions instead we frighten them even before they could act. For example, we tell our children not to touch a fire. But we fail to explain them the consequences of touching fire. They try to experiment themselves to find the answers to their why's. They make an attempt to touch fire. This action results in burn i.e pain. They learn it by experience that they shouldn't touch fire. It is harmful. A good parenting or a parent is when you explain your kid consequences of touching fire. You can make them understand and be patient towards their innumerable questions, sometimes the same question can be asked several times.

As they start growing, we try to draw a boundary. We stop them from experimenting. We try to instigate our principles onto them. We set rules, we try to sculpt them. We cease them from exploring. We try to prevent them from committing mistakes. We all have heard a famous quote, "your last mistake is your biggest lesson". We fail to give chances to our children to learn from their mistakes. This is the reason why they commit irreparable mistakes. When you make them understand and help them sort out their small mistakes, they completely become resistant towards committing such blunders. As they step into teenage, parents responsibility doubles. They need to keep an eye and become a silent spectator of their actions. Do not put or force your opinions or principles onto your next generation. Behave more like a friend than a parent. It is necessary for you to assure them that you're going to be with them In all their phases. Reinforce confidence when they lack, make them understand it's okay to fail inorder to understand what success feels like. Sideline your personal unhappiness with spouse, avoid arguments in front of your children. Never discuss your financial status in front of them. Create a healthy atmosphere. Let them enjoy freedom completly, this will make them feel guilty to even commit any kind of mistakes. Maybe we'll witness better progeny. This will result in creating better citizens and a healthy society.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • The0NatureBoy profile image

      Elijah A Alexander Jr 

      15 months ago from Washington DC

      Vasudha,

      Your assessment is very correct, as far as it goes, but there are many other factors at play in today's children's up bring. A severely harmful mistake is believing how we were brought up as being the correct way. It isn't. Most of us were brought up to conform to what our own upbringing taught us we should be, for yesteryear's social standard that has changed in this time of awakening and require a different standard. That's the predicament, we don't know what is needed to prepare children for the events of the time.

      This time of awakening brings with it the most corrupt of man in every category because it's necessary to awaken. Therefore the corruption of every kind is present to either force man to be corrupt or seek the causes which will show how to change the effects. That process require education, i.e., the individual must have integrity enough to "objectively observe, participate for recognizing the various effects, reason with those effects to develop the ability to communicate the findings" as educate is defined.

      Parents can't teach that unless they are educated, and few are, therefore anyway we attempt to raise the chid is only schooling or preparing them to follow a man leader. I was directed to educate myself by a bodiless voice who told me "you may as well be content, no one is coming to get you" when I was only about six months old. My mother had left me asleep in a rails up baby bed, left the house for some reason and my older siblings outside playing. When I woke up I made a sound to be gotten out but no one came. I began to cry as loud as possible for what seemed a long time to me before the voice spoke and I obeyed.

      I have always questioned my parents' instructions. My mother was a school teacher and many usually think they have the correct answers to everything. From her I often got such answers as "that is the way life is and we have to accept it that way," "because I said so and that's enough," that is the way I was brought up" and other such answers I was supposed to accept.

      Never was I told the key to education. "I don't know so why don't we search for the answer and whoever find it give it to the other." Instructing in that way would encourage exploring for the purpose of learning rather than schooling them into the concept of right and wrong that doesn't actually exist. Every action will produce an effect correct for the procedure used. Being allowed to explore and encouraged to learn from them they are less likely become addicted. Example. At nine months my daughter asked for a drink of my beer that I refused. Her mother heard it and asked me why would I use something in front of but disallow my child to do it. So I gave her as many sips as she desired and became intoxicated because she soon went to sleep. Today, is in her early fifties, she still doesn't touch alcohol but had I refused her she may would be an alcoholic today.

      That I said because I explored for learning from my experiences which is the major reason for my spiritual awakening.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)