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Asperger's Child: From Mom's Concern To Diagnosis, And Beyond

Updated on November 27, 2014

My Son's Journey Through Asperger's.

Having a child with Asperger's Syndrome is the most confusing, exasperating, embarrassing, helpless, innocent, energetic, fun, and amazing experiences I have ever been through. And one that I will continue to learn from for the rest of my son's life.

Our journey has only just begun, but I wanted to share what I saw before the diagnosis. Why I suspected Asperger's by two years of age. The things that Christopher would do, and wouldn't do, that made me sure my son was looking at the world through a different light than the rest of us.

Setting The Stage.

A short story about me

I am the mother of two children, a 16 year old girl and a 5 year old boy at the time I started this lense. When my daughter was born I searched for a career that would allow me to be near her as much as possible, and, with my Dad's help, I found a job as a Daycare Toddler Teacher. I had no experience, but the Director took me under her wing, and that was the start of my childcare experience. For 15 years I worked in various aspects of daycare in Oregon, and attended several seminars. The information on "typically developing children" and the "appropriate level of fine and gross motor skills" was constantly being taught. I always took some courses on ADHD and Autism because we would have children with these challenges at the daycare at times. It all sunk into my brain and gave me a solid background to draw on when my son came along.

Why Do You Want To Label Your Child?

The #1 question I was asked.

The more I pushed for a diagnosis of some kind for my son, the more this question came up. Just why did I want my son "labelled"?

Because I was going to give my child every chance possible to be successful in life. Asperger's people learn in a different way, and have trouble with transitions through the day. For Christopher to be able to function and learn in school with his peers, he was going to need help to stay on track. Who am I to withhold the services that will help make his life a little less stressful and a lot more productive.

New Video About Living With Autism

Beautiful words and music! Sung by Thanh Bui with music by Fiona Johnson and words by Valerie Foley. Inspired by those who live with an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Christopher arrives...early!

My pregnancy with Christopher was fairly typical. I was 38 years old and decided to have amniocentesis done to rule out some potential problems. Everything came back fine and the pregnancy continued without a hitch...until August 12th 2003.

I had been having contractions since early morning. At my appointment that afternoon I was told that active labor had started, and I was going to have a baby today! Christopher was due on September 9th, but chose to arrive almost a month early. Luckily everything went well and he arrived just a couple hours later.

As I said earlier, Christopher has been diagnosed with Asperger's, but at birth he had a different hurdle to jump. At the left corner of his mouth, at his left ear and in his left nostril he had 4 skin tags. When he peeked at us with both eyes, we noticed that the left one was smaller. After another day the Ophthalmologist had researched the skin tags and eye problems and discovered that Christopher was born with Hemifacial Microsomia. If you search the name you can end up with all sorts of scary stories of possible problems...in reality Christopher was very lucky to have only an eye problem.

We counted ourselves lucky and took a beautiful boy home with us.

Toys For Asperger's Children. - With Christopher's Seal Of Approval.

These are a few toys that Christopher really enjoyed as a young child. Toys that held his attention, challenged him, and helped him release anxiety.

Meet Baby Christopher.

Sweet, happy boy.

As an infant, Christopher was a pretty good baby. He wasn't overly fussy, and he ate and nursed well. Looking back on behaviors I can see some mannerisms that were different than the other babies in the infant room at the daycare.

When laying on the floor Christopher would start kicking one foot...like he was trying to kick start a motorcycle. It would happen if he was under the "play gym", or if you were talking to him. As he learned to sit upright, he spent some time in the exersaucer (a stationary "walker" with bouncy supports). Most kids love to bounce using both feet at once...Christopher would "jog", alternating feet, for several minutes at a time.

His bouncy seat had a lighted arch that flashed when he kicked his feet. He would accidentally kick...see the lights flash...get excited and kick again. His eyes would get big and his movements were jerky...if there was a picture of "overstimulated" in the dictionary this would be it.

Christopher was late to crawl and walk. Crawling happened on his 1st birthday. Walking didn't come until 18 months, partially because he was put in AFO braces for stability. Kids with Asperger's are known to have some motor coordination control problems as well, and that may have contributed.

Christopher's Repetitive Play - again and again and again.

People with Asperger's will often repeat motions or phrases over and over. It's sometimes referred to as "stimming" and helps them to focus or calm themselves. Here he is mimicking a toy he's been playing with that spins balls around. Spinning balls, wheels, carnival rides, merry-go-rounds, etc. all create a calming feeling for a lot of Autistic kids.

The Terrific Two Year Olds!

In which Christopher starts obessions.

Between 20 and 24 months of age, Christopher transitioned from the infant room at daycare to the Toddler room. Two other kids moved from the infant room about the same time as Christopher, one about a month older and one a month younger. This set up a great way for me to gauge the development of all three children.

Christopher enjoyed repetitive action toys, even if they were infant toys. Anything that would pop up balls over and over, spin around and around, or swing back and forth. For 20-30 minutes at a time he would watch the action start and stop, and get furious if anyone wanted to touch the toys parts.

Light switches and door knobs became action toys as well, and no toddler locks could hold him in or out.

At this time the other two kids were building with blocks, coloring, pretending in the kitchen, and creating follow me games around the room. Christopher would show interest in what they were doing and mimic, but never played with or added to the activity. He would do art projects, as long as it didn't involve squishy or gooey things, and didn't participate in dramatic play.

Christopher loved music. He sang everything from "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to popular songs on the radio. He could even sing the correct notes most of the time. We would use his favorite songs to help him calm down at stressful times.

At two years old Christopher began showing his frustration by banging his head on the floor or table repeatedly. Sometimes the fits included kicking and throwing things. If kids touched the toy he wanted, or he had to stop playing with something he would become frustrated. The one thing that helped him calm down at this age was a facial tissue...he would rub it between his fingers and suck on his bottom lip. I was always told that he couldn't have Autism because he didn't have any repetitive behaviors, but these behaviors only happen when he's tired or frustrated.

Important To Remember...

Signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Asperger's can be similar.

The main difference between the two is this:

OCD obsessions are not enjoyable. They use compulsions to get rid of them.

Asperger's obessions are enjoyable. They often lose track of time, and focus on only the obsession.

Educate The World About Asperger's.

A few books on Asperger's Syndrome and how it affects everyone. Education is always the best way to start understanding something new. Get the perspective of professionals, parents, and people with Asperger's.

The Preschool Years.

Christopher goes to Early Intervention Classes

By Three years old Christopher had shown a strong interest in how things work. Where the water came from and where it went, How the infant swing worked, where the batteries were in every toy, and ceiling fans!

Christopher's interest in water helped lead him to the toilet and potty training. He picked up on peeing in the toilet pretty fast, although it sometimes wasn't a priority. Bowel movements in the toilet didn't happen until about a month before his 5th birthday.

He tolerated art projects...not even wanting to color. He would sit down, draw one line, and say he was done.

Christopher started to organize the way he played. Shape sorters were always done in the same order. Colored toys were always stacked in a certain color order and taken down in a certain order. He would ask the same question over and over, and expected the same answer back.

Early Intervention finally listed Christopher as "otherwise health impaired" because of his lack of social development, and enrolled him in 3 year old preschool. He went to school 2 days a week for 2 hours. He continued to do well academically...he had learned his colors, shapes, and letters by 2 years old. Memorizing things was easy for Christopher, but playing with and communicating with other kids wasn't happening. He would get frustrated, and scream and kick throughout the day at school.

I had been suspicious of his behaviors by 2 years old because of other children I had seen with Autism, but I doubted my theories. At 3 years old I finally decided, with the backing of my fellow teachers, that I needed to get him tested. I convinced his Pediatrician, and got a referral to the Children's Hospital in Portland OR.

Christopher Growing up. - Life in pictures

Click thumbnail to view full-size
Big Sister Tori and Baby Christopher the day after he was born.  8/13/03Christopher at one month old.Do I like the feel of water?  7/2004Happy 2nd Birthday!"It's my hat".  9/2005Halloween bat!  10/2005The bowling pin order...4 blue, 3 yellow, 2 blue, 1 red.  10/2006Halloween '06...red spot on forehead is a rug burn from banging his head.Spinners!  Let them go and watch them spin! 10/2006Children's Rodeo...part of the Pendleton Round-Up!  9/2008
Big Sister Tori and Baby Christopher the day after he was born.  8/13/03
Big Sister Tori and Baby Christopher the day after he was born. 8/13/03
Christopher at one month old.
Christopher at one month old.
Do I like the feel of water?  7/2004
Do I like the feel of water? 7/2004
Happy 2nd Birthday!
Happy 2nd Birthday!
"It's my hat".  9/2005
"It's my hat". 9/2005
Halloween bat!  10/2005
Halloween bat! 10/2005
The bowling pin order...4 blue, 3 yellow, 2 blue, 1 red.  10/2006
The bowling pin order...4 blue, 3 yellow, 2 blue, 1 red. 10/2006
Halloween '06...red spot on forehead is a rug burn from banging his head.
Halloween '06...red spot on forehead is a rug burn from banging his head.
Spinners!  Let them go and watch them spin! 10/2006
Spinners! Let them go and watch them spin! 10/2006
Children's Rodeo...part of the Pendleton Round-Up!  9/2008
Children's Rodeo...part of the Pendleton Round-Up! 9/2008

4 Year Old Preschool.

The disappointment.

It took several months to get a date for Christopher to be tested at Doernbecher's Children's Hospital. In the meantime, we were gathering more information from his new teachers at his 2nd year of preschool.

The first couple of weeks of a new school year are the worst. Asperger's kids don't do transitions well. A new teacher, new classroom, and new kids was a lot to get used to. His new teacher seemed to clue into his difficulties. She gave him "fidget toys" at circle time, or let him sit outside the circle if he wanted.

After talking with his teacher about his frustration level, she clued us in to the mini trampoline. It seemed that on days when he would jump on the mini trampoline before class, he was able to cope with little frustrations better. There's something in the brain working on balance and the bouncing motion that helps him "center".

Christopher also likes to touch everything...faucets, microwaves, computers, light switches...all of which they had in the classroom! They started to hang "stop" signs on things he wasn't supposed to touch. It made him hesitate, and eventually learn to not touch all the time. The water faucet was too tempting though, and they had to cover it with a box...out of sight, out of mind.

By November, about 2 1/2 months after his 4th birthday, Christopher went to be tested for Autism. It was a 3 to 4 hour battery of tests. I had several pages of questions I had to answer on paper, and later verbally to a doctor. Christopher had a blast, because he loves to interact with adults. He got to play with a lady in a room full of toys, and talk to a psychiatrist in another room, and get checked out by a pediatrician. Throughout the day he charmed his way through all the obstacles, and was dubbed not Autistic...and by the way he is so "charismatic and cute"!

Later, when the hospital liaison called to find out what I thought about the testing, I told her the truth. I was surprised that a test for high functioning Autism didn't include any interaction with other kids, because that is where they have problems. I was disappointed to say the least.

Videos that shed light on Asperger's.

In this day and age we are lucky to have "You Tube". A platform where anyone can can say what's on their mind...and many people do. People with Asperger's and Parents of children with Asperger's have used video to help the rest of us understand what is going on in their minds. After hearing "it's just a phase he'll grow out of" over and over...it was comforting to know what other people were going through.

Kindergarten And Beyond!

The triumph

Because Christopher still refused to initiate play with other children, he was still listed as "otherwise health impaired". When it came time to talk with the school about Kindergarten we got some good news. His teacher's at preschool were unbelieving of the outcome of his Autism test, so we met with the Kindergarten teacher and special education coordinator for the school. The information about Christopher's behaviors and concern about his anxiety level were enough to keep him in the Special Ed. program. They wanted to observe him in the classroom, and do further testing at the local level.

The Teacher's at Christopher's new school made a picture book of the classroom, playground, and people at school so he would have a better transition to Kindergarten. We also visited the classroom a couple days before school started to become familiar with the room and teacher. It was a rough start, but only took a week to calm down and get into a routine. True to his past, his biggest trouble lies in interacting with other children.

The first half of the school year took Christopher through a roller coaster of emotion. He loves being around other kids, but they don't play with things the way he thinks they should. Asperger's kids have very set ideas about how things should be done, and all these kids doing things "wrong" is very frustrating. He had some screaming fits, hit a few times, and lost minutes off his recess being noisy or not doing his work.

Through all of these rough times I tried to stay calm and talk with his teacher and her assistant. I didn't want to throw my frustration at them as well, and figured we could all find what was best for Christopher if we worked together.

Medical Diagnosis Of Asperger's Syndrome

Confirmation and relief

For a while my husband and I wondered about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Maybe that was why he was so quirky about certain things? We found out that the school doesn't test for OCD. That testing was something we had to initiate, and decided to ask Christopher's Pediatrician for a referral to a Child Psychiatrist. Living in Eastern Oregon means that you have to travel for specialty health services...usually to Portland. Our referral was for a renowned doctor in the Portland area who just so happened to be starting a clinic in Pendleton!!! Once a week he traveled here! Our luck seemed to be turning.

About halfway through Christopher's Kindergarten year we started meeting with the Psychiatrist. After three appointments, Dr. Dave of "Mind Matters, p.c.", had an answer for us. He said there was no doubt that Christopher had Asperger's, not OCD. He was also careful to tell us the regardless of what he was diagnosed with, the treatment is for the symptoms that cause the biggest problems. For Christopher those are "friendship" and "coping" skills. His therapist is helping him learn how to interact with people. He has to work hard on his new skills...to take turns listening and talking, to share, be nice, and not touch things that belong to someone else. When a moment comes up that requires one of these skills, we have to draw a connection for him. At a store the other day he wanted to touch a card embosser on the desk...he walked straight to it while asking if he could try it, but forgot to listen for a reply. As a result he touched something that didn't belong to him, and we reminded him of his skills. While I stopped his hands, Christopher looked at me and you could tell he understood what he forgot to do, but the desire to touch is so strong it will take a long time for him to be able to stop himself.

I'm thankful that Christopher has a chance to practice these skills as he grows. So many kids are outcasts for several school years before they are diagnosed. Whether or not you wish to have a child "labeled" with a condition, they will be labeled by the kids and people around them. We all draw conclusions about people we see, before we really get to know them. Christopher has shown me just how important it is to give people a chance, and find the bright spot that shines in everyone.

Christopher's Easter Dance!

When excited children with Asperger's have trouble controlling their movements. This is a video of Christopher at the 2009 Easter Egg Hunt.

Kindergarten Graduation!

A proud parent moment

We had 3 months left in Christopher's Kindergarten year. We had a medical diagnosis of Asperger's. Now we needed a diagnosis from the school district specialists saying his impairments get in the way of his learning.

Since there is no cut-and-dry method of diagnosing Autism, every person who administers the screenings has a subjective view of the results. I think that played a big part in the failed test Christopher took at the Children's Hospital the year before. I was nervous about the outcome of the test this time, because Christopher's educational success was going to rely on what these people saw. Luckily this time some of the people rating his behaviors were the people that had been working with him throughout the school year. Once you get past Christopher's cute smile and charasmatic personality, then you can see the impairments.

After a month of visits with Christopher, several questionnaires, and interviews the meeting was called to give the results. Finally a group of educators saw through the "cute and charismatic blond haired boy" to his difficulties and anxieties. Christopher is considered to have "Autistic Spectrum Disorder" by the education system. He will receive assistance in the classroom to keep him on task. He will have break times to help with frustrations and fatigue. He will receive private assistance in fine motor skills (writing mostly).

He will graduate from Kindergarten!! Look out First Grade, here we come!

The whole day of school will be difficult for all of us...but with assistance from the school district and the therapist Christopher at least has a fighting chance. Just like every other child. It truly does take a village to raise a child!

Graduation commenced on June 9th, 2009. Christopher proudly walked in when his name was called, wearing a red (his favorite color) hat, to accept his diploma. Then during the ceremony he sat down on the risers while everyone else stood up. O.K., so maybe not like every other child...but that is what makes these Austism Spectrum kids so wonderful!!

Christopher's Daily Visual Schedule
Christopher's Daily Visual Schedule

Full Day At First Grade!

Ready or not, here he comes!

First grade was coming fast and I was getting a little nervous. The school had plans to have a helper in the classroom most of the day to help direct his focus. We set up a couple visits to the classroom and to meet his teacher the week before school. Christopher was excited to get started.

The first two months went well...staying on task and working in groups with minimal meltdowns. He still struggled with handwriting and playing with the other kids. Learning to sound out words was hard for him, so he just memorized words after they were read to him. Christopher had set times to get out of the classroom for "breaks" that included exercises, swinging, balance board, snack, etc. A visual daily schedule was on his desk so he knew what was happening throughout the day, and, so I knew how his day went, they sent a copy home with him everyday. Smiley faces were good! Red lines were difficult times.

I'm not sure what happened the next two months...there might have been a trigger that set off his behaviors, or it might have been that the "symptoms" of his Aspergers were becoming more severe. Whatever the reason, Christopher started to be a distraction in the classroom, making constant noises, not doing his work, and having meltdowns when his favorite activities ended. When he acted up he was sat in a chair by the door, then outside the door, then in the office....each time the noises would get louder. He started to kick and hit his helper, and run from the classroom. We met with the teachers and specialists to brainstorm about what was happening...set up a new classroom schedule, added more "break" times and incentives. Nothing seemed to effect his behavior for long. He was being sent home whenever he hit and the school officials were running out of ideas to help.

Christopher's behavior therapist and psychiatrist had always said when the support people around an autistic child start to crumble, it's time to try medicine. We tried different medicines for different symptoms...impulse, emotional extremes, aggression, and slowing down his mind so he can focus. When they didn't work or when side effects were undesirable we would switch to something else. He spent more time in the Special Education room in the Spring to get him away from the busy classroom and focus his attention on his work.

At the end of the year, despite his problems, Christopher had made progress on his I.E.P. (individual Education plan) Goals, had passed the classroom work, but was still struggling to work in a classroom setting. His report card said he was distracting to the classroom environment, but because he is so smart they knew he needed to move on to second grade. We started the summer with a little frustration and a lot of determination. Our goals would be to find a good medicine combination for Christopher, and to help him understand that there is a time for work and a time for play. I was developing a schedule for some light work on math and and writing 3 days a week through the summer. My hope was that he would understand that learning is a part of life, in school and out.

Your Pieces Of The Puzzle - Tell me about your Autism experiences, or ask any questions you may have.

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    • profile image

      Early2ReadMom 3 years ago

      GReat lens. Thanks for sharing such valuable info.

    • Gypzeerose profile image

      Rose Jones 4 years ago

      This is an exceptionally beautiful and informative lens. Pinned to my aspbergers and autism board, tweeted and linked to my own lens: https://hubpages.com/politics/the-autism-site2 - Great job on explaining this difficult disorder to understand.

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Love reading this! It took me twelve years to finally get Aspergers diagnosis for our daughter! And now we are sure one of our two yr old twins has it. He is a bit young, but the signs are so obvious to us this time round! Espiecially as he has a twin that seems to be N/T. If its not Aspergers, then it's high functioning asd. We will start the diagnosis for him in 2 wks! Hugs to all out there on this journey

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      Love reading this! It took me twelve years to finally get Aspergers diagnosis for our daughter! And now we are sure one of our two yr old twins has it. He is a bit young, but the signs are so obvious to us this time round! Espiecially as he has a twin that seems to be N/T. If its not Aspergers, then it's high functioning asd. We will start the diagnosis for him in 2 wks! Hugs to all out there on this journey

    • karatepooh profile image
      Author

      karatepooh 4 years ago

      @anonymous: It's amazing to me how similar a lot of stories are....and Aspergers kids all seem to have that "look". I'm not sure where you live, but I'm out in Oregon....who knows, maybe someday our brilliant kids will end up on the same path and we will finally meet! Best of luck!

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      I wish I could meet you guys! I see your pictures of your son and he is a "doppelgänger" of my son recently diagnosed with Aspergers. My son was born Feb. 12, 2007 and has a very similar story to yours. I've watched your videos and the one of him doing handmovements on youtube is just like my son. I have shown it to our relatives and at first they mistake your son for mine!

    • profile image

      anonymous 4 years ago

      I just came across your website and read it with a big interest. I am extremely concerned for my 3 year old son. He seemed to communicate just normal until he started a preschool about a month ago. Now he runs away from the children in the playground (the same ones he loved to play with before). Sometimes he might just talk from the distance but mostly he just turns his back... Other behaviors that you listed are harder for me to differentiate, I guess I will need to discuss with his pediatrician. From your experience could you please advise whether the onset of the avodanace of other kids comes all of the sudden or it's rather a behavior from day one? I am just extremely concerned, to the point I asked his teacher whether he had any fights with other kids and she said "No"...

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @karatepooh: Yeah, he definitely is thinking in dif terms.. .in this instance and others, we wind up with time on our hands where I try to occupy him. Today we had 15 miin before I take them to school. If he gets into a project like a game pad, then the transition is tougher and we risk starting the school day on a bad note. On the other hand, I would want to occupy him because he needs structure and do that w/o TV since parents prefer none. I love the train idea, I had thought of buckets to gather toys in anyway...sounds like fun. His comment to my request was,"...so you don't want me to have any fun for 15 minutes and put toys away...." Made me laugh. Still, I notice in school, the teachers don't make up games...they make a request to put things away and he does it.Maybe peer pressure helps.

    • karatepooh profile image
      Author

      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @sandee-strunk: I don't think it's unreasonable to ask, but your grandson may be thinking about the task in different terms. They can be very logical, and it may not make sense to him why he should take them back if he is just going to bring them out again, or the task may interfere with something he really wants to do. Finding a way to make the task fit into something he likes might help...my son loves Hiways and roads, so I might name the hallway "interstate 84" and have him haul them down the hiway! Tubs or boxes tied together like a train can be fun too. Unfortunately cleaning up isn't something any of us want to do, but just another transition that has to happen. Good luck with the toys! Maybe some of the readers of this page can come up with some other ideas for you too!

    • profile image

      sandee-strunk 5 years ago

      I have a 7-yr old grandson and am the nanny for him and younger sis. they are so much fun. But wondering can I ask and expect my Aspie to take his toys back to his room? I am not asking him to organize. He does this in 2nd grade school so thinking it is not an unreasonable request. He is fairly hi-functioning too. Thanks

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I so understand the looking beyond the cuteness and personality to see the impairments.

    • karatepooh profile image
      Author

      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Yes, my son is on medication. His psychiatrist has a combination of medicines to help his "problem areas" but also work together to help keep the doses low. Currently he takes fluoxetine, stratera, and respiradone. Every child is different though, so medicine vary greatly from child to child, even for the same symptoms.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      is your child on medication

    • karatepooh profile image
      Author

      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Good luck with your diagnosis! Here in the US we have to have an "education" diagnosis, done by the school specialists, to prove that there is an educational need for special assistance. Even if you have a medical diagnosis the school still requires there own. It seems like we have to work so hard to get appropriate education no matter where we live!

    • karatepooh profile image
      Author

      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Spinning is a way for Autistic people to block out outside stimulation, or to provide a certain type of stimulation they crave. "Stimming" is what they call the repetitive motion that Autistic people use to control sensory input...search Stimming for more in depth information.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Good luck with Christopher. I was diagnosed aged 53, there was no recognition for the disorder in my day. I just got beaten and bullied a lot. It's a better world but sadly, still a lot of ignorance.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Wow...your story sounds soooooooo familiar. My 5 year old is in the diagnosis process, previously having been diagnosed as ADHD. Your point about how he behaves 1 on 1 with an adult vs. a room full of kindergarten kids is well taken. I gotta say, I'm hoping for a definitive diagnosis or else, here in Germany, we can't get any school-based help.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Why would a 11yr old spin continually?

    • Spiderlily321 profile image

      Spiderlily321 5 years ago

      Very good lens! I am adding you to my featured lens list under the section on aspergers. The lens is called "Would you like to be part of a support circle for parents blessed with special children?" Thanks so much for sharing

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      i have been searching for information that matches my daughter or at least close to her she is 16 months old she started walking at 8 months old and started talking at 10months by 12 months she had a 20 word vocab she has recently started regressing bad it's a downhill spiral she stopped talking and just babbles now her main babbles r oh and yea she would mimic ppl now she just looks at us like we r being stupid i had her tested last week for early interventions and she got in for speech but the said everything else was just a lil delayed she is at 14 months and for speech shes at 12 months i have a list of things i don't think is normal that she does that my son never did i am gonna post the list in hopes some1 can give me some insight

      * she only resonds to her name after several attempts of trying to get her attetion and most of the time i have touch her arm to get her eye contact

      *she doesn't point to the exact thing she wants just in the general direction

      *the only facial imatation she does is smile

      *was saying 20 different words and using 3 word sentences but lost everything except oh and yea

      *she will throw thantrums when i don't understand what shes trying to tell me

      *everything has its on spot and has to be put there if not she will put it there if u move it she will throw a tantrum

      *everything has to b clean she will touch dirty things but wants a bath or wiped off asap

      *needs to follow certain routines

      *will not set still the longest i have ever seen her set was 10mins (she has been this way sense birth she she could hold her head up at 3wks old and she started walking at 8months at 2 months old i had to buy a jumpin jenny just so she could stand)

      *she seems to be very "thick headed" no matter what u say or do she has to finish what she started just like now i looked over and she was setting on the table trying to open a jar even tho i said no and put her down off the table she threw a fit till i showed her how to open it now shes fine setting on the floor playing with her toys

      r these just bratty behavorial issues like ive been getting told or is there a problem like i think there might be

      she did have a feberal seizure (3 of them) at 12 months old

      i am very concerned as a mom of 2 my son was diagnoised with spd at the age of 3 but it took 3 yrs of me screaming theres something wrong b4 some1 even decided to help me she is also on the glucose free diet cause she has problems movein her bowls which the diet has helped but she still has a problem

      any insist would be great i am totally confused and just want/need answers

      Thank u

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      I haven't received a diagnosis for my 6 year old son but we are in the process of heading to that direction. Honestly eery how similar this story is to ours. I have known since he was about 6 mos old that something just wasn't right. At 2, I was convinced it was an autistic spectrum disorder but became disappointed by everyone around me who kept insisting his behaviour was normal and to keep in mind he was a "boy". Jan report card (grade1) boasted his reading and math skills, and spoke of him as a brilliant boy who had "some" trouble working with others. Fast forward 2 months, and it seems as though an alien has invaded his tiny body. He has become a "disruption" to the class, been caughbanging his head into walls, leaving the classroom and on one occasion caught trying to leave the premises. His "stimming" behaviors have caused the kids to call him weird, and tell him they don't want to be his friend, and everyday has been a battle with him to go to school because "no one wants to be my friend.". Await diagnosis, his teacher have been extremely supportive. Anthony now has 3 types of "break" cards to help him feel more at ease throughout the day. He has a "2 min break" a "spinning card" and a "chair card" when he feels the stimming coming on, he asks for a card and gets started on his stimming . The teachers find this has allowed him to recognize when things are becoming overwhelming. Its also given us a chance to start becoming aware of his triggers. Thank you so so sooo much for all of the info here. Its such a tough journey but every time I read another parents experience it at I will one day be able to understand his mind and help him understand the world a little better.

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      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Wow, we are walking a similar path! He can be diagnosed anytime by pediatric specialists or a psychiatrist (I chose a child and family psychiatrist)...this is considered a medical diagnosis. That's great for everything except getting help in school. The education system like to have their specialist evaluate them for and educational diagnosis...with this you can get an IEP to help with his barriers to learning. I know someone whose child was diagnosed at 2 1/2 years old! Some day maybe everyone will work together and make this process easier on everyone! He sounds like a very smart boy...with a Mom who loves him a lot!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Hi! Your story is almost identical to what I have been going through with my son. Levi was born December 30, 2008. He was a big, healthy baby weighing in at almost 10 pounds. When he was just a couple of months old, he was learning to roll over. By the time he was 6 months old, he was crawling, then by 6 and 1/2 months, he was walking. I was so very proud of my baby boy. When he first started rolling over, when he would get frustrated because he couldn't go anywhere, he would start banging his head over and over on the floor. I didn't think anything about it, because I just though he was having a little trouble holding his head up for so long, so I would just stop him. After he started crawling and walking, when he would get mad, he would start banging his head over and over until you stopped him. It did not matter how hard the surface was, he was going to keep on until you made him stop. By the time he turned a year old, he was saying "Mama". After he started saying this, I tried to start working on him with other words, such as "Dada" or "Nana", but he would not catch on to them. I figured he was just too young to speak. The older he got, the more I tried to work with him on words. I could not get him to say anything. I would take him to the playground and he would find his own little space and play in the sand. Every now and then, he would walk with the other kids, but when they started to play tag or talk to each other, he would walk away. I started taking him to a child behavioral therapist who then recommended I get him evaluated at "Babies Can't Wait". At this time he was four months away from turning three and he was barley speaking at all. He would copy what other people say, but he would not try to carry on a conversation like most three year olds do. When we got into the evaluation room, there were three different women there. They spoke to Levi, and got down in the floor and played with him. Levi is VERY flirtatious and loves being around women, so he did a pretty good job at playing with the women. They would try to get him to say what an object was by telling him the name of it. Of course, he was going to tell them what it was, because the only way he would talk was if he was repeating someone. He brought a duck up to me and I told him that the duck swims in the water and he went back and told one of the ladies "The duck swims in the water." At the end of the interview, when the women told him goodbye, Levi got very frustrated and anxious because he had to stop playing with the toys and leave. He was not ready to go, so he threw himself on the floor and started banging his head on the carpet. A few days later I received a paper from "Babies Can't Wait" saying that Levi was normal and only had a slight speech delay and I should not worry about it. This made me really upset. After the meeting, Levi behavior started getting worse. When we would take him in somewhere he was not familiar with, her would pitch a horrible fit until we left,(he still does this). Also, he has NEVER slept a full night. He wakes up anywhere from 3 to 7 times a night. So I contacted his behavioral therapist, who suggested that I took Levi to go so a pediatric psychiatrist. After a few meetings with his therapist and psychiatrist, they both told me they are almost 100% positive that Levi has Aspergers and ADHD. The main reason they think he has Aspergers is because the repetitive movements he makes with his hands and head, he has to have everything a certain way, when he plays with toys and lines them up, they have to be organized by the colors, and he over analyzes EVERYTHING. Lately, he has also started scratching and biting himself over and over. His psychiatrist put him on Tenex, but it was making his aggression worse. Now she is trying to get him on Risperdone.

      Levi is very, very smart, but will not sit still, by himself or with other children, long enough to draw or do any type of work. He knows his colors. He can count to 20 without skipping any numbers,(he learned this from taking his meds for his asthma and allergies. We would count the puffs from his inhaler and then continue counting the rest of his meds.) He knows what the numbers look like. He knows most of his letters. He knows how to spell "off", "on", "no", "yes", and "Levi". He knows his shapes including octagon, pentagon, hexagon, and trapezoid. He can also pick out the difference between two pictures or groups of things.

      I have heard the "He will grow out of it" speech Lord knows how many times, and now they are saying that they can not diagnose him until he is in school. Is this true?

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Wow! This is all so familiar - even the part where the doctors didn't see what the parents saw. My little girl will be turnin 4 this month and finally was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism shortly after her 3rd birthday, but it took changing pediatricians b/c our first one wouldn't believe for a minute there was anything wrong. She only saw a bouncy, happy, SMART little girl that maybe would just benefit from some extra 'Mothers Day Out' time to get better social skills. What a journey it has been. We've done almost a year of 2 days a week at a local speech/language/pre-k clinic which has helped her somewhat socially. At least now she'll acknowledge you when you speak to her and she's not as timid to be around people... she does generally like to be with people, but we're still working on the interactive part where she initiates play. Hasn't happened yet. Am about to have an interview with her new pre-school to see if they'll accept her. I can so see your stories becoming our realities in the near future with the jump in classroom size, more expectations from her during the day, etc. Praying it goes better than I imaine. Thank you for your story. I will save it and read it when I need encouragement and the reminder that it does take determination and time, but in the end, with a good team around you - there can be success. Thanks again!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Thanks @Danni! I will definitely check it out. I've enrolled him in a "regular"school for the fall semester. Also will have him in summer camp so we can get adjusted to the new morning routine of "get up and go" in a fun environment. I've recently noticed that he seems sensitive to loud noises, choosing to cover his ears. Not sure if I just missed it before or if its new. Am currently getting in touch with an autism support group here and hope to find a good child psychiatrist soon. Lots of work ahead of us, but I'm hopeful!

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      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @karatepooh: That should read "give" that boy a safe place to come and play!

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      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @anonymous: The tests for Autism are mostly observations of behaviors, and different people see the results differently. Here is a link to a list of some behaviors http://www.oregonautism.com/index.php?fuseaction=a...

      Interpretation of these is the hard part....my son never flapped his arms, but he did rub a Kleenex between his fingers when he was tired or frustrated. That to me was a repetitive behavior. Echolalia is the repeating of words and phrases that are said to them, that is considered a speech issue.

      When I worked in daycare we knew there was something up with this one boy, but you can only suggest some delays to the parent and maybe lead them to and early childhood education system (in Oregon we have the ESD, Education Service District, that provides testing and services for children with some possible concerns). It took this lady until her child was in 2nd grade to agree to do any testing, and was diagnosed with Aspergers. Arm yourself with knowledge, and patience, an drive that boy a safe place to come and play!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Hi, I spoke to his mom this morning....she thinks it is maybe his behavior is either because he is an only child or that he is a loner. I am not a doctor, I can see that he is different than the other kids in my care. He does not seem to have any ticks or repetitive hand movements. But is very repetitive in talking and echos what others say. He knows all the words to toopey and binoo. he can watch the same thing over and over. How do you know if he is autistic? I have no clue how to talk to the mom about this, as what if I am wrong?

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      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @anonymous: I think you have noted some interesting behavior characteristics, and can see your concern. Have you talked with his Mom about your concerns? You could approach her by asking if he has any specific likes, toys, topics...then you could talk about his lack of interaction. She may not have noticed much if she doesn't see him around other children like you.

      As for caring for him, just let him know in advance what is going to happen and talk with him about what he is doing. Even though he doesn't interact much he is taking in everything that goes on around him. If he isn't very verbal you can use pictures to help him understand what is coming next (PECS or nonverbal picture communication). Hopefully Mom can give you some ideas for topics and toys. My son used to love watching water and clocks ticking....you tube videos were a life saver!

      If the Mom is interested you could give her a link to this page, so she could see some pictures and videos to compare.

      I hope this has been some help for you. It's obvious you care about your daycare kids...they are very lucky to have you!

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      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @anonymous: I'm glad things are moving forward for your son! I've heard that some people believe Asperger's people don't have emotions or imagination, but would we have the Internet or any number of amazing inventions without Asperger's? There have been many speculations that early inventors had Asperger's....you can't invent unless you think out of the box! There are several musicians/artists with Asperger's as well! At least you have some help now, and maybe in the future they will see more. Good Luck in October, and thanks for the update!

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      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @anonymous: I'm glad things are moving forward for your son! I've heard that some people believe Asperger's people don't have emotions or imagination, but would we have the Internet or any number of amazing inventions without Asperger's? There have been many speculations that early inventors had Asperger's....you can't invent unless you think out of the box! There are several musicians/artists with Asperger's as well! At least you have some help now, and maybe in the future they will see more. Good Luck in October, and thanks for the update!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @karatepooh: Thank you once again for kind words! I have an update on our son.

      We went to the children's hospital and met several professionals there during three days. I got to talk about everything, they literally listened me going on and on for an hour or so(!), wrote everything down and took me seriously. Wow! My son played with different people (while they examined him, of course) and now I finally have some light on our case...

      Since the criteria for diagnosis are so different in my country, I'll just write down the names, excuse me for not being able to translate them properly..! My son seems to have...

      * motoric and vocal tics

      * undefined twitching disorder

      * hyperactivity

      * some traits of Asperger's, not enough for a diagnosis though

      So there you have it. We're going to go next October for a check up and then my son will meet a neurologist in order to specify his diagnosis. I'm relieved but exhausted and still feel like there are many things not even professionals can see...for example, they told me it can't be Asperger's since my son has wide imagination but I see it differently: sure he can do pretend play but it's never that "free". He has these sorta scenarios which he plays over and over again in different situations. For example, he's a bit scared of ghosts but at the same time likes to scare himself with the thought of them: no matter if he's holding a car or a Lego block, everything turns into this, almost like rehearsed, play..."...but then, it was the night of the ghosts!!", he says. And then it starts..."oh no, not again", I think. It's like watching a play with different themes: ghost theme, "i-am-better-than-you-in-every-single-way" theme, houseplay theme...yeesh.

      I'm not convinced that he doesn't have Aspergers. "Have a good day at the daycare", I say to him...and he says it back to me, from word to word, sounding a bit unsure of what to say. Telling him that adults don't go to daycare won't change the matter.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Hi,

      I currently take care of a three and 1/4 year old boy, and really am not sure what I should do about him. I have watched him since November of 2011 and have him 3 days a week, he took at least two months to get adjusted to coming to my home, which is not a problem but his behaviour is very concerning to me. He just wants to watch tv, he has no interest in playing with the kids even if they grab his hand to get him to come and play. He will go with them for a moment and do what they are doing then he will quit. I have a hard time getting him to do anything in my care. When I speak to him and ask him not to do something it is like he has no clue what I mean. He is very smart and can do puzzles and things like that but no social skills. He will ask me the same question over and over even though I have acknowledged him the first time he said it eg. Mommy is coming back soon.....and he will repeat that many time. If I scold one of the kids or they say something he will repeat it many times or sometimes just once. My concern is that he needs some help, or someone who knows how to deal with special needs. I am not sure if he is just used to be treated like a baby or what is wrong. I have never experienced a child like this and I'm not sure what I should do......I don't know what to do? Please help.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Does not sound like adhd to me and I would not give the meds... but decide that on your own but go with your gut here. Sensory Processing Disorder is very real even if there is no official diagnosis - it also follows many kids on the spectrum. My little guy is almost 7 and a sensory seeker... we use love and logic parenting with him which has worked tremendously well. Also giving the right kinds of stimulation as needed, we talk about his inside engine being high low or just right and things we can do to get it back to just right. It sounds like you need some knowledgeable people to help!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Just want to say this sounds like classic Sensory Processing Disorder symptoms - aka Sensory Integration Disorder - often ties in with autism spectrum disorders but is not officially in the DSM-IV - sounds like he is a sensory seeker and needs more stimulation... I would also look into Tourette's for the outbursts of sounds he says he can't control.

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      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Wow! You have certainly been trying every angle, and I congratulate your strength and desire to help your son and family. There are a lot of possible diagnoses he could have, and many kids have more than one. I believe that a psychiatrist has the best understanding of what medicines work best with certain symptoms. It takes several tries to find the right combination of meds. You're on the right track..keep pushing for another diagnosis if you think there is more. It does sound like his sensory issues are causing him problems, maybe the OT could set up a "sensory diet" to help him cope. Keep searching for answers...the right one is out there for you and your son.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      A tale so long to tell but I don't know what to do any more......6yrs ago god blessed me with a baby boy and a challenge. At 1yrs old Ethan was refured to early intervention because of some delays. they believed that he may have been autistic which at the time I denied. when he started walking i noticed he walked on his toes and still does today. I took him to therapy PT and OT they sayed he had sensory issues. well at the age of three we started having lots of behavior problem severe tantrums , hitting others, bitting himself and pulling his hair, Ethan is in kindergarten now and everything is much worse he hurts other children, doesn't listen, is obsessed with pokémon that is all he talks about.......you can't punish him because he laughs at you or covers his ears and screams...........he is constantly getting kicked out of school and the doctor keeps giving him meds for adhd that they r guessing he has can anyone help me?????? I don't know what to do it's tearing my family up!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Thank you for this, you are a fighter and I appreciate how well you documented everything!

      http://mamadizastre.wordpress.com/2011/06/30/b-a-d...

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      GREAT lens! Reading about Christopher was like reading about my own son. My oldest and I both have Aspergers and I post about it here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Parenting-With-Aspe... as well as work on a blog & webpage. Wonderful to connect with another family whose journey is similar to ours. VERY glad to see you find answers. Good job!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @karatepooh: Thank you! I'll keep you posted.

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      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @anonymous: I can see that you have been observing a lot of unique behaviors! As you read, I went through several steps to finally get a diagnosis. I think you need to keep seeing different specialists as long as that voice inside you says there is something else there. I was really please with the child and family Psychiatrist we found. When they insist on seeing the child and the parents for at least 3 visits, you know they are looking from every angle. One good thing that could come from putting him in a school, is the testing available to you there.

      Keep compiling information and observations....write a story about your journey through this part of your life...and take them every where you go! Your son is lucky to have someone fighting for him! And keep me up-to-date!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Vanessa, my son also memorizes entire dialogues. He'll recite them word for word at random moments. He also seems to have a lot of knowledge of things that I can not explain where he learned. If we go to the museum, he'll remember literally everything he sees or reads, yet still struggle greatly with writing...So frustrating, but at least I know that I will never have a dull moment with him.

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Where can I start looking if I believe my six year old has Asperger's? He's homeschooled, so teacher's aren't an option. He did get an evaluation from a psychologist last year when I thought about placing him in a "regular" school. The evaluation came out fine but lasted all of 45 minutes. He's pediatrician says he's fine and my family members say he's just not used to being around too many people or in a structured environment. The thing is, I can't create a routine for him no matter what; he seems to have his own. Even for bedtime, I've tried everything under the sun, yet nothing. His vocabulary and reasoning skills have been tested at two years above age level for the past three years, yet he's only now learning how to write, with great difficulty. He's completely bilingual (English and Spanish) and an independent reader in both languages yet still struggles with basic numbers and simple add and subtract. He can get to enjoy social interactions but only if he chooses/initiates them. If anybody but myself, his dad or his big sis initiates the interaction, he will act out and get upset. He also tends to get overly excited quite easily and seems to enjoy random outburst of vocalizing "weird" types of noises or sounds. When I ask him to stop and explain that it may be distracting, he replies that he "can't" but that he doesn't really know why he does it. I also noticed that as an infant he would "lull"himself to sleep by banging his head repeatedly against his pillow or mattress. As he's grown, the headbanging has been substituted by hitting himself on the leg or butt (not hard enough to injure himself, just enough to what it seems is a "release"of energy) and clapping his hands over and over in a certain rhythm. Sorry I seem to go on and on, but I'm trying not to leave anything out. As a mom, I certainly don't want my child to be "labeled" unnecessarily, but I also think he deserves an early diagnosis if needed to avoid a lot of frustration later on. We're thinking of ending the homeschooling this year, but I'm fearful of placing him in an environment that could potentially do more harm than good if they think he's a "troublemaker" rather than just somebody who learns or interacts differently.

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      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @anonymous: I'm excited for you! I hope you get your diagnosis!

      I understand your feelings during the daycare performance, the emotions that surround performances and big events can bring Autistic kids to frustration and melt down in a matter of minutes! As they get older they begin to understand what to expect and it happens less often...but Autism is a journey full of ups and downs. After diagnosis you will have more options available to help your son learn to cope with his symptoms.

      Good Luck!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @karatepooh: Hello again, just writing an update. We're going to the local children's hospital for 3-4 days next month for my son to be fully examined. I'm so relieved I can't shut up about it! Hooray!!

      There has been many setbacks and many small moments of rejoice. Our son has learned to control himself a tiny bit more, which is great, but he still keeps hitting and biting others. He still needs to be reminded of his schedule every morning and he still doesn't seem to quite grasp that he's indeed going to the daycare. "Is today a day off?", he asks innocently. No, sweetie...it's not. Neither was it yesterday nor the day before. He should know this by now, 5 days a week and God knows how many weeks (70?80?) have passed since he started at daycare. But he doesn't.

      The Christmas party at a daycare was a disaster. The children did a little dance, our son started to jump like he'd have ants in his pants and then jumped off to his friend who I guess didn't like the sudden close encounter and pushed the boy back by force. Thankfully he was okay, just a bit confused. A daycare worker escorted him back to his seat. Then the teacher of the group started talking and our son replied to her as if she was talking to him only!! I was so embarrassed and no matter what the daycare people tried to do or say to him, he wouldn't shut up. Other parents laughed, our son didn't realize anything. When we finally survived all this, he got a tantrum when I didn't give him any cake. He had already selected some cookies and I had asked him which would he prefer: cookies or cake. For some reason, he had a certain memory of me promising him BOTH...and thus it began. He screamed his lungs out, refused to stop raging, tried to hit his father when he patiently carried him away. I was so disappointed and tired, we left home. Since our son wouldn't stop yelling, my husband walked with him for two miles or so. The weather was freezing and I cried alone in the bus. We decided to skip the next celebrations since the boy doesn't really seem to care for them and only causes trouble. I wonder if he even has memories from those events..?

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      @karatepooh: Thank you so much :) good luck to you, Christopher sounds like a really amazing kid.

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      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @anonymous: I'm glad the lense helped validate behaviors...that's what I looked for all over the Internet and why I made this lense. If you are on Facebook there is a great group you should check out, http://www.facebook.com/aspergersawarenesspage

      They post a question every evening and the members can comment on it. They talk about meltdowns and other topics, and the members include parents, teachers and people with Asperger's. It great to hear ideas and experiences from all the different people.

      My son is hard to calm down too....I haven't found anything yet to stop the initial outburst/explosion. Afterwards, if we just talk about what happened he will calm down. Every child is different...I hope you find a way to help his meltdowns. And, just for you info, Christopher is in third grade now....he gets better each year! Writing is still hard for him, so the school is trying different technology to help him cope. :)

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      WOW :) I am so amazed at how much your son reminds me of mine. the way he plays with his toys, everything! even down to not having any interest in coloring! my son was diagnosed with aspergers very recently, he is in kindergarten this year and i had to pull him out of the school he was in and find a better one. he has trouble with writing but is advanced in other subjects. he is obsessed with fans, wheels, fluorescent light fixtures, squirrel cage fans, gears, anything that spins, drains, vents, where water goes, he asks me questions over and over and wants me to give the same answers, he imitates characters from his favorite movies and recites all of the lines, he has hundreds memorized. kids with aspergers are so amazing, it is very hard, but i would not want to change him. he is so unique, i love him so much. thank you for posting all of this, it has really helped validate every thing that i have seen in my son. i would really like some advice on how to help calm him during a meltdown. thank you so much!!

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      just want to say it was a wonderful article, brought me to tears. I have a 5 yr old much like yours, cute and charasmatic.we don't have a diagnosis.

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      karatepooh 5 years ago

      @anonymous: What a stroke of luck for you!! Congrats!

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      @karatepooh: Thanks for your quick reply!

      I can't believe my luck; I actually managed to meet a doctor who listened to me and suggested taking my son to a neurologist!! "I'll give her a call, she's contact you by mail later on"! I'm so happy..!

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      karatepooh 6 years ago

      @anonymous: This is why I wrote this lense! When my son was little I searched the internet for videos and descriptions of Autistic behavior in toddler and preschool age kids. I was looking for confirmation of my suspicions...did he have Autism. I have found a lot of support on the internet, especially on facebook on the "Asperger's Awareness Page". The page was started by a lady in England who has a child with Asperger's. There are over 40,000 people from all over the world, some are parents and some have Asperger's themselves. The people who participate in discussions on the page are a wealth of information and support. Maybe you can find some information about diagnosis in Europe. Please let us know how things are going....I monitor these comments, and my facebook is listed in my profile. Good Luck! Don't stop pushing for for what your child deserves!

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      Thank you for sharing this, how brave! I'm thinking of Aspergers when I look at my 4 year-old; he does the "dance" when excited (and gets easily excited, oh boy..), has a hard time being around other kids (he just goes to them and calmly hits someone, without a reason- he can't give you one, either!!) and is obsessed about busses and their schedules. Every time we take the bus, he needs to see next stop and what busses stop there; "here stop numbers x, xx and xxx". Once I made a remark about having many busses in that area. Now he says the same thing each and every time when being in that place I said it...

      My son is brilliant academically; he can name any color (even shades like "champagne"), has a textbook meant for kids 2 years older, he can talk to an adult like an another adult. But...to me it just isn't real. His tone seems a bit tense and he speaks in a funny way...very vivid in some way I guess, but...his notes go way too high and words seem like he has practised them many times. When you listen to him speaking, you might think "wow...looks like someone has tried to educate that poor little guy way too much and now he can't stop telling others everything he knows". Not true!

      The biggest problem is in the kindergarten where he goes to. He's in a small group, meant for children with trouble in some area of their development, but he has no diagnosis. "He's still just a child", they say. The doctors look at him: a smiling, brilliant young man who gives kisses to a baby doll and tucks it into bed...how could he beat up others, bite his nails 'till they get infected, scream his lungs out during lunch, try to be right at everything and having so much trouble moving from one activity to another that his mother (me) cries at night just from tiredness? Yeah..how. That's what I'd like to know as well.

      When he was a baby, he was quite happy and slept well even in the hospital. He started to walk at 8 months old, before this he was crawling only with other side and always wanting to move by himself. He didn't care for being carried nor sleeping during daytime. When he was in my arms, he would push himself to an arms' range and look around.

      If anyone wants to comment any of my writing, please do so. I live in northern Europe and the doctors here do not give diagnosis easily. Please...write back, someone? Please?

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      Thank you so much for sharing your story! My son is 4 1/2 and has just been diagnosed with Asperger's in the past 2 months. It was a long road to get to where we are today; but so refreshing to know that there are other mom's out there who know what this is like. I, like you, have worked in child care for several years and saw early signs but wasn't sure until he made it to preschool. We have been blessed with a preschool that is very understanding and works with him very well. He will be in Pre-K next year and it makes me nervous to send him to Kindergarten the year after that; but your story has greatly encouraged me. Thank you again for your openness!

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      Udderlygoodstuff 6 years ago

      This is an amazing timeline you have put down on paper...errr.... webpage for all to read and learn. My son got early intervention for his issues but still have not gotten the Asperger's diagnosis, just PDD-NOS. They said he was too social. But like your son he is charismatic, loving and very verbal... things that people seem to think don't equate to autism.

      My Noah has fine motor and gross motor delays and dyspraxia... he compensates well by using his very high cognitive skills to find ways around his deficits.

      Wow it really struck when you talked about having trouble playing with others because they don't do it right! It's the number one fight Noah and his sister have over things, she plays like a non-autistic 4 yr old... very frustrating for Noah... but it is a great place for us to help him with his skills for school.

      My little guy is graduating kindergarten in a couple weeks... it's a scary yet exciting time! But I know these kids are so capable of great things and great futures when they get the support and help they need early.

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      i hope to find some answers for my little maddy someday soon, it is nice to hear someone elses story & know that i am not alone.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Wow, I can relate to a lot of the things you've written here. My 4-year-old son is getting his first ADOS next week at an autism clinic, but the social worker who interviewed us is pretty sure he's "on the spectrum". I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets tired of hearing "it's just a phase" or "he can't have autism because..." I'd love for you to visit the blog of our family's journey. It's at myaspieboy [dot] tumblr [dot] com. I hope you can stop by sometime.

    • UKGhostwriter profile image

      UKGhostwriter 6 years ago

      Well done great lens!

    • nenierhea profile image

      nenierhea 6 years ago

      I'm happy to know that you get into early intervention. For parents like you, you did a great job. You may also visit my lens about autism treatment.

    • MargoPArrowsmith profile image

      MargoPArrowsmith 6 years ago

      Squidoo Angel blessed and certainly angel blessed

    • sidther lm profile image

      sidther lm 6 years ago

      Great lens! Thank you for viewing and expressing the quirks as what makes Spectrum kids special! He will do well with such support!

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      dellgirl 6 years ago

      Your lens is inspiring, just what I need right now. Thank you for taking the time to write and publish such an informative and helpful lens.

      5 stars to you for such a valuable lens. I'm favoriting, and lensrolling you to my "Vasa Previa Is Diagnosable" (health) lens and also to my "Friends Are Angels In disguise" lens.

    • PaulaMorgan profile image

      Paula Morgan 6 years ago from Sydney Australia

      I have worked with a woman in her 20s with aspergers and was amazed at how well she coped and how capable she was... So many people know so little about this condition you are done a wonderful job sharing your story with us

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      Thanks so much for sharing your story. My wife and I sometimes feel alone with our struggles. Our aspie son cried constantly as a baby, but as soon as he could crawl he stopped. Then, at the age of 2, the tantrums and meltdowns began. We'd hang a picture on the wall and he'd have a complete fit and tell us to take it down. Discovering that he had Asperger's was a real blessing because suddenly everything made sense, and know we know that he isn't just trying to be difficult. Also, we can focus on the good things, like his ability to learn. Anyway, school starts tomorrow and we're hoping to get out the door tantrum free; we'll just have to get shirts with no stripes, and take the "usual" route to school. We've learned a few things about preventing aspergers tantrums which I've shared on my blog, but following my own advice during a tantrum isn't always easy. We're praying for a good first day of school. Great lens, thanks for sharing it!

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      Thank you so much for writing this. I am an art teacher and have a student with AS. I came to this site to find out how to help him better in the classroom. Blessings to you and Christopher!

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      I watched your sons "Easter Dance". I am currently sitting here crying because it was like watching my four year old son. The sad thing is I feel like I am the only one who sees it (my husband doesn't want to hear it, that something may be wrong) because my son is "cute and charismatic" too! There are some deeper clues to my suspicions that he has aspergers and am about to embarq on the journy of finding out which apparently takes a long time. I know for sure that he has Sensory Processing Disorder. I have seen the behaviors that you have spoken of in my own son, to varying degrees of course. But you have given me the courage to ensure that my son can lead a full and successful life. Thank You

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      Thank you for educating so many with your beautiful story. Im pushing to get my boy diagnosed with Aspergers and he has most of your boys behaviours. I will do it eventually but alas not without a fight as seems to be the case for so many parents. When will these professionals realise that a parent is acutely aware of when something is not right with their child and take us more seriously - take care, Ingrid

    • LakeMom profile image

      LakeMom 7 years ago

      Congrats on LOTD! You have done an excellent job detailing your experience with Aspergers. I suspect that my middle daughter has Aspergers (she's in middle school). I have tried to get testing for her, but it the school was reluctant to get her the testing ("you don't want to label her"). Your dedication to your son to get the proper diagnosis is inspiring. Thanks for writing a beautiful lens. Good luck!

    • Kylyssa profile image

      Kylyssa Shay 7 years ago from Overlooking a meadow near Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA

      @PattB LM: They are removing the word Asperger's from the new DVSM because Asperger's is autism, just a particular flavor of it you might say. When I was diagnosed, my psychologist was already using the words interchangeably.

    • AndyDad LM profile image

      Andrew Scott 7 years ago from New Zealand

      About the best LOTD I have seen. Well done and congratulations. Christopher seems a lovely child and is lucky to have such a committed Mother. Gives me a new perspective on my own parenting problems and frustrations.

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      Light-in-me 7 years ago

      Hello, I learned a lot today that I really never understood before. Thanks for sharing and congratulations on LOTD. You did a great job with this lens!

      Take care,

      Robin

    • KathyMcGraw2 profile image

      Kathy McGraw 7 years ago from California

      Parents have a hard job when it comes to special needs children and the educational system. I did the exact oppostite of what you did...I took mine out of special ed, and got an administrative placement into regular classes. For the first time he actually fit in with other kids, and blossomed academically. The teacher and I worked hand in hand, and we watched his self esteem grow as well. This was a foster child that had been in special ed since kindergarten, and I empathize with you as it can be rough. Blessed by an Angel.

    • karatepooh profile image
      Author

      karatepooh 7 years ago

      Thank you all for the wonderful messages and stories you've shared here! Sometimes it means so much just to know you are not alone in your struggles. I am so thankful that this lens was picked as "Lens of the Day"...that means so many more people can feel like they are not alone, and keep pushing for what their family needs to be happy and successful. Thanks again....I am humbled at the response!

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      successsavingsshopping 7 years ago

      Congratulations for educating every body on Aspergers and lense of the day. As a mother of two Aspergers children Christopher is an inspiration to us all.

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      Floorsander 7 years ago

      Excellent information. My best friend's grandson has been diagnosed with Aspergers, and the boy is just precious in every way. Thanks for adding to my understanding.

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      Thanks for this lens. I did not know about Asperger's. The lens is detailed. I love your analysis, the road you took with your son, the love and the commitment through and through. Honestly, your lens deserve to be the lens of the day.

    • davemin profile image

      davemin 7 years ago

      a wonderful lens my son will be 14 this year and in his second year of high school in a special transition class,having him diagnosed when he was smaller meant that he got the help that he needed, its not always easy but he is such a beautiful boy, might take a bit longer to do things some times but we get there.

    • KimGiancaterino profile image

      KimGiancaterino 7 years ago

      Congratulations on Lens of the Day. Christopher is a beautiful child.

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      lagoamedia 7 years ago

      Great lens. Congrats on getting featured as lens of the day. I feel closer to god when I am around special needs people. You are blessed.

    • justholidays profile image

      justholidays 7 years ago

      Congratulations on your LOTD!

      Blessed by a SquidAngel.

    • evelynsaenz1 profile image

      Evelyn Saenz 7 years ago from Royalton

      Thank you so much for talking about your experience with Aspergers. Your son sounds like a wonderful little boy and so lucky to have such a loving Mom to help him with the challenges of this syndrome.

      Congratulations on LOTD!

    • walclan profile image

      walclan 7 years ago

      Great lens, 5 stars. I'm so glad that he was diagnosed early, so many are missed and don't find out until they are well into their adult years.

    • kristyrodecker lm profile image

      kristyrodecker lm 7 years ago

      What a wonderful lens. Thank you so much for sharing and congrats.

    • Lee Hansen profile image

      Lee Hansen 7 years ago from Vermont

      Thank you for sharing Christopher's story. I don't know much about Autism Spectrum but I recognize similarities to behaviors from my extended family and it makes me wonder. More importantly, though, I see a delightful child with special challenges who has a caring, loving family helping him thrive and grow in the ways that work for him. Congrats to you on a compelling LOTD. Looking forward to more of your lenses.

    • dnyren lm profile image

      dnyren lm 7 years ago

      In depth easy-to-use Asperger's characteristics checklist printable for children & teens separated by Social Interactions, Language Skills, Interests/Routines/Order, Motor Skills, Cognitive Issues, Sensory Sensitivities -> http://school.familyeducation.com/learning-disabil...

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      Guided Abundance 7 years ago from Mobile, AL

      Great lens, congratulations.

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      Thank you for sharing about your little professor

    • PattB LM profile image

      PattB LM 7 years ago

      Wonderful lens! My nephew has autism and is high functioning. But I don't understand where autism stops and aspergers begins, as I recognize a lot of his behaviors in your son.

      The HBO video about Temple Grandin, who is autistic and now in her sixties, was a real eye opener. I highly recommend it.

      Thanks for sharing your story, and congrats on LotD! Best wishes,

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      Mart903 7 years ago

      Great lens! Congratulations on a well deserved Lens of the Day! 5 stars

    • NanLT profile image

      Nan 7 years ago from London, UK

      I've lensrolled this to Understanding Anger in ASD children

    • OhMe profile image

      Nancy Tate Hellams 7 years ago from Pendleton, SC

      Christopher is a beautiful child and you have done a remarkable job of telling your story of Aspergers. Congratulations on LotD. I am looking forward to reading more lenses by you.

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      kReAtiV 7 years ago

      Great lens, congratulations o LotD!

    • NanLT profile image

      Nan 7 years ago from London, UK

      Many congrats on getting LOTD. I too can empathise and relate as my boys all have varying degrees of Asperger's Syndrome.

    • Gamganny profile image

      Gamganny 7 years ago

      Great lens, lots of helpful information. Congrats on LotD!!

    • profile image

      kimmanleyort 7 years ago

      Wonderful, personal story. Congratulations on LOTD!

    • profile image

      purplelilydesign 7 years ago

      Wow! This is a fascinating page, my first ever Squidoo page too, no wonder its LOTD! :-)

    • verymary profile image

      Mary 7 years ago from Chicago area

      I'm a little confused about the diff. between OCD and Asperger's obsessions, but this is a wonderful lens. Congrats on LoTD and thanks for sharing this story!

    • Faye Rutledge profile image

      Faye Rutledge 7 years ago from Concord VA

      Thanks for sharing this story. Beautiful lens. Congratulations on LotD!!

    • MsSnow4 profile image

      Carol Goss 7 years ago

      Wonderful story, My youngest was diagnosed with aspergers at age 7. I would not believe he had autism till they told me he had aspergers. He is now almost 23 and doing wonderfully. Thanks for sharing your story.