Parents who realise the value of a child will ensure their future is secure and their self esteem is tops. Many, however, struggle to know what's best as the first child arrives. The learning curve is huge. How to care for this tiny, totally dependent little bundle? What's the best food, how to discipline, the best guide for its young mind and maintaining its health?
This is a series of lenses on this subject that may help new parents overcome some of the problems presented in the first few years of their child's life. Believe me you will learn more from your children in their formative years than you ever dreamed and the love and return will outweigh the cost and effort put into their being.
The First Baby
Don't Drop It
Although a late mother with plenty of babies in the family this one was different. It was a hundred times more precious, a thousand times more vulnerable and the bonding and love was beyond belief. Here was my son and now I was a mum. His stars said on that day "you will emerge like a spring butterfly." He looked gorgeous and the bonding was instant. At first I did not see him as he was whisked out and away before it was possible to see what he was like.
Later I walked around the hospital until I saw a baby in a nursery and the recognition was instant. He was screaming and my heart ached. This was my child and he was in pain. Where was the nurse, why wasn't someone there to care for him? These questions raced through my brain as I made my way back to my room.
When we arrived home he was quite unsettled and very tiny, Just four pounds three ounces. So why did he cry? Why did he scream? Was my milk OK? did he need something I was not aware of? The doubts, the thoughts the questions never stopped.
Now as a grandmother looking back over those early years of motherhood there is much I can do to help young mothers and to pass on my experience. That's why I created this series of lenses. Hope they help if this is your lot. Eventually the screaming and crying stopped as he gained weight and we bonded all the more. At first my fear was that I would drop him but over time that passed as well.
Do Men Understand Babies?
In my motherhood days Dr Spock was all the go. See what you think?
What Goes In By Age 7 Stays
The Formative Years
Parents may not realise that everything you do in front of your children stays with them for life. How often do you reflect on your early years through a smell, a certain type of wind, a plant, an incident in the kitchen, or a hundred and one other examples that bring a rush of memory of adults in your early life. They are little sponges soaking up everything they see and hear. This is the way nature provides for their later years.
You may see your parent acting out the very thing you are doing and even hear his or her voice guiding you or encouraging your interest. That reinforces the notion that we never forget what we learned in those formative years. My problem was that he could have learned so much more if only I had the skills to teach him. Now, of course, there are a lot of educating devices for babies and they are very helpful.
Parents who turn to drugs or have habits not becoming as an example to their child should think about what they are doing. The love between you and you child is there for life unless you destroy it. It won't be your child who will break from you first unless you cast them aside. That's why I did a special lens on child abuse.
Still images from Dreamstime - click here
© 2010 norma-holt