ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Never Give Up - on Your Kid

Updated on October 1, 2012
IS1820 profile image

Married and father of three children. Masters degree in Zoology. Over twenty years of experience in sales and marketing. Writes and paints.

"Never Give Up" on your child. Be there, stay the distance and fight to achieve the goal of a good young adult, no matter how hard it gets.

As parents we are responsible for our children, legally until they are of age, but actually sort of all our lives. But it’s not the legal responsibility that we all should be aware of. It’s the responsibility of bringing up and educating our children and making the distance in having them turn out as good, responsible young adults.

In a nutshell - it’s a job in the factory of turning out a good person. Easy to say, but it is not always easy to achieve. The factors going into reaching this goal are many and very different from person to person. Yes, person to person - the child is a person, and so is the parent.

There will of course be common factors such as setting limits and rules (see Hub on “Children’s Freedom of Choice”, but even there the set of rules will differ based on the child, the parents and the social environment.

One definitive common factor for success in achieving this goal is - “Never Give Up”. The easiest path is of course “Give Up”, especially when it gets tough. Parents who have been there know what I am talking about.

Usually it’s about teenagers who are rebelling or just plain and simple behaving terribly. Teenagers, and even some children younger than them, can begin behaving as if there is no tomorrow and that they can do as they please, when they please and even with whom they please. Not all children behave and become rebels and many just sail through into adulthood without causing parents too much stress.

This hub addresses those that don’t and this is when we as adults and parents have to gather all our strength and wits together in order not to lose the child.

It is important that as parents you remain focused on the target which is definitely not “chaining down your child and putting him or her in a jail”. It is about awareness, setting boundaries, understanding, and knowing at all times where your child is and what they are doing.

This is not easy but, it can be done and has been by many. Those that persevere are more than rewarded after the long tedious journey.

Lets go through some of what I feel we need to do:

(The points below are just a simplified summary, in a nut shell of what and how we as parents need to act)

  1. Awareness - be aware of who and what your child is. Jnow him or her. Know their likes and dislikes and remember they are individuals and not your clone. Know who their friends are, who they hang out with at school, see in the afternoon or evening. Follow what happens in school - academically and socially. Be involved.

Knowing is the first and foremost source of being able to act.Be aware of all that happens at school.If for example the friends are criminally inclined, have negative influence or total dropouts that want to bring your child down - break the ties. But, check before you act. Do not just make assumptions that the company your child is with is negative. Accept any friend if they are positive and encourage such relations. If your child is harassed at school or is the one harassing, go there and put a stop to whatever is happening. It’s not easy, but possible and it’s your responsibility

  1. Setting Boundaries - this subject was approached in another hub. With a rebellious child the boundaries are critical. Yet they must not be too strict for this may cause the opposite - more rebellion. They are important - for example -“be back at a certain time”, “do not go to a certain place”, “tell me where you are going and call me when you get there” etc. If you set the boundary - keep it - if a child does not return for example at the designated time, or disappears and is not where they said they would - go and get them. Yes, even if this is not at a convenient time don’t hesitate.

Go and get the kid.

They need to know that if they stray out of line, you the parent, have the strength , will and more than that , you care enough, to act. But you need to make sure that your actions are balanced and the child has freedom of choice and decisions within the boundaries.

  1. Understanding - listen to them. Hear what they say, absorb it and then decide what needs to be done. Watch them, see them. Most are good inside, just going wild. Do not always act extremely when they use foul language, this is the dark ages at home, and sometimes this letting off steam in the house is better than they go out and explode somewhere uncontrolled. When they are done, talk to them and punish them if necessary (ground them, don’t give pocket money, or stop driving them anywhere take away their TV, Laptop or Ipad). Make them understand that such behavior is intolerable and can be punished if you as a parent so decide.

This, when said and acted upon, is necessary for their understanding that you are the parent and that you control. By acting you are also conveying another message - “I am your parent and I will always be there for you, I will not give up, whatever you say or do.”

As said above it doesn’t mean that every time something is said we begin punishing. Each child needs to have a limit. This is part of understanding who, what and when it is necessary. But, ignoring can only be sometimes, and not most of the time.

  1. Know where they are and what they are doing at all times. Well as much as possible. It is important that you are involved in their social lives and meet their friends. Just letting them go out without knowing who they are meeting and where is not wise. Develop a network by having friend’s mobile numbers. This is useful if they disappear and are not where they say they are. It is not spying, but a fifteen year old for example is vulnerable. They think or rather they are sure, they are invincible. You are their guardian and it is your job to see that they do not do something foolish. As I wrote above, do not hesitate to go and look for them, even in the middle of the night, and bring them home. Be there always.

It’s not easy when you have a rebellious kid. It’s time and energy draining. It’s a time where you do not really know what to do, what boundaries will be the best and what actions need to be take. Use common sense, listen to others who have been there, hear and see your child and then act. Do not just let the days go by.

It’s a period of turmoil for the child, the parents and even for the brothers and sisters.

Don’t give up and always do and be there for in the end when they become young adults the efforts you make will show their fruits.

Nothing is more than rewarding than being able to look and say - We did a good job and we are proud of our children and who as persons, they turned out to be.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • IS1820 profile imageAUTHOR

      Ian Susman 

      6 years ago

      Thanks Teaches for your comment. It certainly is worth the time and effort not to mention our responsibility as parents. Thanks again

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      Wonderful advice on how to raise a child with positive love and nurturing. I agree, never give up. It is so worth the time, effort, sacrifice and money to raise your child. Blessings.

    • IS1820 profile imageAUTHOR

      Ian Susman 

      6 years ago

      Thanks Shining for stopping by. Sometimes parents do not stick the mile and just give up along the way. It's not always easy with kids, but if one is insistent in being there and not giving in , the rewarsd when they grow up are tremendous. Thanks again for your comments and sharing.

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 

      6 years ago from Upstate, New York

      I commend you for such an informative, well written hub. Although I was not blessed with children, it warms my heart when I come in contact with someone such as your self who sincerely takes the time to nurture those around them.

      Fantastic hub and I am sharing.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)