Let's Talk About Sex Baby !
Knowledge is Your Best Friend
This is the day that all parents dread coming. The day we realize our children are growing up and need to learn about certain aspects of life. Trust me no parent wants this day to come but it does. Your best approach is to be ready. Research ways to approach your child about the subject.Know all the latest information regarding strangers and set up a safe word just in case someone has to pick up your child that they do not know. Pay attention to details about your child, this will give you a big insight into what they feel comfortable with.
Many parents have found it to be helpful by discussing it with friends or family members that have already been through this situation. That doesn't mean you have to do it exactly the same way but gather information from different people and form your own approach. Keep in mind that all children are different so tailor your idea to fit you and your child.
Get Involved With Your Child
Pointers Before the Big Conversation
Age Appropriate Research
Use age-appropriate content. All small children should learn about stranger danger. Even if you are not ready to fully discussion everything, teach them about strangers and places they should not be touched. Our world is not the safest place for small children no matter where you live. There are too many twisted people in the world that prey on small untaught children.
Preteens are just starting to go through many changes with their bodies which we all know will affect their mood. So keep that in mind when approaching the subject because they may have already started noticing things about themselves.
Teenagers Learn Quick
The world as a whole is very stressful for teenagers. They have peer pressure coming out their ears. As a parent, we need to face the fact that many teenagers start having sex young. We can't force them to not have sex so your best defense is knowledge. Make sure they understand that pregnancy is not the only thing that can happen. Birth control is not 100% guaranteed no matter what you do.
Abstinence is the only guaranteed way to not get some type of sexually transmitted disease or pregnant. There is nothing we can do as a parent to prevent our teenagers from having sex but we can inform them and let them know the benefits of not giving into peer pressure.
Make sure your teenager knows they can come to you anytime and discuss anything they need to. Communication and observation is the only way to keep our children on the right track.
Let Your Child Talk With You About Anything
Use All Your Resources
It may seem old-fashioned and impersonal but sometimes necessary. There are several places you can find free literature to help talk about sex with your child. Many health departments are more than glad to give you lots of pamphlets to discuss things.
Leaving a book about having sex or not having sex in their room and letting them know you are available for any questions, might be a really good idea.
Parents With Teenagers
Don't be afraid to ask for help. Children do not come with instructions and all parents need help at some point in time. You can talk to your child's doctor, librarian, and even a health department counselor. You may have to think outside the box depending on where you live but there is always someone who can help. If you are having trouble thinking of someone, ask your child's school counselor for advice. They are not only there for the kids, they can also help point parents in the right direction.
If you are planning to talk to your teenager then visit their doctor's office. Make sure you have all the picture literature they have to show your child what a sexually transmitted disease looks like. Teenagers have the highest percentage of sexually transmitted disease patients in the US. I have gone through this with four teenagers so far and trust me, them seeing what this can look like and do to them definitely made an impact on their idea of sex. I was very fortunate that only one of my daughters had a child under 20 years old.
Use your imagination on how to detour your child from thinking having sex at a young age is a good idea. If you have a teenager you already know just trying to force the issue does not work. Encourage them that either having a baby or a sexually transmitted disease can alter their dreams they may have for the future.
Waiting is Worth It...
Think About All Your Options
Do your best to help your child understand that following the crowd is not always that popular. Peer pressure can sometimes be very overwhelming. Make sure that your child knows that they can come talk to you about anything at any time they need to.
Purity or Abstinence Pledge?
Many people think they are the same but they are not. Anyone can take an abstinence pledge but a purity pledge is a daily commitment.
The abstinent pledge is a promise to not have sex before getting married. It is not a hard promise to keep and only applied to actually having sexual intercourse with another person.
The purity promise is a total lifestyle commitment. It does not only apply to sex, it is a daily lifestyle decision. It means that you are committing your whole heart to staying pure in every aspect of your daily living. A purity commitment is a heart decision not about only what happens with your body.
If All Else Fails
As parents all we can do is offer our kids guidance, we can't force them to not have sex. If the other options don't seem to be what your child is interested then it may be time to discuss pregnancy prevention. There are many options and discussing it openly with you and their doctor is probably your better bet. Your child's doctor will be up on all the latest birth control methods and can advise your child what is best for them.