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Parenting Teenagers

Updated on December 28, 2014

Got Teenager Trouble?

Is your teenager driving you nuts? Did you have good parenting skills til your kid hit the teen years, and then found yourself on shaky ground? Read on, for you are not alone in the battle of parenting teenagers.

Support for parents of teens is a HUGE need, one not very well met by our society in the USA. The 'answers' are as complicated as the teens themselves. This was created for the weary parents of teens. Support is offered in a gesture that includes both humor and compassion for those challenged with parenting teenagers.

Teenager Poll - Usually the issues are a broad mix, but which would you consider to be the biggest issue when faced with raising teenagers?

What's the primary biggest issue with teenagers today?

See results

Got a Teenager Bringing Tears?

Parenting teenagers is TOUGH!

Teenagers can wreak such havoc on their family. Maybe you know of a teenager who has moved you to tears. I often wonder why there aren't support groups for parents of teens on every street corner. These families need support desperately. Maybe even a 12-step program... you know like AA? If alcoholics can get so much support, then WHY not parents of teens? Teenager Parent Anonymous - why NOT? Parents of teenagers need a serenity prayer too, for crying out loud.

Dear Teenagers - When I was your age...
Dear Teenagers - When I was your age...

What do you think about this dad's reaction to his teenage daughter?

See results

Poll: The Teenager, the Dad & Facebook? - Hear about the dad in Texas who shot holes in his daughter's laptop?

The controversial video that went viral has now been removed from YouTube, and maybe that's a good thing.

Here's the story: A young teenage girl in Texas posted some very negative stuff on facebook about her parent. Dad found it and was furious!

So then dad posted a video on facebook about her, discussed his perspectives about her lies and behavior, and then at the end of the video he laid her laptop on the ground, grabbed a gun and shot holes into it!

What's your take about this parent's behavior? Once you vote you can also comment if you like. If that were your teenager who did that, what might be your response?

teenagers
teenagers

The Nightmare of Teenagers

While we may crack jokes about it, there really is nothing at funny about these behaviors.

Teenagers camping out in your home posing as terrorists? Maybe hiding out in their room? Maybe the same room the was once decorated with Thomas the Tank Engine or Tinkerbell? Remember THAT? Who'd have thought back in those sweet days that our lives would be so transformed?

Teenage Terrorists are secretive, surly and sneaky. They will ONLY 'communicate' with other teen terrorists, usually by text or secret facebook accounts. They'll eat you out of house and home, fill your airwaves with roars of crazed music vibes, and expect you to be their personal ATM machine. Maybe they've expressed opinions that felt 'entitled' beyond belief! In many cases, they are bigger and stronger than you. They sometimes behave as if you have never loved them, and then ... they move out!

Serious Support for Parents of Teenagers - Is some kind of intervention called for?

Many families found valuable support in dealing with troubled teens at the links below.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens: The Ultimate Teenage Success Guide
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens: The Ultimate Teenage Success Guide

Similar to the similar title written by his dad, Stephen Covey's son Sean writes in his own unique style. That style includes cartoons, clever ideas, quotes, and amazing stories about real teens from all over the world. Open this book to any page and become instantly absorbed. Step-by-step guides to shifting paradigms, building "relationship bank accounts," creating action plans, and many real life stories of teens overcoming obstacles.

 

"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" - Book written by the teenage son of Stephen Covey

Comments about this book about teenagers, written by a teenager:

*"A true gift for the teenage soul." -- Jack Canfield, author

*"An intensive training program for youth to grow and become winners in the competition of life." --Kristi Yamaguchi, U.S. Olympic Gold Medalist

*"Unlike my book on the 7 Habits, this book by my son Sean speaks directly to teens in an entertaining and visually appealing style (and Sean, I never thought you listened to a word I said). As prejudiced as this may sound, this is a remarkable book, a must-read! --Stephen R. Covey author of The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People

*"This book is a touchdown." --Steve Young, Quarterback, San Francisco 49'ers

One couple found a good local

support group for parents of

troubled teens.

The dad calls the group...

AA for Abused Parents

Your Method of Dealing with Teenagers?

stay calm
stay calm
teenagers
teenagers

Yelling at Teenagers

...does more harm than good.

Teenagers tend to get on our last nerve, so temper explosions now and then are understandable. Just know that whenever a parent gives in and yells, a mistake has been made. Forgive yourself quickly, stay calm and carry on.

Try this...seriously. Lean in really close and WHISPER! Then walk away quietly. This strategy may not change your world overnight, but WILL me much more effective than yelling ever could be.

"I've told my kids that every time I give them something that I didn't have, I take away from them something that I did have. Every time we prevent some challenge from coming in front of the people that we love, we prevent them from learning from those challenges. We should be very careful about how we use the influence in our lives to make life too easy for those around us."

— Doctor OZ

What's YOUR best method for dealing with teen terrorists?

See results

POLL: Teenager Terrorists...Concern Level?

What is your view of teenagers these days?

Why worry about typical teen behavior? They'll grow out of it.

Why worry about typical teen behavior? They'll grow out of it.

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    • myraggededge 5 years ago

      There are several aspects that I observe. One is, in the UK, we don't value our teens as much as we should. My own mother would complain about them as they dropped by the corner store where she worked. In herds they are intimidating it's true, but they are humans just like the rest of us. It would be lovely if we paid more attention to them and gave them some kind of mid-teen ritual to celebrate their life-progress. I don't mean a birthday party but something with some gravitas that confers responsibility. Another aspect is that, as a mother of 13 & 10 yr olds, I realise I have turned into my own mother as I try to get my kids to engage in some activity or even to get their home-schooled arses out of bed in the morning! I am consoled by the fact that I also have a 29 year old who turned out all right in the end despite the tribulations of teen-hood, long lie-ins and 4 hour baths :-)

    • anonymous 5 years ago

      I'm not sure I'd say they are a serious problem, but I thought I had a clue as to be a parent until my daughter turned fourteen. Now, everything I say offends her. I'm hoping for the grow out of it, because sometimes I just don't know what to do.

    • BusyMOM LM 5 years ago

      They may grow out of it, but that does not absolve us parents from helping them along the right path to adulthood. We are their guides.

    • MargoPArrowsmith 6 years ago

      There are so many more dangers today. When my daughter got caught 'pool hopping' in the neighbors' pools one night, I punished her, but smiled inside because it was just typical teen stuff and would pass. Its so much worse today.

    • Carolan Ross 7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      The trick here is to define what is 'typical' since some level of behaviors like withdrawal, moodiness, and occasional surly remarks and/or defiance or demands for independence ...all could be considered typical for teens. When these behaviors happen now and then, we might call that 'typical teens' while a daily dose of such is a red flag of serious trouble. Even experimenting with drugs/alcohol might be considered typical for teens, yet there's a HUGE difference between experimenting and dependency.

    Teenagers in general are a SERIOUS problem.

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      • Carolan Ross 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

        Some agree that teens are a concern, yet blame the parents. True in some cases, definitely NOT in others. Some parents are very caring & attentive yet firm - yet are still faced with major angst from their teens. Blame doesn't solve the problem anyway, and I feel for those parents who have devoted huge chunks of their life to their kids and done an amazing job as parents and yet face such nasty teenager behaviors. Sad.

      • anonymous 4 years ago

        What a crazy world to try to grow up "normal" in, parenting seems to have fallen aside and children as well as teen are losing, there is room for great concern. But then there are young people of excellence as well and those that are teenager terrorists could be steps away from excellence.

      • JimDickens 5 years ago

        Problem with the options here. Teens are no different now than they ever were -- including us. The problem is that the parents today cave to their demands at worse and fail to be consistent in rules and boundaries at best. Teens are not the problem. Parents are.

      • anonymous 5 years ago

        i don't like all the older boys chasing the younger girls cos they say all the girls my age are pregos or sluts. if the dam older boys had left them alone when they were younger they wouldn't be pregnant or sluts now. young girls believe their crap and get really stupid and then they become pregnant sluts....it's a vicious circle. Teenage boys and girls should be segregated or sedated.

      • anonymous 5 years ago

        I do agree that teenagers today are a serious problem and I base that on the fact that I have a big age gap between my eldest and yoiungest, so I have been parenting teens a lot longer than most people and I can compare what they are like now and when my eldest first became a teen in 1990.

        However, while the teens may be the problem, the cause is the adults. The adults who do not have the time to do a proper job of parenting. The adults who form the Governments that make the failed policies so mothers work, not out of choice, but out of desperation because they need to contribute to the family finances. I think you can guess I could write a heck of a lot here :)

        I work from home, but I still struggle with my teens because of the influences from outside the home. We try to establish certain standards of behaviour, but we find ourselves constantly undermined because other parents and yes, teachers too, can't be bothered to insist on the same standards.

      • Frischy 5 years ago from Kentucky, USA

        My primary concern is when I look at young adults (people in their twenties), the children of my friends, I see that such a large number of them are not equipped for life. I want my children to be ready when it is time for them to launch, yet there is a huge force working against parents these days. It is very difficult to impart the skills and character strengths that young people need to make their way in the world today, and it seems parents who try to lay down the law to ensure this happens are often vilified. It is very difficult.

      • sheriangell 7 years ago

        I think raising teens in today's world is a job to be taken very seriously. It's no longer an easy world to navigate and the old parental philosophy of "they need to find out for themselves" or "they'll grow out of it" can be a recipe for disaster or worse.

      • Rhonda Albom 7 years ago from New Zealand

        The world is changing and the problems teenagers face today seem to have much more dramatic, life altering consequences than when we were rebellious teens. With the advent of the internet, the world has become very scary for teens, only so many seem to arrogant to notice.

      • Carolan Ross 7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

        Teens pose a serious issue far beyond 'typical' and they and their parents need support. Parenting is certainly critical, and parents of teens need to reconsider priorities and strategies. Yet many who care deeply and have done a good job raising their teens (not perfect yet who IS?) are severely challenged.

      teenagers
      teenagers

      Why Such Teenager Rebellion?

      Why do teenagers act OUT?

      Our society has created a world dripping with sex, drugs, and violence - and we have plunked our temporarily insane children right smack in the middle of it. We tend to treat our teens as though they can handle it, and on the surface that's how they'll act - like they CAN handle it with a 'leave me alone' attitude.

      Yet teens left on their own as small adults will not only make serious mistakes, but also can become very depressed and angry. The greatly increased exposure to these influences (sex, drugs, violence, immorality, etc.) on television, at home, in school, and with friends is apparent. Teenagers have a much more toxic environment than they can handle.

      Dysfunction at home of many kinds often adds to that toxic environment, such as: overly permissive parent(s), divorce/broken home, parents who 'buy' affection, and parents who are unable or unwilling to be firm nor consistent with teen, to provide supervision or even to require basic self-responsibility or contributions to the household where the teen lives.

      The result? Teens who feel entitled, who are selfish and uncaring, disrespectful and even abusive in some cases.

      Yes, Your Teen is Crazy! - a different perspective...

      Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind
      Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind

      If your teenager had a serious case of the flu, you would most likely be sympathetic. Yet when the same teenager acts in ways you disagree with, are you inclined to be unsympathetic and challenging? Dr. Bradley suggests in this intriguing book that teen behavior can actually be similar to mental illness and offers support for parents to help them through the madness, without losing their own sanity.

       

      Teenagers and Mental Illness

      Is your teen mentally ill?

      In some cases, teenagers do have a diagnosed mental illness, such as depression or even bipolar or psychizophrenia or ODD (Opposition Defiance Disorder). Yet teens without any of those conditions will often exhibit behaviors that indicate they might be at the very least, delusional. This makes what we'd consider to be normal communication with them to be nearly impossible...and also absolutely maddening!

      Let's say that you had a job in a psych ward, and a paranoid schizophrenic came up to you one day and said something like maybe, "God has spoken to me and said I should ...teach the world the benefits of illegal drugs...run through Central Park naked?".....or whatever.

      You'd likely roll your eyes and smile. Would you blame yourself? Take it personally? Anguish over these crazy statements? NO, of course not. You'd consider the source, ie. this person is a paranoid schizophrenic, therefore not surprising to that known state of mind of being mentally OFF. Yet when our teenagers act out in ways that are totally irrational...many of us then tend to wonder 'where did I go wrong?'

      What if you reacted in a very aloof and impersonal manner, and simply reminded this teenager about the consequences of such behaviors? Consider reacting more in the role of 'consultant' than in the role of 'parent'. In the big picture, when we KNOW that we have done way more right than wrong, that we're lost in trying to play armchair psychiatrist in the WHY of these crazy behaviors...then we STOP! Refuse to engage in personal feeling, only consequences... and also you might consider reading the book below.

      "I wish to be only half as smart as my child thought I was when he was small,

      and half as stupid as my teenager thinks I am now."

      — YOU?
      teenagers
      teenagers

      The Teenager, the Hip Grandpa and the Peacock

      Funny true story... the teenager and the old man.

      One day I took my dad to the mall to buy some new shoes (he is 66). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors - green, red, orange, and blue.

      My dad kept staring at him. The teenager kept looking and would find my dad staring every time.

      When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

      Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; I knew he would have a good one!

      In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid "Got stoned once and f*cked a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son!"

      When Faced with an Angry Teenager...

      What to do and what NOT to do:

      Traditional counseling and therapy focus on getting a child to talk about his "feelings" and building his self-esteem to change his behavior. Self-esteem IS important, yet what parents and teens need is TOOLS! They need effective strategies they can use daily once away from the counselor's office and are facing day-to-day, real-world challenges.

      Both teens & their parents often lack the skills to solve the problems they encounter every day. The primary need is more effective ways to problem-solve rather than engage in fighting and defiant behaviors.

      In the Face of an Angry Teenager...

      *Above all...REMAIN CALM! Take deep breaths, count to 10, do whatever it takes NOT to engage when the teen explodes in a hissy fit.

      *Say as little as possible. No lectures and no threats. Say only what you mean and say it without anger or judgment.

      *Use a soft voice. Yelling will only escalate the situation. A whisper can be surprisingly effective.

      *Be FIRM! Make your expectations reasonable and make them crystal clear. If you give in to an angry teen, then you have encouraged that behavior, a guarantee the angry outbursts will return again and again. While choosing your battles and being flexible is a good thing, some things are simply NOT negotiable.

      Teenagers and Drugs

      Is your teenager using drugs? alcohol? It's likely.

      Think your teenager is not doing drugs? At the very least, odds are that your teen has smoked pot. Got prescription drugs in the house, of ANY kind? Where ARE they? Have you locked them up? A few facts to know...

      *Drugs prescribed for ADD/ADHD like Ritalin, Focaline, Metadate and others sell at high schools for $5 per pill and UP!

      *Some teens have been known to steal drugs from parents for parties, then throwing them into a bowl and taking handfuls at random, sometimes called Chex Mix.

      *Anti-anxiety drugs such as Xanax are popular among teens for a high.

      teenagers
      teenagers

      What Teenagers NEED...

      Teens need respect, but also responsibility and fair consequences for their actions.

      Teenagers need:

      1) RESPECT from adults, and yes that includes unconditional love...meaning we may not love their behaviors but we DO love THEM no matter what!

      2) To take responsibility for themselves, to be held accountable for their actions. Parents: Bail your teen out of a troubling situation and you might as well encourage them to do the same again and again.

      3) To share beliefs and opinions and form their OWN values.

      4) To experiment and take healthy risks. Parents must be alert to warning signs that indicate a teenager has moved from healthy into harmful risk-taking, but also need to choose battles about when to intervene carefully.

      5) To interact with their peers, to be social and interact with others.

      6) Positive adult role models. When it come to influencing teenagers, the things you say probably aren't as important as the things you DO.

      Teenagers and Tuition

      Why the expectation that parents will pay for their kid's college tuition?

      I mean, I can see helping a teenager with college tuition if the family is able to do so - assuming the teen does keep grades up and treat that opportunity responsibly. Ever notice how many do just the opposite?

      Where's the requirement of some actual vested interest to hold a student accountible? Parents who pay college costs freely without doing so might be delivering the wrong message. Think?

      About Teenagers - Go Figure!

      A teenager is often a paradox, a case study in opposites.

      A Teenager is...

      *A whiz who can operate the latest computer but can't make a bed.

      *A student who spends 12 minutes studying for a history exam and 12 hours for a driver's license.

      *Well informed & knows-it-all about anything she/he doesn't have to study.

      *A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.

      *A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.

      *An original thinker who sure of the fact that - mom and dad were never teenagers.

      *An individual who expects to be treated like an adult while refusing to BE one.

      Serenity Prayer for Parents of Teenagers

      God grant me the SERENITY...

      to remain CALM in spite of my teenager

      the PEACE to refrain from locking the teen in a cage

      and the WISDOM to retain my OWN life in spite of teenagers.

      Teenage Aliens?
      Teenage Aliens?

      Once upon a time...

      I was a mom of two sweet little blonde boys. We laughed and giggled, hugged and played games, made messes and built crazy stuff together.

      I watched them grow with fascination at each development.

      Then one day they developed into beings completely beyond my imagination!

      They became TEENAGERS!

      "Kevin Becomes a Teenager" - Hysterical Video

      “When a child turns 12, he should be kept in a barrel and fed through the bung hole, until he reaches 16 ... at which time you plug the bung hole.”

      — Mark Twain

      What's YOUR take on this page and parenting teenagers?

      Join the discussion below.

      Teenage Terrorist Guestbook

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        • clouda9 lm profile image

          clouda9 lm 7 years ago

          I am sooooo glad to be outta the teen parenting stage - although now it is the twirly-headed twenties ;) Had fun here - loved the posters.

        • Karicor profile image

          Karicor 7 years ago

          Oh wow, I guess I'll better be counting my blessings and prepare for the worst... ;)

        • RhondaAlbom profile image

          Rhonda Albom 7 years ago from New Zealand

          Interesting topic on teenage terrorists. I am lensrolling to Before Your Teenager Drives You Crazy, Read This! another similar book from a New Zealand author

        • sheriangell profile image

          sheriangell 7 years ago

          Looks like you created your very own Squidoo based support group for parents of teens. I am a mother of a teenage son and two preteen daughters. While not without challenges, I can say my son has been a blessing compared to other families issues. I pray my daughters sail through their teens, but know the law of averages probably is against us!

          Very well done lens and helping others.

        • darciefrench lm profile image

          darciefrench lm 6 years ago

          Both my teens (girls) moved out at 15 when I forbade sex in the home (younger kids around, mom was sexualized as a child of swingers and against teen sex). They went to Grandmas' who put them on the depo, bought them the CFM boots and set up a dresser in their rooms for the bf's things. (yes, there is humor in this accounting -:)

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          anonymous 6 years ago

          excellent lens

        • best-intentions profile image

          best-intentions 6 years ago

          Oh boy... don't even get me started! I have two, a 14 year old son, and a 14 year old step-daughter who is here 50% of the time...and then a four year old. When all three of them are having tantrums at the same time...and the whole blended family thing doesn't help much, either. My son is throwing a bloody fit right now because his step-sister gets to do pretty much whatever she wants when she's at her mom's house...and it's not fair that he doesn't get to live like that half the time, too. I will have to check out more of these resources...Thanks!

        • junecampbell profile image

          June Campbell 6 years ago from North Vancouver, BC, Canada

          It is a long time since I had teenagers and I'm GLAD of it. Terrorists indeed. Those were years I still tremble to remember. LOL I think the idea of support groups for parents of teens is a great idea. On the other hand, I must note that I have observed perfectly lovely teens going about their lives. I don't want to paint all with the same brush.

        • MargoPArrowsmith profile image

          MargoPArrowsmith 6 years ago

          Love the poster with the old lady lol My daughter is 40 and my older grandchild is 4 1/2. No worries right this minute. But I look at how their cousins turned out and how they are raising my two (combination of the best of American and Columbian cultures) and I am very happy they are in that huge and loving family.

        • hayleylou lm profile image

          hayleylou lm 6 years ago

          **Blessed** by the Parenting and Kids Squid Angel and will be featured on my new blessings lens coming soon :)

        • Ann Hinds profile image

          Ann Hinds 6 years ago from So Cal

          I think I love your father!

        • mattseefood lm profile image

          mattseefood lm 6 years ago

          Great read here! Thanks for informing us :)

        • profile image

          anonymous 5 years ago

          Didn't quite get what you mean by teenage terrorist. If a person knows how to parent a teenagers that wont happen

        • CrossCreations profile image
          Author

          Carolan Ross 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

          @anonymous: The term 'teenage terrorists' is just a joke, an effort to make light of a tough challenge faced by parents all around the world.

        • BusyMOM LM profile image

          BusyMOM LM 5 years ago

          Nicely done. You've covered all the bases. I try to remember what it was like when I was a surly teenager and it helps to have compassion for the one living in my house at the moment.

        • profile image

          anonymous 5 years ago

          Great tips on teens! I agree with setting rules and one thing I like to add is to praise your teen when he does something worthwhile reinforcing good behavior is important!

          More aboutmy parenting jouney at http://disciplineandchildren.com http://disciplineandchildren.com

        • profile image

          candidaabrahamson 5 years ago

          Well, slightly more positive on yours, of the terrorist teen (a phrase I love)--BUT. . .I've long since parented my teens, so it's easy to act cool and calm and collected. However, I did adore this lens so much that I added it to my featured lens module in a lens I did on teaching teens responsibility. Come back if you'd like to see your terrorist topic in lights, at http://www.squidoo.com/raising-adolescents. Good luck surviving.

        • profile image

          candidaabrahamson 5 years ago

          Well, slightly more positive on yours, of the terrorist teen (a phrase I love)--BUT. . .I've long since parented my teens, so it's easy to act cool and calm and collected. However, I did adore this lens so much that I added it to my featured lens module in a lens I did on teaching teens responsibility. Come back if you'd like to see your terrorist topic in lights, at http://www.squidoo.com/raising-adolescents. Good luck surviving.

        • CrossCreations profile image
          Author

          Carolan Ross 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

          @candidaabrahamson: hey thanks for adding me, appreciate that! CC

        • profile image

          Joan4 5 years ago

          I am truly thankful my teens are responsible grown ups now! My favorite quote, if I can remember, was something like "I wish to be only half as smart as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager thinks I am now." We just always made sure the punishment fit the crime -- i.e. behavior comes with consequences -- good and bad.

        • CrossCreations profile image
          Author

          Carolan Ross 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

          @Joan4: thanks Joan, love that quote and going to include it here. You ROCK!

        • LisaDH profile image

          LisaDH 5 years ago

          My kids haven't hit the teens years yet, and I'm dreading it....

        • Sylvestermouse profile image

          Cynthia Sylvestermouse 5 years ago from United States

          I am seriously having a ton of conflicting thoughts right now. I have 2 of my own children and 16 nieces and nephews in ages that range for 2 yrs. old to 30 yrs. old. Our family has seen a lot of, well, a lot. Teen years for everyone are difficult years, not just the parents and not just the teens. I have watched my own parents suffer through difficult times in their grandchildren's lives. It isn't easy. There are no clear cut answers and I really, truly want to be thoughtful and careful here, but in all honesty, my siblings and myself are quite thankful that there was nothing like facebook out there that could give us away. We did and said some foolish and thoughtless things, but I guarantee you, we all love and respect our parents. We always have, even in those teen years, but we made mistakes and we were loved right through them.

        • CrossCreations profile image
          Author

          Carolan Ross 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

          @Sylvestermouse: Thanks Cynthia. Yes there are no easy answers and raising teenagers now is VERY different, many more challenges arise with them having cell phones and internet access, it opens the door to issues our parents never had.

        • profile image

          anonymous 5 years ago

          Well, I'm a divorced dad and run into a lot of trouble when I try to discipline my daughter, but she just goes to her mom, who backs her up. It's a hard situation. I'm always the bad guy. I'm afraid she's being taught that nothing is her fault, and "I'm a teen, so of course I'll be moody". A simple talk about not assuming I'll drive her somewhere has turned into a bit of a nightmare. I'll be checking out some of these books.

        • profile image

          anonymous 5 years ago

          In your intro you ask if your teenager is driving you nuts? Well I have TWO teenagers drivcing me nuts at the moment. Everything you say on this page is such good, commonsense stuff. But boy, isn't it hard to stay calm and rational.......

        • myraggededge profile image

          myraggededge 5 years ago

          Engaging, entertaining, informative, useful and the peacock story is very, very funny! Blessed :)

          Also loving this lens' ranking today - 33,333.

        • RetroMom profile image

          RetroMom 5 years ago

          Very entertaining lens! Thanks for sharing!

        • profile image

          anonymous 5 years ago

          hate em the only people that can like them is another teenager.

        • profile image

          teenhelp 5 years ago

          Informative lens with helpful information on parenting today troubled teens. Parenting teenagers is the most considerable issue for parents these days and it is helpful to take professional people help to deal with troubled youth

        • thehouseofinfo lm profile image

          thehouseofinfo lm 5 years ago

          In the age of technology, I feel like there is just too much out there. Every time I think I have figured out all of the social media my daughter is using another one comes about. In terms of my reactions to her behaviors, I find that silence is Golden (if I can handle it!).

        • profile image

          Ruthi 5 years ago

          I thank the heavens my son and I survived the darkest years of our lives--his teenage years. Many of my worst fears as a parent became the reality that will linger in the shadows of our lifetimes.

          I fear there are no easy answers to raising children. We just do the best we can with a whole lot of love and prayer. Networking with other parents helps but is still no cure for the terrors of teenage times.

          I don't think it is any worse now than in previous generations. Maybe we just hear about it more with communicative technology. What evil is out there today was present yesterday; hence, the good of yesteryear is also present right now, right here.

        • Frazzledad LM profile image

          Frazzledad LM 5 years ago

          Great stuff....good to know I'm not alone with these, these....kids!

          Actually I'm fortunate that I have my oldest emerging from "the dark ages", as a 21 year old women, whom is strangely normal and seemingly well adapted at humanhood. Thoughts of her normalcy are a great source of optimism during the times which I'm ready to strangle the living @&$!/ out of my remaining brood.

        • Frazzledad LM profile image

          Frazzledad LM 5 years ago

          Great stuff....good to know I'm not alone with these, these....kids!

          Actually I'm fortunate that I have my oldest emerging from "the dark ages", as a 21 year old women, whom is strangely normal and seemingly well adapted at humanhood. Thoughts of her normalcy are a great source of optimism during the times which I'm ready to strangle the living @&$!/ out of my remaining brood.

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          JimDickens 5 years ago

          If the parent bases his/her responses on principles (not fashion or trendiness or misguided indulgence) and teaches those principles and sticks to those principles, then there should be less problems with the teens

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          Carolan Ross 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

          @JimDickens: Yes, I suppose I'd agree with this as a general rule. However there are so very many variables involved in raising teens. Just one involves the complications of divorce when one parent over-indulges and is not very consistent about principles, then the other parent is not left in a very good position. Not simple.

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          JimDickens 5 years ago

          @CrossCreations: You are absolutely right. I should have said "both parents..." If there is one sticking to principles and one caving as a matter of course, there is really no hope of having anything but a terrorist for a teenager

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          JodiFromFlorida 4 years ago

          My kids weren't angels but they were good. They didn't drink or do drugs and weren't out running around, they had nice friends.

          But some of these kids I see are entitled, disrespectful little snots. They should come and live at my house...

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          anonymous 4 years ago

          I survived 3 teenagers, I wonder if there's a t-shirt for that. Such an important expression of social responsibility you have made here with so much at stake, these are troubling times and a much more complex world to grow up in than we experienced with outside influences now being right there in a moment. So very well done! Wish there were easy answers. I love your "When I was your age..." and that quote from Dr. Oz about when he gives his children what he didn't have, he's taking away something he had....lots of food for thought here!

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          funbee lm 4 years ago

          I really like the humor you used and you've also provided some really good tips. Its strange how teenagers have this whole culture around them unlike other groups.

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          MoxieMall1 4 years ago

          Hi,

          All the different perspectives on teen behavior in your lens is interesting. I agree with all of them and would like to offer another. I think that recent world and U.S. events, particularly involving the economy are at least in the subconscious of our teens. They understand that their parents may be struggling financially, teens are less likely than ever to find a summer job, college costs are prohibitive to more kids and college degrees don't hold the earning power they once did. Kids move back in with parents or live with several others. Deep down, they are worried for their future success. Right now, I think that helplessness and anxiety drives some of their anger but when that turns to hopelessness on a grand scale, we will be in big trouble. The sooner we work with our teens to understand their behavior and to find ways to cope and thrive, the better off we all will be.

          Thanks for the excellent lens!

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          Carolan Ross 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

          @JimDickens: Oh how well I know this...

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          Carolan Ross 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

          @MoxieMall1: Good point. My oldest son actually mentioned this...said he had talked with his buddies about it, something like that...'here we are just graduating and the whole fricking world has turned to sh--!' Yes, some of them DO get it and are worried. Teen hopelessness on a grand scale = NOT good!

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          Carolan Ross 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

          @funbee lm: Humor has a place in most issues, I think, helps to keep ya moving forward...to lighten up about some issues when you feel you have no control over them.

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          Carolan Ross 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

          @anonymous: Thanks so much. Anyone who has survived 3 teenagers would surely 'get' the seriousness of this issue and appreciate the humor. And yes, I agree that the Dr. Oz quote spells out the crux of the matter pretty clearly.

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          Carolan Ross 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

          @JodiFromFlorida: One of my friends has the most delightful teenage girls. She's a very caring mom but also very firm. When she says NO she means it, no BS there...her daughters know that and do not waste energy trying to change her mind OR going to dad. Dad and mom may not always agree, but they are always a united front with their daughters.

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          Carolan Ross 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

          @Frazzledad LM: Hang in there, Frazzled Dad. Remain calm & carry on. Stand your ground until the day they become human.

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          chas65 4 years ago

          I once heard (a joke) that teenagers were God's punishment for having sex. but grandchildren were the reward for not killing them.

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          Carolan Ross 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

          @chas65: Oh that's a GOOD one! "Teenagers are God's punishment for having sex, but grandchildren are the reward for not killing them!" LUV IT!

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          Aarron 4 years ago

          I really like the tips you have given in this article. I have found some good positive parenting tips. Let me share the link with you : http://www.dadabhagwan.org/scientific-solutions/re...

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          ThoughtsFromGreg 3 years ago

          I liked your lens, especially the module on Do's and Dont's of facing an angry teenager.

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          respectme 4 months ago

          Great article. Very informative ..Im a single dad with a teenager son so i can totally relate.

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