Secrets of Living Life with a TeenAge Girl
Parenting a Teen is a Challenge
Do you live with a teenage girl? Well, I live with two teenage daughters, and to save my sanity, I have learned some parenting tips to deal with the changes that all teen girls go through.
Living with a teenager girl is like living with Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde. You never quite know which person you are talking to. One day they are polite, helpful, and surprisingly mature, and the next they are moody, bored, and rebellious. And that is only the beginning. So read on, laugh a little, and become a part of the teenage behavior survivors club.
Typical Teen Behavior
What to Do To Survive With A Teenage Daughter - Or How to Attempt to Keep Your Sanity
- Ignore the moods--they really have nothing to do with you personally. She is just being a teenager (morphing into an alien). Really.
- Speak to your daughter as if she is a rational being. There is one hidden under the hormones.
- Hug and kiss her even when she pulls away. She secretly wants to hugged even if it is not cool.
- Don't try to be perfect. You are much more believable when you aren't. Then she won't feel like such a failure if she makes a mistake. And being imperfect is so much easier.
- It's okay to get angry, and disappointed, but stay in control. She is learning from what you do. If you have to, walk away, then come back when you are in control.
- Tell your daughter stories of what goofy things you did as a teenager. You did some pretty dumb things, right?
- Find ways to laugh. When you laugh together, it brings you closer.
- Get to know her friends. Looks are not everything.
- Choose your battles. Remember you can always cut off the purple hair while they are sleeping.
- Make them stick to the rules. Having the rules really makes their lives easier. It's not having rules that confuses them.
- You don't have to be your daughter's best friend. Let her pick a best friend from her peers. She needs you as a parent more.
- Say no. Again, and again, and again. No should mean no.
- Give your daughter privacy, but let her know that privacy is a privilege.
- Don't forget in all the craziness to tell her you love her. Girls have it tough. She needs to know.
Mothers Are Crucial
You are a role model.
No matter what your daughter tells you, mothers are crucial.
Teenage daughters learn from their mothers how to be a woman, and how to act in the world as a woman. No matter what they tell you, they really are paying attention to everything that you do.
Have you set firm rules for your daughter? How else is she supposed to get out of things she doesn't really want to do with her peers?
What kind of example are you setting? Are you confident in yourself so she will learn to be?
Being a teenage girl in today's world is a lot more difficult than it was when you were a teen--and that was no picnic.
Being a woman is also very confusing. You, as your daughter's role model, are very influential--even when you think they are not listening.
Teens Eat a Lot But They Are Very Picky
Healthy teens are easier to live with
Have you ever really thought about how teenagers eat? We know that they are always hungry. At least it seems that way in my house, but what exactly are they eating and is it fuel for their bodies and minds?
Teens burn off a lot of energy through growth, but they need to learn to eat in a healthy manner to start their adulthood strong.
It is often tough to control what they eat, but you can help by having healthy snacks in the house, and teaching them quick and easy recipes that they can made for themselves.
I recently taught my daughter how to make an easy quesadilla by just melting shredded cheese inside a flour tortilla. The same daughter asks me to buy bags of ready to mix salads in the grocery store so that she can have them as snacks.
With so many health food grocery stores these days, there are more and more convenient and easy ways to eat healthy snacks and meals. Help your teens grow up eating healthy foods as a matter of course, instead of forcing themselves to because they know it is good for them. Healthy teens are much happier teens.
Real Pressures Teen Face
Being a teenager has always been a tough age. The tug of war between childhood and adulthood mixed in with changing hormones and peer pressure has been in the mix for generations. Nowadays, however, teenagers face more and more dangers that even their parents never even heard of.
HIV is alive and well, and safe sex practices are not just to avoid pregnancies anymore.
We hear about teen shootings in schools every few months. We had one here in Cleveland, just a few months ago, and I happened to know a teacher in the school.
Drugs are prevalent in all levels of society. Although we don't hear about it quite as much as when I was a teen, the danger is still quite current.
And for girls there are added pressures.
Self-confidence is extremely vulnerable in teenage girls. Many girls who are confident in elementary school become less so as they become teens.
Self-confidence is very important in teenage decision making. They are already fighting peer pressure constantly. It is critical to help them like themselves as people.
Girls face body image issues constantly. From magazines, TV, movies, and online, they are bombarded with inappropriate images to aspire to, including unachievable body images, inappropriate behavior, and negative role models.
One minute they are watching a show on a Nickelodeon or Disney channel, and the next they hear that their favorite star is pregnant or featured online in compromising photos.
Parents need to know even more now, than they did in the past, what their children are doing, who they are doing it with, what they are watching on TV or online, and who they are corresponding with.
It is our job to teach our children that people are not always who they say they are, and how to be responsible adults.
And then we need to trust them until they prove us otherwise.
Teen Rebellion with a Twist
An Interesting Theory on Teen Behavior
What Do You Think? - Girls or Boys
The Age Old Question--Are Girls or Boys Harder to Raise?
Fathers are Vital
You teach your daughter what men are like
The father of a teenage girl is just as important as her mother. Fathers teach their daughters how men are supposed to behave.
Fathers teach their daughters how men treat women. And they do this every moment of every day by their actions and interactions with the women around them.
How do they treat their own mothers? Their wives? Their daughters? Do they really listen to what women say to them? Do they respect their female relatives' opinions?
How do they speak about their female coworkers? Their bosses? And at their angriest, do they take out their strength on their wives and daughters?
Fathers help a daughter define her self-image. She looks in your eyes and sees what you see. She is a reflection of you as much as she is of her mother.
And you are her protector. And sometimes her excuse to get out of doing things she really doesn't want to do with her friends anyway.
Don't forget to listen to your daughter, and tell her you love her.
Sites Where Teens Spend Their Time
- Fan Fiction
This is a site for fans of anime to write stories and read other fans' stories.
Lots of TV and videos
My daughter is on this, and so am I. Not just for teens.
- Cartoon Network
Cartoon Network online and on television.
- Disney Channel
Disney Channel is working hard to appeal to teens and it is working to some extent, especially with girls.
One site to find manga. Pretty much any manga site will attract teens.
If it had to do with music, dvds, podcasts, or anything audiovisual, Itunes is the favored site.
This is a site like Youtube with videos.
Books Teenagers Read
The wildly popular American manga web comic hits its landmark third volume! Piro and Largo are still stuck in Japan, and this odd couple of an anime/manga-obsessed fanboy and a hard-core gamer, are both stirring up trouble, and stringing together awkward crushes. It's a true fantasy existence, as the insane and destructive Largo fights "zombie hordes" and Piro pursues the heart of a budding voice actress. All the while, an expanding cast of surprising and delightful characters keeps the chaos mo...
"When a young girl is called to fight evil spirits, she finds incredible strength within herself and incredible love from without. Yurara Tsukinowa is a quiet girl who can see spirits and sense their emotions. Not wanting to seem abnormal, she hides her secret until she meets Mei Tendo and Yako Hoshino, two guys who use their spiritual powers to ward off vengeful spirits. The dormant guardian spirit in Yurara arises and a strong-willed beauty with the power to release souls emerges!When Mei and...
lder teens and adult readers can't get enough of Gossip Girl, the anonymous narrator who made her catty debut in the bestselling Gossip Girl and titillated readers in the juicy sequel, You Know You Love Me. Now in All I Want Is Everything, readers will love her even more as Gossip Girl dishes up dose after hefty dose of dirt on all her friends-New York's wealthiest private school teens. Sharp wit, intriguing characters, and high-stakes melodrama drive the action of this wildly popular new series...
Transported back to Japan's feudal era, high school student Kagome accidentally releases the feral half-demon dog boy Inu-Yasha from his imprisonment for stealing the Jewel of Four Souls.
Teens Go Green
Give your teens a cause to fight for
Teens need to get involved with something and the green cause is a great cause for them to get involved in. The whole world is going green and it is a positive, healthy goal for any teen or adult.
Green teen resources
Today's teenagers are standing at the crossroads of environmental history. Global warming will fundamentally change the world as they know it within their lifetime. But how to keep their healthy environmental awareness from becoming environmental anxiety? The secret is to provide them with education and tools for positive action.
Written in easily accessible language, The Green Teen combines simple and quick eco-friendly tips, interviews with "green teens," ideas for organizing and communicating environmental change, and a host of resources in a handy "grab-and-go" format. Teens will learn:
* How the choices they make each day impact the environment
* How to fit eco-friendly decisions into their tight schedules and budgets
* How to effectively get today's decision makers involved in environmental stewardship
Teens want to learn how to minimize their environmental impact at home, at school, and in their communities and get their concerns recognized by school officials, politicians, media, and even their own parents. The Green Teen is the book that will help them do it, and it is also a must-read for parents, grandparents, teachers, and school administrators who want to help the next generation make environmentally responsible choices.
Generation Green: The Ultimate Teen Guide to Living an Eco-Friendly Life
"Every generation thinks they want to change the world. If the latest generation is serious about it, Tosh and Linda provide the blueprint. This book is deep and yet fun and smart and filled with great tips, facts, stories, and interviews. Every school needs to have Generation Green as part of their curriculum!"
-- Ed Begley, Jr., Living with Ed, for Discovery's Planet Green
"The guide is packed with tons of tips for becoming eco-chic..."
-- Teen Vogue
"We've got Generation X and Generation Y. Generation Green has a much better ring to it!"
-- Amy Edelen, co-host of FreshlyGreen.com & co-owner of YourGuidetoGreen.com
"Generation Green is a fast-paced and easy read for any young adult who's interested in finding purpose in their life and making a difference. If you know a teen that longs to be inspired by something more than reality TV, Generation Green is chocked full of fun and easy-to-apply actions which prove how small things can make a huge impact. Buy this book for every teen you know and allow them join with us to transform the world!"
-- James Arthur Ray, New York Times best-selling author of Harmonic Wealth
"Linda Sivertsen is the greenest person I know. She was born green!"
-- Leeza Gibbons
We all know about the Earth's environmental crisis, but there is someone who can truly make a difference: you. If you text your friends or chat with them online, download music to your iPod, or toss bottles and papers into recycling bins, you're already more eco-savvy than you think. It's just as easy to do even more to help save the earth, and Generation Green shows you how. This book:
* Lays out the inside scoop on the biggest issues affecting our planet, such as global warming and overflowing landfills
* Offers dozens of tips on how to shop, dress, eat, and travel the green way
* Includes interviews with teens like you who are involved with fun, innovative green causes
* Shows that being environmentally conscious can be a natural part of your life -- and your generation's contribution to turning things around.
It doesn't matter if you can't vote or drive. Your efforts -- big or small -- will contribute to saving the planet. It's time for all of us to take action. It's time to go green!
At the Tail End
I have been a mother of teenage daughters for several years, but am finally almost at the tail end of this journey. My younger daughter will turn 18 this year and be an "adult." I have found that while often frustrating, all in all, I would not have missed these years for anything.
© 2008 Paula Atwell