Turning 22 with a Kid
My 22nd Birthday, and being a mom....
Well my 22nd birthday is just around the corner, You'd think I should be excited right? Wrong...
I often times find myself struggling to connect and make conversation or hold up a conversation with the people my age, and those without kids. A lot of the times we just don't have the same outlook on how life works now, I can't just drop everything when ever I would like to, because I have a responsibility to my child. These days I feel as though I would much rather stay home with my son than go out with friends, I just can't keep up with the staying up late anymore. The close friends that I do have around my age are the ones who stuck out the roller-coaster ride with me, and still choose to stick by me no matter how twisty, bumpy, or crazy the ride gets; sometimes though it's still hard to relate with them, and keep up with them. I almost feel like an alien with them, though I know they don't see it that way. I do feel some resentment towards them sometimes, being able to go out and experience things that I can't; I am so incredibly happy and proud of them for going out and finding/making new opportunities; but I never really knew or cared about how much I would sacrifice, and the things I would miss out on until now.
I love my son more than anything in the world, and If given the chance I would not turn back time to change anything. He saved my life. I just wish things were a little different.
I am 22, with an almost 3 year old, no drivers license, living at home with my mom, it's great and I appreciate it, especially being a full time distance college student and stay at home mom, but I just wish I had done things differently. I wish I were in my own place, had gotten on getting my license in high school. saved up more money when I was working. I am usually quite proud of myself with my accomplishments since having a child at a young age; I finished high-school shortly after he was born, when I otherwise likely wouldn't have chosen to go back, I started college for Medical Office Administration and I will be done in August; I have plans to return to a graduated drivers program in June; so in reality things are coming together that are going to end up becoming essential for my future. Every so often though I find myself in the situation of resenting my current situation.
Being a mom is hard, but it really is the most rewarding responsibility. Watching my son grow, and learn is the key point to my motivation. He is the reason, that even though I sometimes resent the people my age around me without kids, that I feel okay and at peace with not being able to do the things I would otherwise be able to do and enjoy.
I am the luckiest out of all those around me because no one else is my sons mom.