- Family and Parenting
The Story of the Unicorns (horns and farts)
Another story that evolved from playing with my daughter. This is the story of how unicorns got horns, and what happened next.
Once upon a time there was a very special kind of horse. They had the most beautiful silken, silvery white coats, long golden manes and swishy tails. The horses lived deep in the greenest of forests, and traveled in a very unique herd pattern. They walked in one long row, one behind the other, much like elephants in the circus. They looked majestic and beautiful, sparkling in their long rows through the trees.
There was just one problem, and it was kind of a big one. The horses feasted daily on their favorite vegetables, broccoli and corn. Well, this caused them to be a bit gassy. As you can imagine, this got to be kind of a problem for the horses as they often had their nose in the rear end of the one in front of them. There was a lot of biting. A great deal of crescent shaped scars appeared on their hindquarters, causing people who saw them traveling through the not quite so fragrant mists, to think that maybe they were touched by moon fairies, or perhaps came down from the heavens themselves.
It seemed that biting was not enough however, and over time, the horses evolved. They developed long golden horns on their foreheads that were very strong and very sharp. These helped to intimidate the gassy horse in front, and if it failed, well, that's what the point end was for! One young man who spied them named the horses Unicorns; "uni" for the single horn, and "corn" for the smelly mist that lurked around them. "Uni-broccoli farts" just didn't have the same ring.
After numerous poking in the arse, the Unicorns decided that maybe they shouldn't travel in groups anymore. They parted ways, and never more were viewed in groups of more than one, two, or three. Families only stayed together as long as they could stand the smell. The Unicorn numbers diminished, until they were hardly seen at all. Nowadays, people think that such a creature never existed. I've never seen one myself, but I've been in the forest and seen the mist, and smelled it, too.