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Being an Unwed Mother at Any Age is Never Easy.

Updated on March 13, 2011

I was fifteen years old and a sophomore in high school, when my cousin ( let's call her Angel)was pregnant with her daughter. At. first, I couldn't believe it, because I consider my cousin to be an "outgoing" or "nothings going to tie me down" type of person. Angel was very pretty and wise for her age. During Angel's pregnancy, she ended up being home schooled by one of the her high school teachers. I asked Angel how did she like it. Angel said that it wasn't the same. There wasn't anyone to hide behind, when the teacher asks questions. So you have no choice but to answer.

After Angel had her daughter, she returned to school. I found that before we could plan to attend any activities whether at school or after school. Angel would always have to take in consideration who would babysit her daughter; or would she be able to take her daughter with us. Most of the time, if Angel wanted to go anywhere either her grandmother, her boyfriend and his relatives or even I would babysit.

As time went, we made it to our senior year and I can recall a conversation that I had with Angel. Angel told me, she was thinking about having another child, after she graduates and marries her boyfriend. I said to her, Angel, first all you have to graduate. Secondly, will you and your boyfriend still be together? Unfortunately, Angel and her boyfriend did not stay together, both ended up with other mates. As far as I know Angel never continued her education, and after high school she had two more children.

While I was in high school, I never imagine myself in the same predicament as Angel. But I found myself fourteen years later contemplating whether to have my child, even though I was an adult. It was a hard to make a decision. For one, it meant that I was going to be an unwed mother also. My child's father by his choice was not involved in the parenting. I did receive support from him eight years later, through help from the court system. You would think it would be easier by a person being older and possibly more established. It isn't. You still have to answer those serious questions such as, why my parent doesn't want to come around, does he know about me, or is he mad with me. My answer has always been yes, he knows about you, and he's mad with me. I never kept the father away. When I first told the father about my pregnancy, made it perfectly cleared that his relationship with our child was based on what he say and do. Not what I say or do, but I always kept it positive.

My child is a teenager now, and has never met his father. I just recently had contact through the court system, because the father wants to lower the child support amount. Well, as I told the father years ago, I plan to continue taking care of our child whether I have his support or not. No matter what age you are, being an unwed mother is never easy.


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    • Laurin Gatewood profile image

      Laurin Gatewood 6 years ago

    Are there more unwed mothers between the ages of 14 and 21 or 30 and 50?

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