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23 ounces of atrocious in a can (Peace Tea: Green tea edition)

Updated on June 10, 2013
peace tea is a sucking singularity it warps space-time with how bad it is
peace tea is a sucking singularity it warps space-time with how bad it is | Source

First and foremost let it be known that I consume tea daily. I enjoy the variety and flavors it comes in. I'm what you'd call a tea addict. Gotta drink my tea! Pip, pip, cheerio.

Moving on with that topic I decided to try out Peace Iced Tea. It was mostly due to a dare and I wanted to know what the hubbub was about for myself. I regret this decision. Although I will admit the price is pretty reasonable being 99 cents for its size (23 oz).

I went out to buy the green iced tea thinking, “hey, green tea with some honey isn't bad!” It took me a while to get used to that (as I prefer to drink it straight) but I found I didn't mind that flavor combination thanks to Lipton's bottle of green tea.

Sadly it should have been a clear warning sign when their can lacked any "satisfaction guaranteed" written on there. Perhaps as a customer we're supposed to be too distracted to even look for it. In fact due to my displeasing experience I started having issues with the art on the can. Do not misunderstand as the art is nice to look at but upon closer inspection I started having problems with it. Let’s take a look shall we?

Stand up against the man, maaaan!
Stand up against the man, maaaan! | Source

Look at them ready to go up against the man, man! All these Chinese people uniting! Wow, thanks for trivializing another country’s culture and history to sell your product. It's not like they went through centuries of dynasty and governmental changes. No, I'm not saying what they have is perfect--nor am I saying we should ignore the many tragedies that had occurred during Mao's rise to power.

Yet at the time they truly believed in his revolutionary vision. Of course just like Russia there was a disconnect between its leader and the government and the people which lead to tragic results. Although hooray! Whatever gets the product to sell, am I right or am I right?

This is a minor gripe but I'm bothered that the focal point of this picture is a disembodied hand wearing jade jewelry. What is it trying to imply here? That if we create anarchy we get rich, quick? Thanks for your Machiavellian idea.

Granted this is over analyzing a simple picture on a can. Strange, isn't it?

This wouldn't be complete without the nutritional facts.
This wouldn't be complete without the nutritional facts. | Source

I even find it funny while in the picture it has a sign saying “question authority” yet this clearly doesn’t apply to their employees.

Since under their nutritional facts it states: “[…] canned in the USA under the authority of Peace Tea Beverage Company […]” Down with the man, man! Fight the power! Unless you work for us (implied). That sure doesn’t sound hypocritical at all!

Now you may be wondering, “Okay cool, but how does it taste?” Let me summarize it before I bombard you with my unbridled fury (and bias): It is 23 ounces of atrocious in a can. From the get go I was not pleased with this product.

Opening the can I was admittedly cautious having heard the negative on its taste. I took a sniff wondering what its scent was like only to immediately back away. The smell was so repugnant and unidentifiable that I thought I was going to do the Technicolor yawn. This made my courage stats plummet to 0 as I quietly questioned whether I could complete this quest my friend bestowed upon me.

Of course this article would go nowhere if I hadn’t. When I dared to give it a second sniff was when it started smelling like ordinary sweet green tea. Recognizing the scent as opposed to what I was first met with I gave it a sip. It started off innocent enough—the first few seconds I could make out the taste of green tea harmonizing with the flavor of honey. Then the uninvited neighbor comes a-knocking.


The flavor is truly hard to put to words but before I attempt it I’l l say this: with each sip I took I kept scrunching my face up in disgust. I couldn’t even finish the can without eating some spicy curry to drown out this tea’s taste.

After the first sip there was no hint of the green tea. Instead all there was a clash of sugar and a mix of something acidic without the burn, and just plain gross. It’s as if they tried to make an alcoholic beverage changed their mind during the process and dumped diluted tea into it.

It’s laughable that they have to appeal to the fact they use natural tea! Brewed in pure filtered water! Wow, how ground breaking! Enjoy the lovely taste of ancient China while we’re at is since they threw in the extract of panax ginseng root! It definitely leaves the wonderful taste of something being fermented and left out for too long possibly in a dirty sock.

If you have the pleasure of choosing between this and an entirely different beverage, I advise you to go for the other one. Although I understand what I’m writing here isn’t fair and I will note their Razzleberry tea is adequate. I can understand why there were positive reviews on that one.

However I will note it’s not the best raspberry iced tea out there. The taste of raspberry is far too muted and the sugar simply overpowers it. It has a hint of a bitter aftertaste that’s similar to that of water where the ice melted inside of it.

I will never forget this momentous occasion thanks to this e-postcard you can send to your friends on their website.

Never forget the 8th of June 2013.
Never forget the 8th of June 2013. | Source

Comments

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    • profile image

      notsure 

      2 years ago

      how can you not like peace tea, peace tea is the best thing to happen to humanity

    • profile image

      Andi 

      2 years ago

      Oh my god you drive me insane. This entire article is the snobbiest piece of writng I've ever seen.

    • profile image

      RayneKawaii 

      2 years ago

      I happen to really like this tea, but I did have a few that tasted fermented. Overall I still love Peace Tea.

    • profile image

      Tea Snob 

      2 years ago

      I too enjoy good tea.

      And this is NOT good tea. Mine had a mildly fermented taste which was off-putting. (Yes, I shook the can.)

      If you like tea or have taste buds, this tea isn't for you.

    • elusion profile imageAUTHOR

      Elys Heim 

      3 years ago

      Whoa guys this is late but I'm leaving a comment to express my surprise to see any comments.

      First off, thank you all for your feedback!

      For the record it's okay if you like this tea. That's your opinion just like how this article is entirely my own. I do not expect anyone else to change their opinions to match my own. I mean, the world would be boring if we all agreed on every little thing.

      I greatly appreciate those regardless of how they feel taking their time to read this and leave feedback.

      Have a great day, folks!

    • profile image

      for fuck's sake 

      3 years ago

      this entire comment section is filled with PR cronies and whiny idiots with entitlement complexes =/

    • profile image

      Alexi 

      3 years ago

      The reason it tasted like that is because you forgot to shake the can. I laughed throughout your entire review.

    • profile image

      joe boone 

      3 years ago

      Perhaps you shouldve had a V8?

    • profile image

      LEANNI 

      4 years ago

      I have tried this tea 2 times and it tastes like regular tea. Maybe you had a bad one or something LOL...

    • profile image

      J T 

      4 years ago

      Seeing as how you didn't look for a "guarantee" statement on the can, you probably also missed the part that said "shake well"

      Maybe it would taste differently? I'm just making assumptions here, don't mind me

    • profile image

      Alex0949 

      4 years ago

      I bet you're one of those "tea addicts" that only drink bottled tea and liston bagged tea. Get some culture

    • profile image

      Sno-Berry 

      4 years ago

      Haters Gonna Hate.

    • profile image

      Eddie Bombay 

      4 years ago

      This review is ridiculous. This tea is really good and for the price you can't go wrong.

    • profile image

      WTF II 

      4 years ago

      Yeah this lady is insane this tea is awesome. Its only 99 cents and only has 50 calories and 12 grams of REAL SUGAR (Not HFCS). You think because it says "canned with authority" it means their company is run by a crazy dictator or something, you're nuts lmao

    • profile image

      Wtf? 

      4 years ago

      First of all, how the hell can you claim that the people on the can are Chinese? That's just stupid. Secondly, I, along with many other people, love this tea. So shut your crazy cat lady ass up. (Weird how I make a judgement from your insane rant)

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