Become a Vegetarian - Top 10 Reasons Why
1. You magically transform from "plain and boring" to "unique and interesting."
2. You join the ranks of many famous, cool, and esteemed vegetarians: Albert Einstein, Gandhi, Buddha, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Brad Pitt, Alanis Morissette, Ellen DeGeneres, Bill Clinton,....Bob Barker....um.....Pamela Anderson....uh.....Ru Paul........Mr. Rogers........Mr. Spock.......Clark Kent?
3. You can select your entree from a standard restaurant menu in no time at all.
4. Your mama will fuss over you and make you special meals at all family functions just to make sure you get enough to eat. (Your siblings can only sigh and roll their eyes.)
5. Finally - you get to be the center of attention and conversation! (at every single meal)
6. E COLI
7. You have an excuse not to try Aunt Bessie's *Surprise* Meat Pie.
8. Airline food upgrade, if you can call it that.
9. What if reincarnation is really true, and you come back as an unsuspecting member of a tasty Angus beef cattle?
10. Brain Power! Your vocabulary skyrockets to include tons of new words: casein, rennet, seiten, tempeh, vegan, ovo-lacto, pescetarian, pesco-pollo, fruitarian, freegan, flexitarian, xerophagy1, ......borborygmus2,.........nidorosity3,.....witzelsucht4.
1 - xerophagy - a diet of bread and water.
2 - borborygmus - a rumbling of gas in the intestines.
3 - nidorosity - belching with the taste of undigested meat.
4 - witzelsucht - a lame attempt at humor, especially due to an abnormal medical condition, such as schizophrenia!!