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Food Labels: Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup (Warning: May Cause Laughter....or Weeping...or Both)
The Facts and Only the Facts
Well, the first fact is that I love Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup. Ever since I was a young kid, I have eaten this soup when I did not feel well. This was the go-to medication for the flu and a bad cold, and it still is today. This is a part of Americana, one of our priceless treasures, and is woven into the very fabric of our society. This is home, mom, and apple pie all rolled into one package and awaiting us all.
Who hasn’t eaten this gift of the gods? Anybody out there? No chance, we have all eaten this at one time in our lives, right? Right! This is one of the items you want in a bomb shelter; it will always provide comfort no matter how bad things seem to be.
Reading the Label
We are told that a serving size is ½ cup of condensed soup, which will serve 2.5 people, and that there are 60 calories per serving or which 20 are fat calories. Okay, so far so good…..kind of!
This can before me has 2 grams of total fat, 0.5 g of saturated fat, and 0.5 g of monounsaturated fat. What the hell is monounsaturated fat? That’s a seven syllable word; I don’t want no seven syllable words in my stomach and that’s for damn sure. The most syllables I want in my stomach are three…Velveeta!
There are 890 mg of sodium (it appears everything we buy has sodium), 50 mg of potassium, 8 g of total carbohydrates, 1 g of fiber, 1 g of sugars, and 3 g of protein. It also has 4% Vitamin A, 2% Iron, and no Vitamin C or Calcium.
The label also has some handy information in that it tells us that metal edges are sharp, so be careful when opening the can. I’m wondering what idiot out there is not aware that metal edges are sharp. Do we really need to warn people that they can cut themselves on metal edges? Well yes, in today’s society where you can sue anyone, I imagine this warning makes a certain amount of sense.
For the health of your family, arm yourself with knowledge
Some More Bad News
- Food Labels: Ranch Dressing (Warning....This May Cause Laughter)
Join us for a look at the ingredients in Ranch Dressing. You might be surprised by what we found out.
Okay, now we get down to the nitty gritty! Here is the list of ingredients found in Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup. Sit down, get comfortable, and prepare yourself for a rather lengthy listing.
Chicken stock, enriched egg noodles (wheat flour, eggs, niacin, ferrous sulfate, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), chicken meat, water, salt, chicken fat, monosodium glutamate, cornstarch, mechanically separated chicken, modified food starch, yeast extract, flavoring, sodium phosphate, soy protein isolate, beta carotene, and chicken dehydrated.
Right below that they tell us, in bold print, that this product is cooked with care in the USA! Thank God, because I’d hate to think that the mononitrate or riboflavin were cooked in Taiwan and then shipped to the U.S., or that the food starch was modified by one of our enemies like Iran.
Campbell’s also seems to be quite proud that each can contains 32 feet of fresh egg noodles. Would that be the same fresh egg noodles made from folic acid? Just curious! They also tell us that it is made from good, honest ingredients! As opposed to what…. bad, dishonest ingredients? Who writes this nonsense? I don’t know about you but I start getting nervous when a company the size of Campbell’s tells us that they are being honest. I have flashbacks to President Nixon saying, “I am not a crook.”
Care To Poll?
So, are you surprised by the information in this article?
I Have a Few Questions
So what, exactly, is thiamine mononitrate? After a bit of research I discovered that it is a synthetic form of the vitamin B1, and that it has impurities that may cause shortness of breath and/or a skin rash. Fortunately, according to the Farmer’s Almanac, a remedy for skin rash is to rub the rash with chicken fat; in other words, after eating this delicious and honest soup, and developing a skin rash, you can treat the skin rash by rubbing this good, honest soup on the rash! Makes sense to me! Please dear God, give me strength to continue.
Okay, next question: what is modified food starch? Well, it turns out that many foods that we eat have modified food starch, which is a process of chemically treating native starch in order that it can serve as a thickening agent. It is also used as….are you ready for this….a binder in coated paper!
Suddenly this can of soup isn’t looking so delicious, and it certainly isn’t looking very honest!
Monosodium glutamate? It is a chemical that enhances flavor, and according to the Food and Drug Administration, it is considered “generally safe to eat.” I don’t know about you, but the word “generally” has me a bit concerned, especially since MSG has been known to cause headaches, rashes, sweating and irregular heartbeats….sort of like having sex without any of the benefits. Oh, and by the way, it has also been linked to cancer.
32 feet of noodles? I’m not sure I want to know that fact; that seems like one big snake to me, crawling around in my intestines, which also look like snakes come to think of it. Snakes feeding snakes, and suddenly my home cure for the flu sounds like an episode from Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom!
Now let’s discuss mechanically separated chicken! I hope you are sitting down. Mechanically separated meat (MSM) is a paste-like meat product produced by forcing meat under high pressure through a sieve to separate bone from meat tissue.
It is sometimes called “white slime,” and it turns out that it is quite controversial. The process has been used since the 60’s for hot dogs and bologna, and with chicken the breast carcasses are used because they still contain….are you ready….some parts of breast meat.
Just so there is no confusion about this process….the carcass of a chicken is pulverized, and then the white slime is combined with modified food starch so that it resembles chicken meat. You could accomplish the same thing yourself. Take a chicken carcass, strip off the meat, and place it on the floor. Then stand on a chair and jump down on the carcass one thousand times. Scoop up the mess on the floor, add modified food starch, and you have the same stuff that is called mechanically separated meat.
Okay, I’m putting my can of soup away now, back in the cupboard where it belongs, and where it will now sit until after I have died. What else am I going to do with it? I can’t give it to the poor during the next food drive; that would be tantamount to murder now that I know what I know. Sheez, being socially responsible is a pain in the butt!
There Is More but I Don’t Have the Stomach for It
One of my childhood traditions has just been shot to hell. This is like Old Yeller dying, or finding out Santa Claus was really my dad after he had four shots of Jim Beam on Christmas Eve. What are you going to tell me next, that Republicans really care about the poor, or that Democrats really love large corporations? Is nothing sacred in this country?
Stay tuned until next week when we will once again read a food label and then scratch it from our personal diet. I think I’ll go drown my sorrows with some tap water. No, wait, not the water my city processes for me….that crap has fluoride and chlorine in it. Sigh….I am doomed!
2012 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)