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The helpless bachelor's guide to cooking rice
Learning how to cook rice is essential
Rice is a staple food in many parts of the world. As Mitch Hedberg once said, it's a great food for when you're really hungry and you just want to eat 3,000 of something.
There's really no excuse for not knowing how to cook rice. Chances are you are here right now because you're a man living on your own for the first time or you're a college student. Either way, this is really simple and painless and in 5 minutes you'll be a rice-cooking expert.
Step 1: Preparing the Rice
First you've got to rinse the rice to remove impurities. Rice is typically covered in starch and other junk, giving it a milky white color. When you rinse it well it should have a much clearer appearance.
Now you've got to do some measuring. For every cup of rice you're making, add 1 1/2 cups of water. You should be putting your rice in a pot or sauce pan at this point, by the way. Don't just pour the water and rice on the floor. Once you've got the amount you want in the pot, put it on the stove at medium heat. You do not need to cover the pot, nor should you.
The rice is BOILING!!! Now what!?!?!
Alright, don't panic you crazy spaz. Now take that cover to the pan that you probably threw out when I told you that you didn't need it during the last step and place it most of the way over the pot, leaving a gap so you don't trap the steam (which would create a mess that we don't want to clean). Turn down the heat a little bit. Keep an eye on the rice. When you see little holes start to form on the surface, turn the heat all the way down to low and put the cover all the way on.
We're almost done cooking rice...
Keep the rice on the stove for another 15 minutes covered and on low. Take it off and begin eating it. Add whatever you like to it, after all it's rice. I've had it with just about every spice and condiment in the kitchen, including cinnamon, maple syrup, ketchup, butter, and just about everything else you can imagine.