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Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe:MOM and the Big Announcement

Updated on July 2, 2013
"Mom and the Big Announcement"
"Mom and the Big Announcement" | Source

Mom's Mission

My mother has always had the uncanny knack at being in the right place, but at the wrong time.

In honor of my mother’s “timing ability” I would like to share this particular story with love.

One of my mother’s all time favorite places to shop is a popular bed and bath store. She always looks in the Sunday paper for their weekly sales and if she has saved her pennies, she would trot off for a rendezvous with the bath, kitchen or bedroom department.

This particular week, her focus would be in the bathroom department. She had seen this item on T.V. advertised for weeks and she couldn’t stop thinking about it. She wanted it with a passion; The “Weigh Buddy!” A super advanced multipurpose sleek lightweight animated bathroom scale! This scale could do it all! According to the advertisement, it would weigh you, measure your height, measure your Body Mass Index and even tell you “Good Morning.” All for the low price of 69.95!

Mom saved her money for two weeks and was so excited about getting the “Weigh Buddy” bathroom scale. You see, mom had joined Weight Watchers about three weeks prior and the only thing she was missing from her motivational journey of weight loss was this “state of the art” scale.

Hunting Down the Fox

We arrived at the store and it was extremely busy due to the sale. A sales clerk directed us over to the bathroom department where they had the infamous “Weigh Buddy” along with the standard scales. There were dozens of them, spread out all over the floor for the sale. Mom went in and out of each row of the weighing devices like a blood hound, sniffing out the fox. “I found it!” Mom yelled across the aisle. There it was! The scale of all scales! The “Mother Lode” (Sorry, couldn’t help myself.) Looking just like the one on T.V., white, sleek, lightweight, and with a neck that came up to your waist for easy set up and manipulation. The floor model had batteries already in it so customers could try it out.

"Good Morning Audrey"
"Good Morning Audrey" | Source
"Welcome Back Audrey"
"Welcome Back Audrey" | Source
"Hello Audrey"
"Hello Audrey" | Source

Motivational Talking Scale

The Big Announcement!

Before mom stepped on the scale to try it out, she began to push a lot of buttons on the face of the panel.

Me (eyebrows raised): What the heck are you doing?

Mom (with her tongue clenched between her teeth in total concentration): You have to set it up properly with the correct information before you weigh yourself or it won’t register correctly.

Me (Still eyebrows raised): Are you sure? How do you know that?

Mom (with know-it-all voice): I’ve seen it a hundred times on T.V. (Déjà Vu: Where have I heard THAT before?)

Me (not quite understanding the logic): Can’t you just buy one and set that one up at home?

Mom (with determination): No! Besides, I want to make sure it works!

*Of course, it didn’t sink in that the one she’ll be taking home is not the floor model*

Mom (as if she’s done this a hundred times): You have to enter in your first name and what greeting you want! Which one should I put? They have “Good Morning”, “Hello”, and “Welcome Back.” Or, I could tell the scale to say all three greetings randomly.

Me (somewhat curious): How about all three! That would be cool!

Mom sets the scale to randomly say all three greetings and without hesitation proceeds to step on the scale.

Without checking the volume setting, the whole store was awakened to:

Scale (in computer voice): GOOD MORNING AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 165 POUNDS, YOUR BMI IS 30. HAVE A NICE DAY!

Mom (extremely embarrassed due to the fact that she just knew everyone in the store heard that!): Oh my gosh! How do you turn it down?
Accidently stepping on the scale again.

Scale (still in computer voice): WELCOME BACK AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 166 POUNDS, YOUR BMI IS 35. HAVE A NICE DAY!

Me (laughing and hiding behind the towels)

Mom (very embarrassed and somewhat miffed): Lisa! Get over here! Help me!

Me (still laughing)

Mom was frantically pushing buttons trying to turn it off, or make it change information, or something, and once again accidently steps on the scale for the second time.

Scale (louder computer voice): HELLO AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 185 POUNDS, YOUR BMI IS 25. HAVE A NICE DAY!

Mom (still pushing buttons): This damn scale is lying! It Lies!!!! I don’t want this one anymore, just grab that one over there Lisa and let’s go!

I grabbed the standard digital scale on sale for 15.99. No voice, no whistles, no “Have a nice day,” just plain old-fashioned, run of the mill digital scale.

As we headed for the check out (half way across the store) we hear:

Scale (haunting computer voice): “HELLO AUDREY. YOUR WEIGHT IS 220 POUNDS. YOUR BMI is 30. HAVE A NICE DAY! “WELCOME BACK AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 230 POUNDS. YOUR BMI IS 31. HAVE A NICE DAY!

It appeared that there were others who were trying the “new invention” out as well, however didn’t bother changing the info. By now I was laughing so hard I could barely keep up with my mom’s fast getaway.
As we approached the checkout, the clerk, who directed us to the scales earlier, noticed my mom carrying a different scale than the one she inquired about.

Clerk (happy sales pitch voice): didn’t you find the “Weigh Buddy?”

Scale (annoying computer voice): HELLO AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 298! YOUR BMI IS 35! HAVE A NICE DAY!

Mom (matter of fact): Yes, I want this one! The other one lies!

Clerk (concerned): Lies?

Scale (from across the store): WELCOME BACK AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 250! YOUR BMI IS 28! HAVE A NICE DAY!

Clerk (Still trying to make a sale): This scale doesn’t have any of the features of the “Weigh Buddy.” Are you sure you still want this one?

Mom (smiling with clenched teeth, ready to deck the clerk for keeping her there) Yes! This one is guaranteed to keep its mouth shut!

Scale (sarcastic computer voice): WELCOME BACK AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 248 POUNDS. YOUR BMI IS 28. HAVE A NICE DAY!

The clerk finished up the sale and in a defeated, yet pleasant voice:

Clerk: Thank you for shopping with us! HAVE A NICE DAY!

Scale (as we head out the door): WELCOME BACK AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 350 POUNDS. Your BMI is 39. Have a nice day!

4 stars from 1 rating of Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies

Prep and Baking Time

Prep time: 10 min
Cook time: 15 min
Ready in: 25 min
Yields: Serving size: Approximately 16 large cookies

Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies- Similar to the recipe
Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies- Similar to the recipe | Source

Ingredients

  • 1 3/4 cups (8-3/4 ounces) all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 3/4 cup packed (51/4 ounces) dark brown sugar
  • 1/2 cup (31/2 ounces) granulated sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 large egg plus 1 large yolk
  • 1 1/4 cups (71/2 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips or chunks
  • 3/4 cup pecans or walnuts, toasted and chopped (optional)

Instructions

  1. Preparation Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 375 degrees F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. Whisk flour and baking soda together in medium bowl; set aside.
  2. Melt 10 tablespoons butter in 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat. Continue cooking, swirling pan constantly, until butter is dark golden brown and has nutty aroma, 1 to 3 minutes. Transfer browned butter to large heatproof bowl. Add remaining 4 tablespoons butter and stir until completely melted.
  3. Add brown sugar, granulated sugar, salt, and vanilla to melted butter; whisk until fully incorporated. Add egg and egg yolk; whisk until mixture is smooth with no sugar lumps remaining, about 30 seconds. Let mixture stand for 3 minutes, then whisk for 30 seconds. Repeat process of resting and whisking 2 more times until mixture is thick, smooth, and shiny. Using rubber spatula, stir in flour mixture until just combined, about 1 minute. Stir in chocolate chips and nuts, if using. Give dough final stir to ensure that no flour pockets remain and ingredients are evenly distributed.
  4. Working with 3 tablespoons of dough at a time, roll into balls and place 2 inches apart on prepared baking sheets.
  5. Bake 1 sheet at a time until cookies are golden brown and still puffy and edges have begun to set but centers are still soft, 10 to 14 minutes, rotating baking sheet halfway through baking. Transfer baking sheet to wire rack; let cookies cool to room temperature.
  6. Tips Avoid using a nonstick skillet to brown the butter; the dark color of the nonstick coating makes it difficult to gauge when the butter is sufficiently browned.
  7. Use fresh, moist brown sugar, as hardened brown sugar will make the cookies too dry.
  8. This recipe works with light brown sugar, but the cookies will be less full-flavored
Elizabeth Rayen
Elizabeth Rayen | Source

About the Author

Lisa has directed and acted in musical theatre for nearly 30 years. Her musical upbringing allowed her to pursue her career in teaching and directing and continues to direct shows today. As the owner of 2 online Home Décor sites, Lisa’s passion for Rustic Living all begins with her love for the home, outdoors, and her many hobbies. Lisa loves to laugh, and she share’s that love through her comedic hubs centered on her MOM. Lisa’s passions include writing, directing, acting, photography, singing, cooking, crafts, gardening, and home improvement, including decorating. Lisa also writes under her penned name, Elizabeth Rayen.

If you have a passion for writing and would like to earn money by writing for Hub Pages,Join today ~ It's Fast, Easy, & FREE!

Comments: Mom and the Big Announcement

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    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 4 years ago from California

      LOL Teaches... I know... but it was funnier than all get out!.... I'd be happy to make you a batch and ship them to ya! :)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 4 years ago from California

      Thank you so much MsLizzy... Isn't it ironic how wise our fathers are! Mine too told me to not sweat the small stuff where MOM was concerned...lol Now I realize just what he was talking about!.. As for the cookies.... Try taking them out of the oven about 3 minutes sooner and be sure to place them on the cooling racks immediately. That might help :) Thanks so much for the votes and shares. You're awesome! :)

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      Poor mom! Funny. Love the chocolate chip cookies... Can I get these shipped?

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 4 years ago from Oakley, CA

      Oh, golly gee! What a hilarious tale! I can just imagine. Funny, how stuff like that, so humiliating in the moment, is the stuff of funny memories years later. When I was a kid, and something would upset me, my dad would say, "You'll never think a thing about it on your wedding day." At the time, I couldn't fathom what he was talking about. Now, I do.

      Our family, too, had many funny stories, and I put them into poetic form, and desk-top-published a few copies for family members.

      I can't wait to try out the recipe--I've had bad luck of late with the one on the package of chocolate chips--I think they changed something about that recipe, because the cookies keep coming out thin and crisp, instead of soft and chewy like they used to.

      Voted up++across and shared.

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      lol Vicki.. you should have seen her...it was all I could do to stop laughing. So good to see you! (hub hugs)

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      This is so funny! Oh, your poor mom! heehee. The cookies look good, too!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thank you justateacher! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)

    • justateacher profile image

      LaDena Campbell 5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Your mom sounds great!!! Another fun story!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thank you Vellur! Yes, she is. Never a dull moment raising her! LOL

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 5 years ago from Dubai

      LOL enjoyed reading, recipe is awesome, just like your mom.

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      lol.. we only have two people in our household! (does that make you feel better?) LOL

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      2 Days.....no chance! :o)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      lol Thanks Jools! I can relate to being in a house of cookie monsters! Mine never last more than 2 days either! :)

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Aw Lisa, your poor mam having everyone else stand on her scales! No wonder she didn't choose the Weigh 'Buddy', with friends like that, who needs enemies :o) Great cookie recipe as well. I love making home made cookies and they only ever last 1 day in this house, we are all cookie monsters.

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL Brian....Bless your sweet pea-pick'n little heart... You need need some brownie love? LOL

    • BRIAN SLATER profile image

      Brian Slater 5 years ago from Nottingham Uk

      Your not going to let me off for this are you. I'd better watch myself around you, silly me getting my cookies and brownies all mixed up.lol

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thanks Brian! Was that your apology? LOL How about Chocolate Chip Brownies? :)

    • BRIAN SLATER profile image

      Brian Slater 5 years ago from Nottingham Uk

      Hi Lisa, i like chocolate chip cookies!, but your brownies are even better. voted up :)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thank you beef jerky!:)

    • profile image

      beef jerky 5 years ago

      good information sharing i hope you more new information serve and write the hub

      http://www.cattleboyz.com/

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL Deborah... I had to! It was only befitting... dontcha think? LOL

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thank you Movie Master! I certainly appreciate your comments! :)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL Robin... I'm so happy you enjoyed it! I love that we are celebrating the same birthday! woo hoo! Happy Happy birthday my friend! :)

    • DeborahNeyens profile image

      Deborah Neyens 5 years ago from Iowa

      Hilarious! And I love how you conclude with a chocolate chip recipe. Great job!

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      This is so funny! I loved it - hilarious, now I am off to read Mum vs Cujo to find out who mum is!

      Voted up/funny

    • Robin Oatley profile image

      Robin Oatley 5 years ago

      This is so hilarious! I was laughing so hard that I had to explain to the people around me what the hell was going on! What a great way to start both our birthdays! ;)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thank you Tina! We do! Even though she is 3000 miles away from me, she still manages to make me laugh with her "ways" I'm happy you enjoyed the story! Have a great day! :)

    • thougtforce profile image

      Christina Lornemark 5 years ago from Sweden

      This is so funny! And you tell the story so good that I can really see you two in that store!

      Thanks you so much for another hub about your mom. You are both awesome and you must have so much fun together:) I loved this hub! Voted up and more!

      Tina

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL marellen! I'm so happy I could start your day of with crying! hehe. If you want a hint who mom is.. read MOM vs Cujo. She left a comment!..Ooo now we're on a treasure hunt! Sounds like fun! :)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thank you so much sgbrown! I'm so pleased you liked it! Have a great Monday! :)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thank you Carlon! So do I. My mom made sure I laughed everyday while growing up! :)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Cookies! I vote cookies! LOL :)

    • profile image

      marellen 5 years ago

      LOL.........What a great way to start my morning. Laughed so hard I have tears. I was right along with you both. Thanks for sharing with us. Now I need to figure out who your Mom is.....

    • sgbrown profile image

      Sheila Brown 5 years ago from Southern Oklahoma

      This is such a funny story! I'm sure she laughs about it now too. Thank you for sharing that with us! You started my Monday off with a good laugh. Voted up and funny. Have a good Monday! :)

    • Carlon Michelle profile image

      Carlon Michelle 5 years ago from USA

      Great memorie. I love to laugh in the morning. Smile!

    • RTalloni profile image

      RTalloni 5 years ago from the short journey

      Oh, poor Mom! At least now she knows what she wants! Too funny!

      So, now let's see--will I go to the scales or to the kitchen to make those 3 tablespoon sized cookies...

    • Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

      Marcy Goodfleisch 5 years ago from Planet Earth

      I'm sitting here laughing so hard I'm crying - that's a hilarious story! You just can't trust those lying gadgets, can you!

      Pretty clever - putting a chocolate cookie recipe at the end of a story about trying to lose weight. It might be a while before I try out this recipe. I think I shop at the same bed and bath store, and I don't want to accidentally trip over that scale!

      Voted up and funny!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL Sunnie Day! I am so happy you enjoyed it! I've had a few people who have told me how much they can relate to my mom and her "antics", especially after reading "Mom and Split Pea Soup." Bless her heart. Oh how I love her!

      Glad I could make you smile! :)

    • profile image

      Sunnie Day 5 years ago

      OMG! This was so funny! I enjoyed this very much! I have to admit I may have some of your mom's tendencies..so says my daughters...lol Thanks for the smiles :)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thank you my little missolive! Trust me, there were many echos!LOL Thanks for the votes and sharing! :)

    • missolive profile image

      Marisa Hammond Olivares 5 years ago from Texas

      Rusticliving - Lisa this is too funny. I have tears rolling down my face! LOL Thank you for that! :)

      What a great story! I pictured everything and heard every echo in the store! Its great to share a laugh with our mom's - thank you for sharing these fun moments with us.

      PS - you are so bad (but oh so good) to include the cookie recipe - thanks!

      Voted up and sharing!

    • gail641 profile image

      Gail Louise Stevenson 5 years ago from Mason City

      Very funny story about the talking weight scale. Beautiful photos and very colorful. The cookies really look good, too.

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thanks kelley! Those are really great cookies too. Have a great day! :)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL Susan! I'm so glad you liked it. SHe was too busy trying to make her getaway! Thanks for the votes and Shares! :)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thanks HSB! She is a hoot! I'll keep them coming as long as I can remember! LOL :)

    • profile image

      kelleyward 5 years ago

      ha ha! That was great. I love how you ended with a chocolate chip cookie recipe! Thanks for sharing.

    • sholland10 profile image

      Susan Holland 5 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      OMGOSH, LISA!! I am rolling! That so sounds like something that would happen to me and my daughter. I love the made for tv stuff. I am surprised your mom didn't hide it in the pillow bin!! This is a great story and to end it with a yummy chocolate chip cookie recipe... "Bad daughter!" LOL Did you take her out for ice cream after you left the store? LOL I am with Cindy, KEEP WRITING!! Great hub! Votes and SHARES!! :-)

    • homesteadbound profile image

      Cindy Murdoch 5 years ago from Texas

      This is so funny. You have so many fond memories of you and your mother, and now so do we. Keep writing. These are great.

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thank you YogaKat. I have so much fun writing them! :)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL Kelly. I know! When people find out, they just laugh and laugh. To read my mom's hubs, she is so spiritual, awesome and insightful! As a daughter, I felt it is my obligation to let people know the other side of VC. *ahem* Just saying

    • YogaKat profile image

      YogaKat 5 years ago from Oahu Hawaii

      Your Mom hubs are awesome. Keep writing them and I will keep reading. You have found your niche. The chocolate chip cookie recipe inserted before the amazon scales was heinous humor.

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL Linda! I know I am so bad and she is such a great aport about it! I've actually got her thinking of those "special moments" that I may have forgotten. Now THAT'S a MOM!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      LOL!!!! Lisa, you are hilarious!!! I'm so glad my daughters don't write on Hubpages!!! Audrey you are awesome!!!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Lisa! Omg - now I just figured out who your mom is - LUCKY! lol This is hilarious! I needed a good laugh too I tell you.

      I could totally imagine this scene and I was rotf:) But you know, I think I am gonna ask my mom to go shopping next week and I am gonna set her up! HAHA!