Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe:MOM and the Big Announcement
My mother has always had the uncanny knack at being in the right place, but at the wrong time.
In honor of my mother’s “timing ability” I would like to share this particular story with love.
One of my mother’s all time favorite places to shop is a popular bed and bath store. She always looks in the Sunday paper for their weekly sales and if she has saved her pennies, she would trot off for a rendezvous with the bath, kitchen or bedroom department.
This particular week, her focus would be in the bathroom department. She had seen this item on T.V. advertised for weeks and she couldn’t stop thinking about it. She wanted it with a passion; The “Weigh Buddy!” A super advanced multipurpose sleek lightweight animated bathroom scale! This scale could do it all! According to the advertisement, it would weigh you, measure your height, measure your Body Mass Index and even tell you “Good Morning.” All for the low price of 69.95!
Mom saved her money for two weeks and was so excited about getting the “Weigh Buddy” bathroom scale. You see, mom had joined Weight Watchers about three weeks prior and the only thing she was missing from her motivational journey of weight loss was this “state of the art” scale.
Hunting Down the Fox
We arrived at the store and it was extremely busy due to the sale. A sales clerk directed us over to the bathroom department where they had the infamous “Weigh Buddy” along with the standard scales. There were dozens of them, spread out all over the floor for the sale. Mom went in and out of each row of the weighing devices like a blood hound, sniffing out the fox. “I found it!” Mom yelled across the aisle. There it was! The scale of all scales! The “Mother Lode” (Sorry, couldn’t help myself.) Looking just like the one on T.V., white, sleek, lightweight, and with a neck that came up to your waist for easy set up and manipulation. The floor model had batteries already in it so customers could try it out.
Motivational Talking Scale
The Big Announcement!
Before mom stepped on the scale to try it out, she began to push a lot of buttons on the face of the panel.
Me (eyebrows raised): What the heck are you doing?
Mom (with her tongue clenched between her teeth in total concentration): You have to set it up properly with the correct information before you weigh yourself or it won’t register correctly.
Me (Still eyebrows raised): Are you sure? How do you know that?
Mom (with know-it-all voice): I’ve seen it a hundred times on T.V. (Déjà Vu: Where have I heard THAT before?)
Me (not quite understanding the logic): Can’t you just buy one and set that one up at home?
Mom (with determination): No! Besides, I want to make sure it works!
*Of course, it didn’t sink in that the one she’ll be taking home is not the floor model*
Mom (as if she’s done this a hundred times): You have to enter in your first name and what greeting you want! Which one should I put? They have “Good Morning”, “Hello”, and “Welcome Back.” Or, I could tell the scale to say all three greetings randomly.
Me (somewhat curious): How about all three! That would be cool!
Mom sets the scale to randomly say all three greetings and without hesitation proceeds to step on the scale.
Without checking the volume setting, the whole store was awakened to:
Scale (in computer voice): GOOD MORNING AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 165 POUNDS, YOUR BMI IS 30. HAVE A NICE DAY!
Mom (extremely embarrassed due to the fact that she just knew everyone in the store heard that!): Oh my gosh! How do you turn it down?
Accidently stepping on the scale again.
Scale (still in computer voice): WELCOME BACK AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 166 POUNDS, YOUR BMI IS 35. HAVE A NICE DAY!
Me (laughing and hiding behind the towels)
Mom (very embarrassed and somewhat miffed): Lisa! Get over here! Help me!
Me (still laughing)
Mom was frantically pushing buttons trying to turn it off, or make it change information, or something, and once again accidently steps on the scale for the second time.
Scale (louder computer voice): HELLO AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 185 POUNDS, YOUR BMI IS 25. HAVE A NICE DAY!
Mom (still pushing buttons): This damn scale is lying! It Lies!!!! I don’t want this one anymore, just grab that one over there Lisa and let’s go!
I grabbed the standard digital scale on sale for 15.99. No voice, no whistles, no “Have a nice day,” just plain old-fashioned, run of the mill digital scale.
As we headed for the check out (half way across the store) we hear:
Scale (haunting computer voice): “HELLO AUDREY. YOUR WEIGHT IS 220 POUNDS. YOUR BMI is 30. HAVE A NICE DAY! “WELCOME BACK AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 230 POUNDS. YOUR BMI IS 31. HAVE A NICE DAY!
It appeared that there were others who were trying the “new invention” out as well, however didn’t bother changing the info. By now I was laughing so hard I could barely keep up with my mom’s fast getaway.
As we approached the checkout, the clerk, who directed us to the scales earlier, noticed my mom carrying a different scale than the one she inquired about.
Clerk (happy sales pitch voice): didn’t you find the “Weigh Buddy?”
Scale (annoying computer voice): HELLO AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 298! YOUR BMI IS 35! HAVE A NICE DAY!
Mom (matter of fact): Yes, I want this one! The other one lies!
Clerk (concerned): Lies?
Scale (from across the store): WELCOME BACK AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 250! YOUR BMI IS 28! HAVE A NICE DAY!
Clerk (Still trying to make a sale): This scale doesn’t have any of the features of the “Weigh Buddy.” Are you sure you still want this one?
Mom (smiling with clenched teeth, ready to deck the clerk for keeping her there) Yes! This one is guaranteed to keep its mouth shut!
Scale (sarcastic computer voice): WELCOME BACK AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 248 POUNDS. YOUR BMI IS 28. HAVE A NICE DAY!
The clerk finished up the sale and in a defeated, yet pleasant voice:
Clerk: Thank you for shopping with us! HAVE A NICE DAY!
Scale (as we head out the door): WELCOME BACK AUDREY! YOUR WEIGHT IS 350 POUNDS. Your BMI is 39. Have a nice day!
Prep and Baking Time
Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies
- 1 3/4 cups (8-3/4 ounces) all-purpose flour
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 3/4 cup packed (51/4 ounces) dark brown sugar
- 1/2 cup (31/2 ounces) granulated sugar
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1 large egg plus 1 large yolk
- 1 1/4 cups (71/2 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips or chunks
- 3/4 cup pecans or walnuts, toasted and chopped (optional)
- Preparation Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 375 degrees F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. Whisk flour and baking soda together in medium bowl; set aside.
- Melt 10 tablespoons butter in 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat. Continue cooking, swirling pan constantly, until butter is dark golden brown and has nutty aroma, 1 to 3 minutes. Transfer browned butter to large heatproof bowl. Add remaining 4 tablespoons butter and stir until completely melted.
- Add brown sugar, granulated sugar, salt, and vanilla to melted butter; whisk until fully incorporated. Add egg and egg yolk; whisk until mixture is smooth with no sugar lumps remaining, about 30 seconds. Let mixture stand for 3 minutes, then whisk for 30 seconds. Repeat process of resting and whisking 2 more times until mixture is thick, smooth, and shiny. Using rubber spatula, stir in flour mixture until just combined, about 1 minute. Stir in chocolate chips and nuts, if using. Give dough final stir to ensure that no flour pockets remain and ingredients are evenly distributed.
- Working with 3 tablespoons of dough at a time, roll into balls and place 2 inches apart on prepared baking sheets.
- Bake 1 sheet at a time until cookies are golden brown and still puffy and edges have begun to set but centers are still soft, 10 to 14 minutes, rotating baking sheet halfway through baking. Transfer baking sheet to wire rack; let cookies cool to room temperature.
- Tips Avoid using a nonstick skillet to brown the butter; the dark color of the nonstick coating makes it difficult to gauge when the butter is sufficiently browned.
- Use fresh, moist brown sugar, as hardened brown sugar will make the cookies too dry.
- This recipe works with light brown sugar, but the cookies will be less full-flavored
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About the Author
Lisa has directed and acted in musical theatre for nearly 30 years. Her musical upbringing allowed her to pursue her career in teaching and directing and continues to direct shows today. As the owner of 2 online Home Décor sites, Lisa’s passion for Rustic Living all begins with her love for the home, outdoors, and her many hobbies. Lisa loves to laugh, and she share’s that love through her comedic hubs centered on her MOM. Lisa’s passions include writing, directing, acting, photography, singing, cooking, crafts, gardening, and home improvement, including decorating. Lisa also writes under her penned name, Elizabeth Rayen.
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