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MOM vs CUJO: Why you should never brush your teeth with Preparation H

Updated on October 30, 2016
Mom vs Cujo
Mom vs Cujo | Source
Source

All You Need is Family

Let me begin by telling you this. Here I am, all grown up and married, finally free of mother and her antics. I am WOMAN hear me ROAR! The only problem with that is… Mother’s ROAR is louder!

It was Christmas 1992; just four months after Hurricane Iniki hit Kauai straight on. The island was well under way of the massive cleanup that would continue for the next 5 years. Fortunately, we didn’t suffer too much personal damage and we were prepared in other areas.

My husband worked for the barge company that was bringing in supplies, machinery, and just about anything that was needed to replenish and clean the island. The barge companies were working 24/7 and I barely saw my husband. With the whole island in disarray, and family members constantly gone doing their part to clean up, emotions and stress were a big factor on the island.

To help ease the stress, we thought it would be a good idea to fly my mom, my aunt (mom’s sister), and my baby brother over to Kauai from the mainland to spend Christmas with us.

It was the Saturday before Christmas and I was hurriedly preparing the house before I had to get to the airport to pick up the happy trio.

I cleaned, and polished, and prepared their rooms. Shopping was done, tree decorated, presents wrapped, and even the dog got a bath. It was going to be a great Christmas! Nothing could ruin it, because I was going to have my family here with me! Nothing could go wrong. Nothing! Ya, right!

Source

MOM vs. CUJO

We all got back to the house, mom and auntie unpacked and I showed them around the house and made sure they were comfortable. I started dinner and waited for hubby to come home.

Once hubby reached home and washed up, we had a wonderful dinner and sat around joking, “talking story”, and even listening to my mom and her sister bicker a little. (Actually, that was a little amusing in itself).

As the evening drew nearer, hubby and I retired to our room to watch a little TV. We heard the “family” getting ready for bed and settling in for the evening.

As we were discussing the next days activities , we heard a loud scream come from the hallway!

Lissssssaaaaaaaa!!!!!! The door burst open and standing there in the doorway was ………CUJO!

With eyes big as pizzas, curlers in her hair, face cream plastered on, toothpaste in her left hand and toothbrush in her right, this 5’2” human being I call “Mother” with rabies had foam gushing out of her mouth as if someone was inside her mouth shooting off a whipped cream can.

“My mouth is on fire”, she yelled, as foam spewed everywhere!

“Wha kina toofpayst ish thish? Mom throws the tube at hubby.

“It woon’t shtop commin!” I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There was foam everywhere!

I asked her where she got the toothpaste, and pointed to the medicine cabinet’s top shelf.

“Mom!, that’s not where I keep the toothpaste!” “The toothpaste is right here on the counter! Plain as the foam coming out of your mouth!”

“I didn’ hov mah glasshes on!, she said. Spitting into the sink, “I hawd a heel of a time tryin to fine jor toofpeeste. (*Spitting) “Whawt da heel”???!!! (*Spitting more and wiping mouth) “Mi mouf fills foony! Ish awl tite!”

I noticed that her speech began to sound really funny and sort of “tight lipped.”


Source

Just then, I heard the loudest roar of laughter come from my bedroom. I ran into the room and I thought hubby was having a seizure. “What? What is it?” My little brother comes in and takes the tube from hubby. My brother begins to laugh uncontrollably!

“Your *laughter* *cough* mother just *laughter* brushed her teeth *cough cough laughter* with *laughing hysterically* Preparation “H”!!!!!” (Hubby falls off the bed laughing)

“What?”, cried mother. “Thash impooshible!!!”

There it was; the bright blue and yellow tube; “Guaranteed to shrink your hole!”

Trying to hold in my laughter and be the good daughter that I’m supposed to be, I called the 800 Hotline Poison Control Center.

Conversation with Poison Control

Poison Control Advisor (Very serious voice): This is the Poison Control Center, how may I help you?

Me: Hello, how are you? *chuckling* Merry Christmas!

Poison Control Advisor (Very serious voice): Thank you. How may I help you?

Me: Well, *slight chuckle under my breath* my mother has seemed to have brushed her teeth *chuckle* with..um.. Preparation “H” *laughing a little harder*

Poison Control Advisor (Very serious voice): Where is she now, Ma’am?

Me: *laughing* She’s in the bathroom rinsing her mouth *laughing* but the more she rinses the more foam it produces.

Just then mom looks up at me and I swear if I wouldn’t have seen her eyes, I swear I was looking at the back end of a turkey!

Me: *laughing* Her mouth just puckered shut!

Source

Poison Control Advisor (Very serious voice): Ma’am, do you have any popsicles?

Me: Yes, but what does that have to do with my mom’s puckered mouth?

Poison Control Advisor (Very serious voice): Ma’am, your mother needs to suck on one. Tell your mother to go suck it now!

Me: “Mom!” the Advisor said to go suck it!”

Mom: Suck what?

(Hubby and brother are now having a hard time breathing from laughing so hard)

Me: A Popsicle!

Aunt: Can I have one too? I’m in the mood for a popsicle!

Poison Control Advisor (Very serious voice): Ma’am, she also needs to drink cold milk.

Me: “Mom, drink cold milk too!”

Aunt: I hate milk!

Me: I don’t care auntie!

Poison Control Advisor (Very serious voice): Is she sucking and drinking?

Me: “Mom, are you sucking and drinking?”

Mom: At the same time?

Aunt: I used to date a guy who could do that!

(Hubby and brother still on floor… no help whatsoever!)

Me: No, just drink the milk and then suck on the popsicle! *laughing*

Me: How long does she have to suck and drink?

Poison Control Advisor (Very serious voice): Until the burning subsides. You will need to let her know that the Preparation “H” most likely burnt her taste buds, so she won’t be able to taste anything for about a week.

Me: Thank you, I will tell her that. Merry Christmas!

Poison Control Advisor (Very serious voice): Be sure to have her see a Dr. if the burning persists. Merry Christmas and good luck.

Me: Trust me! I will need it when I tell her that she won’t be able to taste the turkey!

Mom and auntie are sitting in the living room sucking on popsicles, hubby and brother are both now passed out on floor from laughter exhaustion.

I’m thinking that the hurricane was nothing compared to this!

*note: no mothers or animals were injured in any way!

Yummy Whipped Cream Topping

Use this sweetened whipped cream topping for cream pie topping or serve with gingerbread, cobbler, or other desserts.

Whipping Time

Prep time: 5 min
Ready in: 5 min
Yields: Makes Approximate 2 cups (Whipped)
5 stars from 2 ratings of Yummy Whipped Cream Topping

Ingredients

  • 1 cup heavy cream
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla

Instructions

  1. Whip cream until almost stiff. Add sugar and vanilla; beat until cream holds peaks. Spread over top of cooled pie or dollop on bread pudding, gingerbread, cobblers, or other desserts.
Elizabeth Rayen
Elizabeth Rayen | Source

About the Author

Lisa has directed and acted in musical theatre for nearly 30 years. Her musical upbringing allowed her to pursue her career in teaching and directing and continues to direct shows today. As the owner of 2 online Home Décor sites, Lisa’s passion for Rustic Living all begins with her love for the home, outdoors, and her many hobbies. Lisa loves to laugh, and she share’s that love through her comedic hubs centered on her MOM. Lisa’s passions include writing, directing, acting, photography, singing, cooking, crafts, gardening, and home improvement, including decorating. Lisa also writes under her penned name, Elizabeth Rayen.

If you have a passion for writing and would like to earn money by writing for Hub Pages, Join today ~ It's Fast, Easy, & FREE!

Comments: Mom vs Cujo: Why You Should Never Brush Your Teeth with Preparation H

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    • Rusticliving profile image
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      Elizabeth Rayen 12 months ago from California

      Sunshine.. and yet another birthday has passed since your comment... (trying to get back in the game! :)

      mary615.. OMG... too funny.. I bet you had the tightest facelift EVER!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 2 years ago from Florida

      What a delightful story! I read that Prep. H was good for the skin, so I applied it all over my face one night. It smelled so bad, I had to wash my face pronto!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 2 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Happy Birthday to Mom (Audrey Hunt - vocalcoach) :))

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 4 years ago from California

      *L* Cyndi (cclitgirl) I saw the posts! You are so funny. I couldn't believe that Kelly's hubby almost did the same thing. I love so much how you love this story. I can just picture you sitting there reading it out loud to everyone! You are so precious my little hummingbird! ♥

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 4 years ago from California

      lol Crystal Tatum... I know.. my mother was indeed in a lot of discomfort for about a week. But one good thing came out of it.. she ALWAYS checks her tubes before brushing! *wink*

    • Crystal Tatum profile image

      Crystal Tatum 4 years ago from Georgia

      Hilarious -for everyone but your poor mother!!

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Sageleaf 4 years ago from Western NC

      OMG - we were talking over on FB and I had to come back over here and read this. OMG - I laugh and laugh AND ROTFL until tears are streaming down my face every freaking time I read this. HAHAHAHAHA. You make me smile. :)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 4 years ago from California

      *LOL* Leslie (ImKarn23).. you are too funny. I'm very happy that this escapade of my mother brought a giggle or two to you. She is a character, that's for sure. The only thing I regret is that I didn't get a picture of her with all that foam escaping from her mouth! Thanks for the shares! ♥

    • ImKarn23 profile image

      Karen Silverman 4 years ago

      O M G!!! If i could stop laughing, i'd make a somewhat intelligen comment, but..

      hang on..

      just a sec...

      ohgod..

      i think you'd best move on to the next - i cannot get myself under control..

      hic..

      seriously though, if you don't write something BIG - it's a sheer waste of talent. This was HA-Ha-Ha-LARIOUS!

      sharing/loving!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 4 years ago from California

      Hehehe Beth... I aim to please! Glad you liked it!♥

    • profile image

      Beth100 4 years ago

      LOL. Laughter is exactly what I needed tonight!! Thx!

    • Theater girl profile image

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      I will take you up on that! Thx and blessings to you !

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 4 years ago from California

      hehehe... Thank you Theater girl! She is a delight and have loved writing about her antics. If you have enough laughing tears left.. You will love Mom and Split Pea Soup. I just can't make this stuff up! lol I was really happy to have found you and look forward to reading your work. ♥

    • Theater girl profile image

      Jennifer 4 years ago from New Jersey

      Absolutely wonderful! I laughed till tears came! I have seen your mom on here...and I am delighted to find you as well. Also, thank you for following me and I appreciate the support!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 4 years ago from California

      lol.. OMG Sally.. that is too funny... I am certainly happy that you have taken every precaution with your "tubes"..lol

      Glad you like the whipped cream recipe surprise at the end. I like to surprise everyone with something at the end of my MOM hubs. If you want a recipe designed for the "adult" in you.. read MOM and the Great Shake Down... It's my favorite drink *evil grin* On a more serious note: My thoughts and prayers go out to your mom and having to deal with the devastation of Sandy. I'm so glad she has her family to help her and I hope everything will get back to normal for her as soon as possible! ♥

    • Sally's Trove profile image

      Sherri 4 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

      This hub and the comments are hysterical. My mom's staying with me for an indeterminate time, having been displaced from her home by Hurricane Sandy. After reading your hub, I removed all products from the bathroom that might resemble toothpaste tubes.

      Can't hardly believe this is a recipe for whipped cream. LOLOLOLOL and more LOLs. Great read!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 4 years ago from California

      Oh no Nell.... lol that's too funny. I'm glad he was ok! Glad I could make you laugh.. :) ♥

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Thanks for the late night chuckle! this was hilarious! mind you it did bring back memories of when my husband cleaned my sons teeth with thrush cream!!! true story! we phoned the hospital etc, and yes it was fine, caused a good laugh too, and it didn't hurt him but....! lol!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 4 years ago from California

      lol Linda.. I'm glad I could help out! Thanks for the shares :)

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Stopped by for a laugh and of course it was a success! Haha!!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment Karen! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. :)

    • Karen Hellier profile image

      Karen Hellier 5 years ago from Georgia

      This was really, really funny. It was great how you started the story, went back and told us the background, then joined the story again. Great technique! I especially liked how you didn't tell readers immediately what she brushed her teeth with. That kept the suspense going. I needed a good laugh tonight and the drinking and sucking part gave me that laugh!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL Susan. I am so happy you enjoyed this! It makes me so happy when people get a good laugh with my MOM hubs! Don't worry about mom... she reads them all the time and calls me to see who's enjoying them! LOL

      Thanks for the wonderful compliment. :)

    • sholland10 profile image

      Susan Holland 5 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      OH MY GOSH, Lisa! This is hysterical... sorry Audrey... To think of your beautiful mother foaming at the mouth because of Preparation H... LOL Your dialogue is superb, mimicking what she sounded like. You should send this in for a sitcom pilot!! Your aunt's comments are so nonchalant as if nothing is going on. She must be the "straight man" in the comedy team. LOL

      Great Hub! Votes across... especially USEFUL as I now know what Prep H will do to you if you brush your teeth with it. LOL Definitely shared!!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      lol... Thanks Jools! Glad ya enjoyed it! :)

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 5 years ago from North-East UK

      Lisa, great hub, laugh out loud funny and your hubby's dialogue had me in fits (you know which line I mean...). Really enjoyed it, voted up and shared.

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      I've heard of that as well Mary. I have never tried it though. LOL Yes, you're right, my mom is wonderful....and wonderfully crazy! :)

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 5 years ago from Florida

      What a wonderful gal your Mom is (we all know that!). My girl friend and I read once that Prep H was good for wrinkles. We put it on our faces,. It didn't get rid of the wrinkles!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      OMG...Cyndi you are so funny!!!! Can you say "Depends"????? You are such a sweety.. glad you discovered the recipe the 2nd time... hehhe

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      hehehe Vicki... Glad you enjoyed it! Ya, that poison control guy took it very serious... hehehhehehe

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Sageleaf 5 years ago from Western NC

      Okay, I came back a SECOND time and just re-read this. I'm still all teared up. I missed the recipe the first time - don't know how - but I think it was because I about fell out the chair and messed myself. Egads, this hub has to go under my favorites and I'll pull it up whenever I need a laugh. Hahaha.

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      lol sgbrown..... I should put a *Warning sign* at the beginning to tell everyone to not eat, drink, or wear makeup before reading....LOL I'm happy you enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun writing it! :)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL.. you are actually about the 10th person who has told me that! I'm not sure the world is ready for her..hehhe

      Don't you like whipped cream???? lol Thanks so much Docmo! :)

    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      I laughed outloud on this one. Gosh, this is so funny! Oh, what the poison control guy said . . . Lol!

    • sgbrown profile image

      Sheila Brown 5 years ago from Southern Oklahoma

      I laughed so hard I had mascara running down my face! Seriously, I had to stop reading and get a tissue! I could just imagine if that were my mom, OMG! This is one of those stories that will last in your family for ever! I love this, voted up and funny, funny, funny! :)

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 5 years ago from UK

      You should write a sitcom about your mom. I love the conversation between you and poison control officer and your aunts interjections.. hilarious! And what's with the whipped cream at the end.. you crafty soul.. its cracking me up so much!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      OMG Audrey... I hope you never make that mistake! LOL :)

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      Yikes!! Now I know what to do when I make a mistake!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL Bill... Thanks! I figured if you are going to take the time to read the antics of my mother, I could at least reward you with a recipe! :)

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I don't know which was funnier...the story or putting a recipe on at the end. This was over the top funny, Lisa!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      lmao Cyndi. I'm glad you enjoyed it. My mom and I have a good laugh every time we talk about it. I still giggle when I think about it. Just be sure that when you share it at TG.. to do it before everyone eats....LOL Love ya!

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Sageleaf 5 years ago from Western NC

      Oh my god! I am wiping away tears here! This is too freakin' HILARIOUS!! Everyone on HP needs to read this - SERIOUSLY!! HAHAHAHA. OMG - this is just priceless! I don't want to say anything in the comments b/c I don't want to "give away" what happens, but your sense of humor is UNPARALLELED!! This is beyond funny - I'm going to have to share this at Thanksgiving! HAHAHA.

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      hehehehe... Susan. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen. My Aunt didn't help the situation either! LOL :)

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      OMG I can't stop laughing! This was hysterical. It's good to know what to do though in case anyone I know brushes their teeth with PrepH.

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      OMG JamaGenee! I am laughing so hard! I would LOVE to meet your firend Penny and her "Peter!" God Bless her laughing spirit and God bless you for sharing my stories with her! :)

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      Rustic, "Peter" keeps Penny's mind sharp. Since his programming doesn't include to pronounce twitterisms like "lol" or "btw" as separate letters, or convert abbreviations like Mar for March, etc, Penny has gotten quite good as figuring out what the sender really means. I make it a point not to use abbreviations and put a space between the letters of a twitterism, to force Peter to pronounce them the way they're intended. That said, I may spell out P-O-O-P-Y and then call Penny to see what Peter does with it. Actually, I should have her also re-play Peter reading your mom's garbled mumblings when she was foaming at the mouth just to hear how he handled it!

      I should mention she and I see no reason she couldn't still be driving if she could get one of those cars equipped with Braille steering wheels. They must be out there since every ATM has Braille on the keypad, right? hehe ;D

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thank you Lyn.Stewart. You hit it right on the head... I definitely try to see the lighter side of any situation (thanks to my mother) Thank you for your visit and votes! :)

    • Lyn.Stewart profile image

      Lyn.Stewart 5 years ago from Auckland, New Zealand

      This is soo funny. I can imagine what a hoot it must have been growing up. Your mum has definitely taught you to see the funny side of situations. voted up etc.

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      OMG JamaGenee! That is tooo tooo funny! I can also picture in my mind "Peters" voice reading Penny the story. Send her the Pea Soup story as well.. can you hear Peter saying, "P-O-O-P-Y?" LOL

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      Rustic, I just had to come back and tell you how this hub brightened my friend Penny's day. Penny is 86-going-on-40, but legally blind for the last 10 years due to macular degeneration. She can see just enough to write/send emails, but has a software program that reads emails sent to her. She calls the voice that reads them "Peter". She'd dearly love to surf the web, but Peter is hopeless on websites because "he" tries to read everything: URLs, ads, etc. Penny was an RN for years and has a terrific sense of humor.

      Yesterday I pasted the text from this hub into an email to her (with a warning that it's copyrighted and NOT to forward it to anyone else, and she won't).

      Well, she "nearly fell off her chair laughing!". Then I had a vision of Peter reading it in the monotone that computer-generated voices employ, and that made ME bust out laughing all over again!

      Next I'm sending Penny "Mom and the Peanut Butter Shake"! hehe ;D

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL Tom! I never thought of it that way. I remember looking on the PrepH box and seeing the poison control hotline #, so of course my first thought (well, my second thought...you don't want to know what my first thought was)was to call them. Maybe they hired one guy to just KNOW how to treat "Brushing your teeth with Prep H"...LOL

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thank you so much for that wonderful compliment maggs. I love telling stories (perhaps it's the actress in me). My mother siad I should become a stand-up comedian and tell my stories about her and the family. My reply was always, "Who'd laugh at it?" LOL Thank you for you comment and votes.:)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL JamaGenee. I love it when I see people enjoy these MOM hubs. She is an amazing woman and to know her is to know exactly where I am coming from. This woman has given me nothing but embarrassing joy my whole life and I would not want it any other way! :)

    • Tom Koecke profile image

      Tom Koecke 5 years ago from Tacoma, Washington

      When she was telling you her mouth was burning, I thought she might have used Ben Gay. It's probably best, though, that it was Preparation H!

      What is funnier than that, however, is that the poison control guy knew how to treat it!

      Funny hub! Thanks for sharing the story!

    • maggs224 profile image

      maggs224 5 years ago from Sunny Spain

      What a wonderful story it made me smile as I read it, you have a fabulous way with words you draw your reader right in there with you I forgot I was reading it was like I was there watching it all unfold before my own eyes. You have a rare gift thanks for sharing.

      I am voting up and hitting all the relevant buttons on my way out :D

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 5 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      This is absolutely THE MOST hilarious "Mom" installment so far!!!! Beings it's the wee hours, I managed to laugh "quietly" at the ones before so as not to wake up the neighbor. But the image of your mother standing there in curlers and face cream with foam spewing everywhere made me laugh so hard and loud, not a doubt in my mind Neighbor is wide awake now! If he had any thought of turning over and going back to sleep, the call to PC that made me burst out laughing AGAIN surely nixed that!

      I must secretly want to get evicted for disturbing the peace, because I'm off to read ANOTHER "Mom Funny". ;D

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      It's so comforting to know that someone else has gone through the same PH laugh-a-thon with the wonderment of just HOW that potent tiny tube of cream ends up in our mother's hands! Thank you for sharing that with me Rolly! ((HUGS))

    • Rolly A Chabot profile image

      Rolly A Chabot 5 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Laughing so hard I again find myself in need of help to get up off the floor. Oh that is a good one indeed. Thank you for sharing it and sorry to hear that Mom had to go through this.

      Preparation H has many uses... I have always had a twisted side and recall once telling Mom that it could be used for wrinkles. I watched in horror as she smeared a liberal dose around her face and within a few minutes was heading to the bathroom and Dad and I laughed uncontrollably.

      Hugs and more from Canada

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL Audra. I'm glad you got a good laugh. I still laugh about it when I think of that night. My mom... no words to describe! :)

    • profile image

      iamaudraleigh 5 years ago

      Your hub sincerely made me laugh this morning...LOL Loved it!!!

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      I'm off to check out Mom and spilt pea soup......

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Thank you Movie Master. I appreciate that. If you would like one more giggle.. Mom and Spilt Pea soup seems to be the popular one among everyone...I'm just sayin. LOL:)

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      I'm laughing so much - brilliant absolutely brilliant!

      Voted up and a big thank you!

    • profile image

      marellen 5 years ago

      Thanks Lisa, you have a great day too and enjoy this weather.

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      :) Thank you marellen. I was hoping you would enjoy it. My mom is a wonderful writer as well. Have a wonderful day!

    • profile image

      marellen 5 years ago

      Another great funny hub and I'm now following you and your Mom. My daughter and I have a wonderful relationship too and I know she could write her share of my 'funnies' too. Can't wait to read more...

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      heheh. Thanks HSB! You should have seen me writing the hub! Thank you for sharing it! :-)

    • homesteadbound profile image

      Cindy Murdoch 5 years ago from Texas

      This was absolutely one of the funniest things I have ever read. I was laughing out loud. I am definitely sharing this one!

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL. Oh how funny you are. PC was so serious with me. I don't think they appreciated all the laughter going on. What I didn't include in my conversation with them was all the apologizing I was doing! LOL Thanks so much for your great comment!

    • Ardie profile image

      Sondra 5 years ago from Neverland

      I'm so embarrassed to admit I was laughing like an idiot in the main lobby at work which includes the 2nd story balcony, talk about an echo! Hahah I can't get over the Poison Control phone call. What's amazing is that this must happen often enough since PC knew just what to do!!!!!! Hilarious stuff.

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Ohhhh I hope so mom. You and I have had our share of making smiles, but you are the master! Love you! :-)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      hehehe.. now of course, I wasn't thinking the same thing Poohgranma! Nope, wasn't think'n it! LOL Glad I made ya smile! :-)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL riaha. It makes me so happy to know that I accomplished what I set out to do, and that is to make you laugh and smile at life! Thank you so much for the vote! :-)

    • Rusticliving profile image
      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Oh Thank you so much pherj! That really makes me happy that you enjoyed it. I love writing about my family, particularly my mom. I don't think I've known anyone quite like her who could get into so much trouble. Sort of a modern day Lucy! LOL thank you for the vote! :-)

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      Audrey Hunt 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Well, young lady...I must admit that it's a whole lotta fun being your mother. You have a great talent for bringing back old memories and shaping them into first rate, hilarious reading.

      Laughter is good for us and keeps us healthy. If you keep writing like this, you're readers will live to be 100+ !

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      Poohgranma 5 years ago from On the edge

      Seems like "karma" caught up with her for the bathroom antics you wrote of in your hub, "Mom and Split-pea soup!" This was a side splitter! (too)

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      rlaha 5 years ago from Spartanburg, SC

      Oh my! I just about fell off from my chair because I was laughing so hard! I know, it wasn't funny for your mom, but just thinking about it is making me giggle again! Hahaha! Great story! Voted up, awesome and funny!!

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      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Rusticliving.....Way tooooo funny. I envisioned your story, picturing this happening to my own mother (rest her soul) and I definitely would have laughed until I passed out....You couldn't have hired entertainment better than that for the evening!! Up + FUNNY

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      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      hahahaha. I'm so glad you like it. You are the perfect "muse." Thanks for the vote :-)

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      Audrey Hunt 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      This is the funniest story I've ever heard! Honored to be your muse! My vocal student just read this and laughed so hard she just couldn't contain herself. She's rescheduled her lesson for tomorrow!

      Obviously I voted up and more.You should be writing for "Saturday Night Live."

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      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      haha.. no she didn't! Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :-)

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      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      This was side splitting! I couldn't imagine what I was in for by the title. I would imagine your husband and brother laughing for weeks. Did your mother ever come back to visit ;) Voted up and funny and SHARED.

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      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      12 ??? Oh my! Poor woman. Haha!

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      Author

      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      LOL. I know. I did too.. but ya really had to be there. She was fine. She ended up eating 12 popsicles! too funny! Thanks :-)

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      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Awwww I felt bad for your mom! Your aunt was a hoot! Now I have to watch one of my favorite movies Cujo! FUNNY stuff!! Keep them coming!!