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Man vs Food

Updated on March 11, 2010

Do men have eating disorders? Do they sometimes go to extremes? The answer is yes and yes. That's right, men suffer from the compulsion to eat more than necessary too! I wanted to create another hub, but I wanted it to be short, sweet and to the point. So here it is, my idea of a quickdraw hub! Hope you like it.

I keep seeing the fastfood commercials on television while watching the horrible news on there about the terrible disaster in Haiti. God forgive me, but those food commercials were getting to me and I found myself urged to jump in my truck and head straight over to the local fastfood joint and load up, like there would be no tomorrow. Luckily, the urged subsided as quickly as it came on.Thank you Lord! Can anyone relate to this craziness? Utter insanity is the only way to describe it.

I have included a very nice poem below that is amazing. I like it and I hope you do also.It is kind of humorous in a special way.

Lord help us all to not be glutenous in our eating habits and let us have the patience to weather through those times of extreme craving of anything our bodies think that it has need of.

The Fat Man's Prayer

Lord, my soul is ripped with riot,

Incited by my wicked diet.

We are what we eat, said a wise old man,

And Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can!

I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain,

But at my present weight, I'll need a crane!

So grant me strength that I may not fall

Into the clutches of cholesterol.

May my flesh with carrot curls be sated

That my soul may be polyunsaturated.

And show me the light that I may bear witness

To the President's Council on Physical Fitness.

At oleomargarine I'll never mutter,

For the road to hell is spread with butter.

And cake is cursed, and cream is awful,

And Satan is hiding in every waffle.

Mephistopheles lurks in provolone,

The devil is in each slice of bologna,

Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,

And Lucifer is a lollipop!

Give me this day my daily slice -

But cut it thin and toast it twice.

I beg upon my dimpled knees,

Deliver me from Jujubees.

And my when days of trial are done

And my war with malted milks is won,

Let me stand with the saints in heaven

In a shining robe - Size 37!

I can do it, Lord, if you'll show to me

The virtues of lettuce and celery.

If you'll teach me the evils of mayonnaise,

The sinfulness of hollandaise

And pasta a la milanese

And potatoes a la lyonaise

And crisp fried chicken from the south!

Lord, if you love me, SHUT MY MOUTH!

Victor Buono

Thanks to Victor for this awesome poem!

I'm hungry now, off to the kitchen I go!


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    • Artin2010 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Northwestern Florida, Gulfcoast

      Thank you Michelle for your comment, I'm glad that you stumbled onto my short hub! Some of us are living to eat and others are eating to live and be healthy. Blessings!

    • Michelle Callis profile image

      Michelle Callis 

      8 years ago from USA

      Thank you for this post! I liked your title and what a great poem selection! My middle son, a highschooler has taken a recent interest in the "Man vs. Food" TV show. And I'll be honest, I am a sucker for really good food! I love to travel to new places for the culture and cuisine. But, I was abhored by the approach of that program. As you mentioned above - gluttony was the first word that came to my mind. And men are not the only ones given to extremes. We females can be just bad! Whether a stick figure or bouncy ball, I think we've all done the comfort eating thing. It seems to run in family generations as well and not stictly on impulse.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Commercial are a very real trigger for eating. It's amazing how many images and messages we get from TV telling us to eat. Thanks for the enjoyable read.

    • Artin2010 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Northwestern Florida, Gulfcoast

      Thank you Pastor Andrew and V_Kahler for reading my hub. I found this poem to be unique charmingly witty. I hope that it didn't make you hungry as it did for me. I think about food and wala hunger is in my tummy!

    • v_kahleranderson profile image


      8 years ago from San Jose, California

      Such a lovely poem. It put a smile on my face. Thank you for sharing!

    • PastorAndrew profile image

      Andrew Grosjean 

      8 years ago from Detroit

      I loved it, and needed it. Lord, help me to shut my mouth.


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