Mom and Split Pea Soup
We All Have One!
Have you ever had a relative that could just embarrass the snot out of you? I think we all have one hidden away somewhere in one of our closets. I DO! However, mine isn’t hiding in any closet! She’s out in the wide open world. Now mind you, she’s not quite as “bad” (and I use that word loosely) as she was when I was a teenager!
Ahhhh yes….. I was a teenager when it happened and like any teenager, your parents can and WILL take any opportunity to embarrass their children at least once while you’re growing up. Hence, mine was no different. I think my mother went to the school of “Parenting; the joys of embarrassing your kid in three easy steps.”
My mother had many many…..many..m-a-n-y times of assisting me in keeping my face red. This particular time I believe ranks right up there with “Oh God, Just Shoot Me Now!”
My mother loved to go away for the weekends and surprise us kids with a trip to Disneyland, or to a new town we haven’t been before. She was great at the spontaneity thing. We all loved it and were always wondering where she would take us next.
I remember one time she wanted to take us to see the fields of wild flowers (somewhere in California.) It was supposed to be miles and miles of fields with nothing but wild flowers of all different colors and species. We drove for what seemed like days, but actually had only been driving for about three hours. She kept driving, bound and determined to find the wild flowers!
We never found them, only later to find out that we were three months too late. It’s called SPRING mother! As she came to the conclusion that there were no flowers to be found, she stopped the car abruptly, made a U-Turn in the middle of the desert and proceded to head back to whence we came, when out of nowhere she proclaimed, “The wild flowers will have to wait till next year! Today… We’re going to see Mickey!”
Okay.. Nothing embarrassing about that. We had a great time!
I felt a little obligated to take a “side trip” to let you know, she definitely has her “Cool Mom” side to her!
Solvang and Buellton, Home of Anderson's Split Pea Soup
That Infamous Day!
HOWEVER….. Getting back to real issue at hand.... Split Pea Soup!
Well, it wasn’t actually the soup itself, but the restaurant we ate at.
I was fourteen; my two younger brothers were 10 and 2. Mom had made an announcement when my brother and I came home from school one Friday that we were going to stay the weekend in "Solvang" (Calif).
This is a picturesque town with a Scandinavian flair throughout and all the buildings have the look of mountain chalets. The town has windmills and many shops that specialize in antiques, candies, crepes, Swiss clocks, and so much more. Just about anything and everything you could think of. The streets are either paved with brick or cobblestone and the town is very clean. We loved going there and were very excited and anxious to get packed and on our way!
We got to Solvang, checked into our motel, and immediately headed out to the next little town up the road called Buellton. There is a well-known restaurant in Buellton that serves Mom’s favorite Split pea soup.
We all had a great lunch and before we headed back to town, Mom and I needed to use the little girl’s room.
That’s when it happened!
Setting the Scene
As you walk into the restroom, you immediately run into a wall and need to turn left. As you face the far wall, you see 3 sinks ahead on that wall and to the left are three stalls. Across from the sinks on the opposite wall is a bench to sit on. Are you following me? Good!
There was a woman already in the middle stall. Mom took the stall on the left of the woman, and I occupied the one on the right.
As if timed in a comedy routine the next few minutes all took place in rhythm:
1. I finished first. Went out of my stall to wash my hands and another woman who had just entered the bathroom took my place.
2. Pictured: Mom in left stall, first lady STILL in the middle, new lady in right (my) stall.
3. As I’m washing my hands, 3 other women enter and are waiting to use the facility.
4. I finished washing my hands and take a seat on the bench.
5. Pictured: MOM thinks it was the first lady that finished, washed her hands and left.
Thinking it was only I and she in the bathroom, she proceeded to blurt out these next few lines:
(Keeping in mind that Mom on occasion would still talk “baby talk” due to the fact my brother was only two.)
WOMAN (action): Tinkles a little
MOM: In Baby Talk: “Oh my! What a big girl!”
WOMAN (action): Tinkle intensifies
MOM: In Baby Talk: “ OOOOHHHHoooooooo Sweety.. You tinkle so good! Momma so proud of you!
Pictured: Three women standing in line begin to look at each other and giggle under their breath. (I’m sitting quietly on the bench as if not to be noticed)
WOMAN: Tinkle gushing and then the “second” business begins!
MOM: OHHH! You made a Poopy! Do you need mommy to wipe your bum? Such a good poopy girl!
Pictured: The three women waiting in line are all bending over trying to see who the crazy lady is in the stall making all these comments. I’m hugging the far corner of the bench with the jacket over my face.
At the same time, both my mother and the “Poopy” woman flush and exit their stalls. My mother witnessed the three women laughing so hard, they nearly made it to their respective stalls. Then my mother saw me crouching in the corner and shaking my head. Without hesitation, mom turned to the woman to apologize, and the woman with smoke and flames spewing from her ears turned her back to my mom and stormed out without washing her hands. (I swear I thought my mother was a dead woman).
As my mother washed her hands, she hears two of the women within their stalls say, “Ooooo Such a big girl! You make a big poopy!”
“Oh God, Just Shoot me now!
Healthy Split Pea Soup
In honor of my Mother (whom I adore with all my heart) and her favorite soup, I’ve included this healthy recipe of classic Split Pea Soup.
This recipe is low in calories and fat. It’s also faster than most recipes and very easy to make.
- In a medium nonstick saucepan over medium heat, heat the oil. Saute the onion, carrot and garlic until softened (about 5 minutes)
- 2.Add the split peas and water; bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, until the peas are tender, stirring once (about 1 hour)
- Add the Canadian bacon, marjoram, salt, and pepper; heat to serving temperature.
- * Canadian bacon imparts the smokey flavor of ham without a lot of fat in this slimmed-down version of "Classic Split Pea Soup." This soup thickens upon standing, so add water to thin when reheating.
- 2 teaspoons olive oil
- 1 onion, finely chopped
- 1/2 carrot, chopped
- 1 clove garlic, minced
- 1 cup dried green or yellow split peas, picked over, rinsed, and drained
- 4 cups water
- 1/2 cup slivered Canadian Bacon, (*Optional)
- 1 teaspoon dried marjoram
- 3/4 teaspoon salt
- 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
How would you rate this recipe?
|Serving size: 4|
|Calories from Fat||27|
|% Daily Value *|
|Fat 3 g||5%|
|Saturated fat 1 g||5%|
|* The Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet, so your values may change depending on your calorie needs. The values here may not be 100% accurate because the recipes have not been professionally evaluated nor have they been evaluated by the U.S. FDA.|
About the Author
Lisa has directed and acted in musical theatre for nearly 30 years. Her musical upbringing allowed her to pursue her career in teaching and directing and continues to direct shows today. As the owner of 2 online Home Décor sites, Lisa’s passion for Rustic Living all begins with her love for the home, outdoors, and her many hobbies. Lisa loves to laugh, and she share’s that love through her comedic hubs centered on her MOM. Lisa’s passions include writing, directing, acting, photography, singing, cooking, crafts, gardening, and home improvement, including decorating. Lisa also writes under her penned name, Elizabeth Rayen.