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Super Model Recipes, NO DESSERT! supermodel

Updated on May 29, 2013

Yummy!

Pea Mignon

Ingredients: 1 Pea

9 Bacon Bits

To prepare the Pea.....open can...or bag if frozen Pea.....put on plate!

Sprinkle bacon bits on napkin....pick the nine smallest bits (NOT THE BIG ONES FAT ASS!) and evenly surround the Pea. Cook in microwave for approximately 3 seconds.....serve with eye of potato and....or....three drops of Koolaid. ENJOY!

DO YOU WANT TO BE FAT LKIE HER?

Corn Ala Thummy Lettuce Delight!

Ingredients: 1 Corn

1 half piece of lettuce

To prepare the Corn....open can....or frozen bag....or pick with nail file from ear.

To prepare the lettuce......take leaf of lettuce....put thumb on lettuce....tear excess lettuce from around thumb (NO CHEATING YOU COW!)....put Corn in center of lettuce....pre-heat oven at 400 degrees....gently set lettuce with Corn placed on top in center of pan...on 3 drops of olive oil...let bake for 2 minutes....serve with string of bean or smoked smoke.


GET THAT BARBIE BOD!

LE SUFLONE AHH SHISKA BORBIE!

Ingredients: 2 Oyster Crackers

1 Tip of Gherkin (Pickle Dumbass)

1 Dime slice of Gouda cheese

1 3 inch long and 1/4 inch wide strip of turkey bologna

To prepare Oyster crackers....open box.....pick two crackers.....place one cracker on tooth pick....place 1 tip of Gherkin on tooth pick....place one dime size slice (NOT A ROLL OF DIMES YA FAT SOW!) on tooth pick...wrap cheese and Gherkin with bologna strip...place final cracker on tooth pick.

Pre-heat oven to 475 degrees...place one end ot tooth pick in boyfriends steak...cook for 32 seconds....serve with minty dental floss.

ENJOY....YOUR AGENT WILL LOVE YA!

WARNING!  These are full course meals and are not intended for daily consumption!

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    • Tom Cornett profile image
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      Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks Lgali...oops ...I'm a little late on this one. :)

    • Lgali profile image

      Lgali 8 years ago

      very differnt hub thanks

    • Tom Cornett profile image
      Author

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Thank you blondepoet....grinning! :)

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      This is super cool LMAO your imagination is wider than the equator. Yahoooooo

    • Jewels profile image

      Jewels 8 years ago from Australia

      That was hysterical. Can we have more of those recipes. I'm on a diet and need variety. :)

    • Tom Cornett profile image
      Author

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      sharrie.....those sound sniffy good! :)

    • sharrie69 profile image

      sharrie69 8 years ago from Trinidad (an island in the Caribbean)

      Hahha...too funny.. I have another great recipie - windpies and nothing chops! It's the latest in super model cuisine! ;-)

    • Tom Cornett profile image
      Author

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks deanstar888.........grrrrins. :)

    • Tom Cornett profile image
      Author

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks cgull8m....a dream would be more filling! :)

    • cgull8m profile image

      cgull8m 8 years ago from North Carolina

      Hilarious, these are dieters dream food recipes :)

    • profile image

      deanstar888 8 years ago

      HA HA ! Thats gr8...luv it!

    • Tom Cornett profile image
      Author

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks Cris....I wonder if Twiggy needs a cook? :)

      Jama Jenee....Thanks...had to be an ex-model...LOL! :)

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 8 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      ROTFLMAO! This explains the little old lady who brought the checkout line to a halt one day when her entire order consisted of one lettuce leaf, one tiny mushroom, and two other produce items I can't remember, but which weighed *nothing*.  Nada.  Zip. The checker couldn't figure out how much to ring up because none of the items would register on the scale.  Musta been an ex-model stocking up. ;}

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      you should work for some celebrity - they would lurve you, well, at last your humor :D

    • Tom Cornett profile image
      Author

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Cat walk dust? :) Thanks for commenting Miss Behaving! :)

    • Miss Behaving profile image

      Miss Behaving 8 years ago from Memphis, TN

      have you ever tried dust? it is very tasty....

    • Tom Cornett profile image
      Author

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      LOL! Thanks SoulaBee.....What's the recipe? :)

    • SoulaBee profile image

      SoulaBee 8 years ago from United States

      Tapered Air pudding for desert. Frieda B. swears by it.

    • Tom Cornett profile image
      Author

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks Cindy and Ktoo! :)

    • Ktoo profile image

      Ktoo 8 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia, USA

      That was tres amusing.

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Wow, I'm full just reading about those huge meals!

    • Tom Cornett profile image
      Author

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks Princessa...Anna Marie...Hawkesdream...Miss Behaving...Triplet Mom...RK Henry.....G-Ma.....Pete...and K@ri! Whew! Now I'm hungry! :)

    • k@ri profile image

      Kari Poulsen 8 years ago from Ohio

      I'm with G-Ma, still hungry!

    • Pete Maida profile image

      Pete Maida 8 years ago

      I think it's time for dinner.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      ....but I am still HUNGRY......:O(

    • RKHenry profile image

      RKHenry 8 years ago from Neighborhood museum in Somewhere, USA

      I like odd, twisted humor. Thanks Tom! Creative Hub.

    • Triplet Mom profile image

      Triplet Mom 8 years ago from West Coast

      Oh yes these meals are great and will help me to stay full all week. I love the lightheadedness I feel! LMAO.

    • Miss Behaving profile image

      Miss Behaving 8 years ago from Memphis, TN

      hmmmm tasty! I would suggest that all these meals be eaten while standing up, as it is well known that food eaten hovering over the sink, or off someone else's plate, is a reduced calorie food!

    • Hawkesdream profile image

      Hawkesdream 8 years ago from Cornwall

      All this food and I am starving lol

    • Anna Marie Bowman profile image

      Anna Marie Bowman 8 years ago from Florida

      Dessert...hmmm...maybe a tic-tac!! Only one calorie...maybe that's too many...

    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 8 years ago from France

      Yummy recipes and easy to prepare. They are perfect to get in shape for the summer... Cos "I am a Babie girl, in my Barbie world, life's fantastic..." You forgot my favourite luxurious dessert for those days when you feel you deserve a treat: One strawberry with the tip coated in edulcorant ;-)

    • Tom Cornett profile image
      Author

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Paper Moon...I have a pop tart left! Half a beer too! :)

    • Tom Cornett profile image
      Author

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Hi G-Ma....LOL....the desert is dental floss or a half a Chicklet. :) Big Hugs!

    • Paper Moon profile image

      Paper Moon 8 years ago from In the clouds

      Christ, now I'm starving!

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      corn ala thummy lettuce....hummm now that sounds really special...when do we eat? ....and is there any chance of desert???HUMMMM.....Love G-Ma :O) and Hugs

    • Tom Cornett profile image
      Author

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks MM....I will...LOL!

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 8 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Very creative! Do you think maybe you should put a warning on here that the menus are NOT intended to be consumed in the same day or even the same week. This kind of pig out needs to be saved for a special occasion only!