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At The Testicle Festival, You'll Have A Ball!
Eating bull testicles (or sheep, pig, goat, or even turkey) is no new thing. They have long been a delicacy and, now, Testicle Festivals are growing in popularity each year in the United States and Canada.
A Testicle Festival is certain to bring out fun people willing to have a good time and try new things. Live a little!
Keep and open mind, and taste some testes. Who knows? You might just love 'em!
After all, you're sure to have a ball at a testicle festival!
Other Terms for Rocky Mountain Oysters
These testicles are also referred to as:
- fry (lamb, calf, turkey, rooster, pig, bull, etc.)
- rocky mountain oysters
- Montana tendergroin
- cowboy caviar
- bulls jewels
- barnyard jewels
- farm oysters
- swinging beef
- Animelles - fr. (testicles)
- swinging sirloin
- beef balls
- prairie oysters
Would you? - Are Testicles for You?
If given the opportunity, would you eat Rocky Mountain Oysters?
Testies Recipes - How to Cook Testicles
I know by now your mouth is watering for a handful of testicles, so you have two choices...find a festival, or make them yourself. If you chose the latter then you will probably need a little help in how to prepare them (unless of course it is an old family recipe).
- Robert Irvine's Rocky Mountain Oyster Stew Recipe
From the Food Network
- Rocky Mountain Oysters On the Half Shell
Recipe By : Texas on the Halfshell ISBN: 0-385-17904-9
- Testicle recipes, montana tendergroin, rocky mountain oysters and fries
Collection of recipes including: Lamb Fries - Rocky Mountain Oysters - Butterflied Turkey Nuts - Barnyard Family Jewels - Ranch Fry - Battered Balls - Crabby Bull Balls - Fried Animelles - Breaded Animelles - Lamb Fry - Donbalaan - Simple Calf Fry -
How To Clean Your Rocky Mountain Oysters
- 2 pounds bull testicles (or lamb/sheep;calf;or turkey testicles)
- 1 cup flour
- 1/4 cup cornmeal
- 1 cup red wine
- garlic powder to taste
- Louisiana Hot Sauce
- hog lard (or cooking oil)
- tbsp vinegar
- Prep time: 1 hour 20 min
- Cook time: 20 min
- Ready in: 1 hour 40 min
- Yields: 4 people
- Using a sharp knife, split the tough skin-like muscle that that is around each "oyster". One trick is to freeze the testicles and then when they are thawing, complete this task. You may want to watch one of the demonstration videos on youtube to see how best to get this done.
- Place the testicles in pan of salt water - just enough to cover them. Let this set for an hour or so (to remove some of the blood).
- Drain them off and move 'em to a big pot. Add enough water that they can float, along with the vinegar. Parboil. Drain and rinse them off, then set to cool.
- Slice each "oyster" into 1/4 inch thick pieces and salt and pepper both sides to taste (but don't taste just yet).
- Mix up the flour, cornmeal and garlic powder in a bowl. Dip a slice in milk, and then into the dry mixture. Then quickly dip into wine. Do this quickly so you don't loose the coating that is already on it. If you want a thicker crust, repeat these steps. Do this for each slice.
- Immediately place the little suckers into hot cooking oil, and then add the Louisiana Hot Sauce directly onto the oil.
- Cook until they're golden brown or tender. Don't overcook them or they'll get tough. I like to set them on a plate with a paper towel under them to absorb some of the unneeded oil for a moment until serving. Yummy!Photo by RLEVENS
Testicle Festival Official Websites - Find a Testy Festy near you!
These festivals and many others run annually gathering crowds from hundreds of miles away. Who can't resist fried testicle kabobs?
May I Have a Word Origin?
The word 'testicle' comes from a Latin word that means witness, 'testis'. The word 'testament' is derived from the same word. In the Roman Empire, only males were allowed to testify. The penalty for perjury was castration. This could be the link between the words. Another theory is that they "bear witness" to one's virility.
Rocky Mountain Oyster T-Shirts
Pick up a testy t-shirt to wear on the big day.
A Rocky Mountain Oyster t-shirt will make your testy festy all the more fun.
This one says: Rocky Mountain Oysters The Original Sack Lunch
Why Would You Eat That?
Penis Stew - (slightly off-topic, I know)
Possibly of interest to testicle connoisseurs is Penis Stew.
This recipe is taken from The Two Fat Ladies, Full Throttle by Clarissa Dickson and Jennifer Paterson (New York, Clarkson Potter, c1998, page 101). The ladies say this was originally a Jewish recipe from Marcelle Thomal. Innards, including penis, once played a major role in Jewish cooking.
I have adapted the recipe with some helpful tips.
- Prep time: 20 min
- Cook time: 3 hours 10 min
- Ready in: 3 hours 30 min
- Yields: 4 Seriously Deranged Individuals
- 1 pound of penis of ram or bull (I'm not certain where you would buy this...the butcher may look at you funny if you ask)
- 3 tablespoons olive oil
- 1 large chopped onion
- 2 garlic cloves
- peeled and chopped
- 1 teaspoon coriander seeds (crushed)
- 1 teaspoon salt
- freshly ground black pepper
- Start off by scalding the penis, and then draining and cleaning it. (Try not to do this in front of your window so you can face your neighbors in the morning.) Place the penis in a saucepan of appropriate size, and just cover it with cold water.
- Bring it to a boil, and while you're waiting fill a glass with cold water and set it next to the stove.
- Go back to your saucepan and remove any scum that has developed. (While doing this, it may occur to you that you are skimming penis scum and you may throw up in your mouth. If this occurs, rinse your mouth with the glass of cold water and continue.)
- Simmer the penis for 10 minutes. Drain and slice.
- Heat the oil in a large skillet and add the onion, garlic and coriander. Fry until the onion is golden, then add the penis slices (yes, the phrase penis slices makes me giggle, too) and fry on both sides for a few minutes. Stir in the remaining ingredients and gift it a good grinding of pepper. Add enough water to cover, and bring to a boil.
- Now, lower the heat, cover, and simmer for about two hours, or until tender. You may beed to add just a little water from time to time to prevent burning.
- Plate it up and feast!
The Two Fat Ladies Ride Again - Hardcover
If you are interested in what else the Two Fat Ladies have to offer, check this book out:
They're a bit funny, and quite a bit odd. They're opinionated; they're fat, and they love to cook!
Clarissa Dickson Wright and Jennifer Paterson serve up a splendid buffet of dishes in this book.
Testicle Festival Accessories
How fun would it be to pay for your Rocky Mountain Oysters and beer with the money in your kangaroo scrotum pouch?!?!?!
I mean, come on!
You would be the king of the testy festy for sure!