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Veg or Martian

Updated on September 3, 2011

The great veggie mystery!

It has been some time now since I have put fingertips to keyboard. There has been a reason for this, although whether or not it is a good reason is open to debate. I have been spending far too much time trying to guess the variety of vegetable that I happened across.

A few weeks ago I came across this rather odd vegetable. I am not at liberty to say where it came from, as the moral and legal implications could lead to consequences that would entail me hanging my head in shame for some decades to come. Nuff said.

As you can see from the photo, it is a bit of an oddity. At first I thought it was a disfigured pumpkin. or maybe a squash that had gone wrong. I brought it home for the rest of the household to peruse. The assembled small people of the household came up with many interesting and suprising theories as to the origins and genetic make-up of veggie-conundrum.

'Its a sea mine that was planted by greenpeace, its to murder all the meat eaters!'

An interesting theory. Sadly, I am of the opinion that it is incorrect.

'Its a Gruffalo's poo poo and i'm going to splat it on your head until you're dead Daddy!'

Again interesting, if wrong. I do however find the patricidal tendencies associated with this comment a little disturbing coming from a four year old.

'Its a chinese lantern made out of the wrong stuff. I think the North Koreans made it using nuclear fission and slave labour'.

This particular answer gave me a distubing insight into my eldest son's view of the outside world. I hope for the sake of mankind he is wrong. However, I can see how he came to draw these conclusions.

'I don't know what it is, but can we swap it for an XBox?'

It seems the gaming sub-culture has had a deeper effect on my family unit than I had realised.

These are just a snapshot of the weird and wonderful views put forward by the munchkins within the fold. I decided to change the subject a little. What sould we do with it, I tentatively enquired?

'Swap it for an XBox.'

'Send it back to North Korea'.

'Kill Daddy with it'.

I gave up. So here I am, looking to you, the good and knowledgable folk that are the Hub pages community to let shed some light on the subject. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Or is it an ostrich egg from the outskirts of Fukashima.

Answers on a postcard to the usual address.


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