How To Hunt And Cook A Wild Haggis Scoticus
Here is a guide on how to capture a wild Scottish haggis and cook it using a traditional food recipe.
The wild Haggis is known by many as a creature native to the Scottish Highlands. There has been little conclusion about this ferocious creatures origins, however some say it is a cross between a highland cow and a pheasant. Its distinctive mating call which can be heard from the month of January through to December resembles the sound of a cat playing the bagpipes.
Thankfully Haggis are great connoisseurs of fine cheese which is used as bait to lure them from their burrows. Its right and left legs are of different lengths which makes them bad swimmers. It is said that this abnormity is due to the Haggis being attracted to things that are lop sided, and therefore they have selectively bread themselves into a vicious circle in which they walk. They treat this circle as their exclusive territory. Many highland dances have been associated with the characteristics of the Haggis’s ambling.
Capturing The Wild Haggis
You will need only the bare essentials, as you will be travelling light on your quest to capture the Scottish Haggis.
Tick List For Haggis Hunting And Survival
- 1 tick list
- a knife (for making shoddy medieval weaponry from the forest)
- a fork (to accompany the knife while eating)
- 1 pop up tent for speedy construction and a quick escape
- 100g of blue stilton cheese (the more potent the better)
- 1 kilt to blend in with any locals
- 1 satchel to carry your belongings
- 1 bottle of Irn Bru
- 1 brass neck
- A set of scales and a camera to show off your catch
- A book telling you absolutely everything you need to know about surviving the wilderness
How to capture a Haggis
- Set up camp
- Lure wild Haggis with cheese attached to a piece of string.
- Use shoddy medieval weaponry to defeat the Haggis with pointy sticks.
- Weigh your catch, take a photo and make a set of bagpipes out of the skin.
- Run away
Disclaimer - This recipe does not contain blue stilton cheese.
Traditional Haggis Recipe – serves 4/6
- 450g (1lb) Lamb or Beef Trimmings
- 125g (4.5oz) Beef Suet
- Optional - Lamb: Liver, Heart, Stomach and Lights (lungs) of 1 lamb.
- 3 finely Chopped Onions
- 175g (6oz) Oatmeal
- 50g (2oz) Pearl Barley
- Water for Haggis stock
Spices & Herbs
- Ground Nutmeg
- Black Pepper
- If using the lamb pluck (liver, heart, stomach and lights) wash thoroughly. Scald stomach with boiling water, turn inside out and allow it to soak in cold salted water (overnight).
- Place the meat trimmings and pluck (apart from the stomach) into a large pan along with the beef suit. Cover with water (enough for the stock) and bring to the boil. Cook for 2 hours.
- Once cooked, strain the ingredients to set aside the stock.
- Mince all the meat trimmings together (excluding the stomach).
- Combine the meat mix with the onions, oatmeal, barley and seasoning by mixing them all together in a bowl. Add some stock while mixing until the texture becomes moist and soft.
- Fill just over half of the sheep’s stomach with the haggis mixture and stitch the stomach closed with cooking string. Pierce the haggis a couple of times to allow for pressure to escape while cooking.
- Place the haggis in a pan of boiling water and cook gently for 3 hours. Maintain water level to keep the haggis submerged.
- Serve by cutting the haggis open and dishing out the filling with a spoon.
- Goes great served with tatties (mashed potatoes) and neeps (mashed swede or turnip)
Here is a recommended Traditional Clapshot Recipe which combines neeps and tatties into a unique, flavoursome blend.
To Cook Haggis Without The Additional Lamb Pluck
- Place meat trimmings into large pan including beef suit. Cover with water (enough for stock). Bring to the boil and cook for 2 hours.
- Strain ingredients and set the stock aside.
- Mince together the meat trimmings.
- Combine the meat mix with the onions, oatmeal, barley and seasoning. Mix them all together while adding enough stock to produce a moist and soft texture.
- Place haggis mixture into a well greased glass bowl and cover with several layers of foil. Place the bowl in a pan and surround with boiling water.
- Steam for two hours and serve.
- Haggis serves best with the aforementioned traditional clapshot recipe.
- Easy Recipe: How To Make Traditional Scottish Shortbread
Here is an easy to follow traditional Scottish shortbread recipe.Shortbread can be made using a variety of ingredients. This shortbread recipe however upholds the traditional ingredients used to make the original petticoat tails shortbread.