ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Food and Cooking»
  • Cooking Ingredients

Ya Gotta Help Me! I'm in a Real Jam!

Updated on March 16, 2011
Ya Gotta Help Me! I'm in a Real Jam!, rickzimmerman 2010
Ya Gotta Help Me! I'm in a Real Jam!, rickzimmerman 2010

Yes, it seems that Big Peachy Bumpinsara shouldn’t have been bumpin’ Sara. He knew she was Big Boss Tito Alto’s favorite gumar.

That was the worst, but certainly not the first, of Big Peachy’s transgressions. Early on, Big Peachy couldn’t stop dealin’ diluted peach-pit extract on the street as fake Laetrile, though he was warned against it a number of times by his capo. His crews were pulling far too much cash out of all those cancer-ward patients lined up on wheelchairs and gurneys along Little Albany outside Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital! Once the Feds nabbed him pushin’ L, it was too late; Big Peachy had to flip or he’d end up doin’ 30 to life in the Big Orchard.

But it wasn’t long before Tito Alto got suspicious. With the help of his two sidekicks, Petey “Peanuts” Goobieri and Milio Fonzay, Tito discovered that Big Peachy had been actin’ fruity for quite a while. 

Soon all the boys got together, and took a pit outta Big Peachy. They got him into Gabriale’s Puree Store in Kearney on the pretext of checking out a new fruit-picker.

Now Big Peachy sleeps with the preserves.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.