My father just went to the hospital

1. 78

   schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years ago

   Yesterday he was kinda confused. I gave him his medicine. It's just my parents and me and the guy who shovels, live in dishwsher guy.
   
   Today I got up very late, but he said he ate breakfast. I was busy cleaning the house today.
   
   I went in to see him in his room, it's always a mess he likes it that way.
   
   He looked not well. I put a cool washcloth on his forehead, took his temp, it was 97.4
   I put cream on his legs and feet, and new socks. He was glad I was there helping him. He said he wondered what it would be like to (pass over). I wasn't sure what he meant at the time.
   
   He is 84
   My momj (77) wasn't up to helping him, she's not too well either. I've been spending much more time with them. [they are very independent and don't want any nurses and want to die at home]
   
   So, I gave him icewater and some gingerale, he said he had an upset stomach.
   
   His eyes, I kept checking on him, were half open. He seemed somewhat confused. He said to call his doctor.
   
   He seemed to be getting worse, I had a feeling in my gut I should call the 911 people. My mom put me off doing it for like almost 1/2 hour. She knows he wants to die at home. Anyways, I called. I had to.
   
   So they took him away. He didn't refuse.
   
   I noticed after they left (he hid it, and they didnt tell me though they asked why he needed to spit up and Iknow he has always had post nasal drip and he spits up phlem.) I saw a plastic bowl 1/2 full of coagulated blood. I was surprised.
   
   I feel sad.
   I had to be strong for both my parents, my mom panicks easily. So I'm glad I was there for them and esp my dad, I comforted him and he was grateful.
   
   This is my latest, and I'm sad.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      ssaulposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      sorry to hear, hope he gets well soon!

      replyreport
2. 0

   Brenda Durhamposted 13 years ago

   I know it's hard, but you did the right thing and it's good that you're a strong person.
   I wish you and your family the best.

   replyreport
   1. 78

      schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Brenda
      It would have been too creepy for him to (die at home)

      replyreport
      1. 0

         Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         My Dad died at home.  He was in his 90's.  I lived out-of-state, so I wasn't there.  But my Mom was and some of my brothers.  It was hard on them.  But that was his wish, and it would've been hard on them either way.  That's just how it is.  Sometimes...I wish I'd been there.  That way I could've maybe grieved sooner.  As it is, it took me a long time to really grieve,  and it would just hit me at different times over the years like a ton of bricks that he was gone and I didn't have the chance to say last goodbyes. But I'm not sure I could've handled it as well as my brothers did.
         Hey, I'm getting ahead of myself I guess, and rambling.  Is there a chance that your Father will recover and come back home for a while?  Either way, take comfort in knowing you're showing both him and your Mom an awesome love from their daughter; it's really a special thing!

         replyreport
         1. 78

            schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            He may be ok
            ty
            It's always hurts no matter how many times they go. i didn't have anyone to talk to about till i talked to joe,brother, and he got emotional on the phone was nice, not everyone can show feelings.
            
            He's being transferred to brigham and women's in boston. he had blood transfusion and he's tired, wally brohter visited him. lEveryone is helping out.

            replyreport
3. 60

   Ohmaposted 13 years ago

   Sorry to hear of your dad's troubles.
   I will be sending positive thoughts out to you and your family in this time of hardship.

   replyreport
4. 95

   wildernessposted 13 years ago

   I'm so sorry to hear that, schoolgirl.
   
   Yes, you need to be strong for your parents - it is good that they have and can depend on you for that.
   
   My thoughts will be with you.

   replyreport
5. 78

   schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years ago

   Thankyou. I'm feeling okay.
   I just wanted to share what happened and I'm glad you all responded

   replyreport
6. 63

   Greek Oneposted 13 years ago

   My prayers are with you

   replyreport
   1. 78

      schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      thx greek one, kind of you means alot!

      replyreport
7. 88

   Nell Roseposted 13 years ago

   I am so sorry about your dad, I am sure it is too soon to know exactly what's going on, but I will be thinking about you, take care.

   replyreport
   1. 78

      schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      He seems to be doing ok of what I hear, he's been transferred to brigham and womens a better hosp

      replyreport
8. 77

   Mighty Momposted 13 years ago

   Hi SGFR.
   So sorry to hear about your dad. You seem very in tune with him. When we have a "feeling" we know. We just know.
   This may not be "it" for your dad, but he has verbalized the idea of passing over. So it's on his mind.
   Until you go through it you just don't know how you are going to react when your parents get really sick. You handled the situation really well.
   And now your job is to keep your mom calm.
   I hope they get your dad stabilized and that he is feeling better.
   Please know that your hubber friends are here whenever you need to share your sadness. We are praying for you, your mom, and your dad.
   Good luck. You will get through this.
   MM

   replyreport
9. 71

   tritrainposted 13 years ago

   I sincerely hope they both are well again soon.

   replyreport
10. 62

    Woman Of Courageposted 13 years ago

    schoolgirlfriend, I pray God will give you strength. Hang in there.

    replyreport
11. 88

    Dorsiposted 13 years ago

    Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for your family and sending a big hug your way.

    replyreport
    1. 78

       schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       ty

       replyreport
12. 62

    Daniel Carterposted 13 years ago

    It's always so hard to watch your parents continue to decline. I was there as my dad died and it was very difficult, but I'm glad I was there, as it brought me a lot of peace.
    
    I hope that your dad won't have to suffer much. And I hope that you are okay as well. I hope you can find the peace you need to know that your dad is really okay, despite the outcome, and that you and your mom will be also.
    
    Sending kindest and best.

    replyreport
13. 78

    schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years ago

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmbw8OycJrE

    replyreport
14. 78

    schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years ago

    I talked to my sister, she told me that dad was not yet ready to 'pass over' (he said he wondered what it was like and I know he hid the blood he threw up and wanted to go, as he last time did 3yrs ago, but by me being there he did not give up.
    my mother avoided him. I didn't even know he was sick till I checked. He was glad I was there. I believe that he will come to know Christ before he dies, for he's been given more chances. Thank God he lived so he has more time to find Christ.

    replyreport
    1. 62

       Woman Of Courageposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Remarkable news! God is Great. Your dad is a fighter.

       replyreport
       1. 78

          schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          thanks
          It's scary about my mom though, she just chatted sociabley the entire time the emt's were there you know the ambulance people, she has not seemed concerned since he felt sick, and not now.
          It's like she's ready to celebrate.
          Perhaps since he wasn't "perfect" all these years....she's been praying for him alot thou.
          

          replyreport
          1. 95

             wildernessposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             I sounds like your Mom is in at least partial denial - one way to hold off the fear is to deny it.  To believe that everything will be all right.  Different people face this kind of terrible fear in different ways - that your Mom doesn't exhibit the reactions you would expect does not mean much. 
             
             My own Mom seemed to go through some of the same kind of reaction right up till the last day or so before Dad left us.  Try to understand her, schoolgirl, and accept that she needs you in spite of what she might say or show the world.
             
             It is a hard time no matter what the final outcome may be.  Be strong - there are many here thinking of and praying for you.

             replyreport
             1. 78

                schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                ok.

                replyreport
          2. 62

             Woman Of Courageposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             schoolgirlfriend, I agree with wilderness. Hang in there. Everything will be alright.

             replyreport
    2. 0

       Brenda Durhamposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Oh my God!  This brought tears to my eyes.  Amen lady!

       replyreport
       1. 78

          schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          thankyou, dear!

          replyreport
15. 77

    Mighty Momposted 13 years ago

    I agree with wilderness. Different people handle crises in different ways. When my father-in-law got into hospice and we acknowledged these were his final days, my mother-in-law did not get emotional at all. She didn't talk about his illness and she still doesn't (2 years this month).
    Probably best to just go with your mom's lead and not force the issue with her. Just be there for her, even if her way of coping is different from yours.
    
    I forgot until I read your post about your dad finding Christ. In my dad's last 2 years of life he was in and out of the hospital A LOT. There was a lovely chaplain at the hospital named Suzanne. She was really sweet and respectful to my dad. She always seemed to show up when I was visiting him (my brother and sister never seemed to time it right for some reason). She would pray with my dad and me and give him communion. Those times were especially precious for me and really did help prepare me for my dad being taken by the angels....
    If you get a chance to do something like that with your dad, I hope you will.
    
    Still praying for your dad and all of your family. MM

    replyreport
16. 0

    L a d y f a c eposted 13 years ago

    Glad to hear your dad is looking a bit better, schoolgirl. Still, sending lots of positive thoughts and hugs your way.

    replyreport
17. 78

    schoolgirlforrealposted 13 years ago

    Thankyou, thankyou
    
    I had a long day today, or it seemed.
    
    Got to walgreens, library, after being there 1 1/2 hrs had to scrape my car (again!!!!) LOL
    And the windows get frosty on the [/i] inside![i]
    So,
    anyways, I go to get milk etc. and come home.
    
    I still feel stressed. Because i'm a very feeling kind of person, whenever things like this happen, even thou he's better, I feel a bit on edge- w/ the pressures of being in charge, anyway, I'm going to take it easy, i'm tired, and watch tv.
    got cookies in the oven.
    I think I'm still sad
    but I'll be ok.

    replyreport