If you are the oldest child in your family, how has being the oldest

1. 85

   gmwilliamsposted 11 years ago

   influence you as a child and teenager?  As an adult, employee/boss, spouse, friend/lover, associate, sibling, and/or parent?

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2. 61

   Twinklingumposted 11 years ago

   As a child i felt aweful, i was depressed because when my brother apperead in the family i wasn't the only loved one, i had to accept the fact, that now the time my parents were spending with me, will have to divide it for 2 kids. I thought it wasn't actually divided evenly. There was always sth that my brother needed more, because he was younger. I was 6 when he was born. I remember when i cried because i wanted to spend time with mom now, but she was busy. It wasn't the hardest time although, it got worse when i was 9. I thought i want to kill myself, but didn't do that. I was so young, i wasn't brave enough. Now i see that was no real reason for suicidal thoughts, but for a kid that was something that matters in my life. Things got better untill we've moved when i was 10 and a half. In the beginning i had no problem about all, but soon i realized i lost my old friends who didn't always have time to come to me whenever i want and so it was here with me. I was lonely, crying everyday. My brother was about 4 then and didn't mind about these kind of things at all, he had much better luck with his mentality, because of his age. I was in a deep depresion, but didn't know there exists sth like that. I was fighting with parents very much. They were trying to change me for 2 years, but i was shut down. After that time, once, only once i found some strenght and told my mom about one of my problems. that was enough.. everything's changed in our relationship. But i am still lonely, 5 years will have be gone on September... Ok, sorry, i don't want to talk about what's happening now.. and how being oldest child influences for my life. and why is it all conducted with being oldest. i have no good moog anymore. my god, i hope many people were lazy enough to not read it.

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   1. 85

      gmwilliamsposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Many oldest children do feel dethroned as a result of the succedent sibling/siblings being born.   Oldest children were once only children, the only recipients of their parents' attention and affection.   However, once the new sibling is born, the firstborn child oftentimes become displaced.   He/she feels that his/her parents no longer love them.   Many firstborn children do feel resentment towards the younger sibling, believing that this sibling is receiving the lion's share of parental love and attention. 
      
      Many oldest cihldren oftentimes regress to early, more infantile behaviors in order to get the parental attention they believe they deserve.   Many parents either knowingly or unknowingly discard the oldest child aside in favor of the new sibling, believing that the oldest child can somewhat take care of himself/herself.   If the oldest child doth protest such treatment, he/she is told to "act his/her age" and/or to stop being "so selfish."     There are a lot of oldest children who become the "perfect child" in order to feel loved and important by the parent. 
      
      Many oldest children are oftentimes treated the most differentially albeit in a harsher sense by their parents.  They are expected to be totally there 24/7/365.   They are not allowed to be carefree children but must be little adults.  Thank you for your input regarding this post.

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3. 82

   Rafiniposted 11 years ago

   I was the youngest but treated and behaved like the oldest.  does that count?  lol

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