I'd like feedback on my Hub: Prevention of Mother to Child Transmission of Hiv I

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   Hammedismailposted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Prevention of Mother to Child Transmission of Hiv Infection (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 97

      theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hello there,
      
      I would suggest that you add some bio info 'about the author'. In edit mode, look to the right and click on 'Display Options'. You can add a relevant bio there. It's always a good idea to show that you are qualified to write on any medical topic.
      
      It seems that this topic has been covered extensively by professionals - you are competing with them so your article may not carry much weight.
      
      Having said that, I am concerned that much of the text has been copied from https://www.avert.org/professionals/hiv … ther-child and http://www.prn.org/index.php/transmissi … ission_296
      
      You cannot copy and paste writing from elsewhere and republish it. It's difficult for me to tell if the whole hub has been copy pasted, but if it has, you can't publish it. However, giving you the benefit of the doubt...
      
      Write a proper introduction. You have so many facts and figures in there that it's difficult to read. So an intro that explains why this is important and why it needed to be written. Even though this is a medical issue, you still have to grab your readers' attention.
      
      If you can put the figures into bullet points, that would make them easier to read.
      
      You need to break up your paragraphs into smaller text capsules. You can add as many capsules as you want and each gives you the opportunity to add a sub-heading. With detailed information like this, you need to spread it out to make it readable. You've done that farther down the hub, which looks much better.
      
      Make sure your sub-headings are written consistently, i.e. in title case. Some aren't and it looks messy.
      
      Remove unnecessary words. Like your very first sentence "The scourge of HIV/AIDS has, no doubt, continued to ravage virtually all parts of the world."
      
      "The scourge of HIV/AIDS has ravaged all parts of the world." Shorter and more direct equals stronger writing. Unnecessary words weakens writing and dilutes the message. Say it straight. Get rid of as many adjectives as you can.
      
      Remove the silly Amazon link at the bottom. It has no relation to the topic and makes your article look spammy.
      
      Hope that helps.

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   pen promulgatesposted 6 years ago

   @ raggededge
   How could you detect the copied material?
   You gave the link as well :-D

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   1. 97

      theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I simply copied sections of the text and pasted into a Google search. Yes, I included links for reference, not to promote them. It's fine - they're not mine

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