is it normal when husband wants to run to ex to comfort her when their child die

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   mfeimerposted 14 years ago

   is it normal when husband wants to run to ex to comfort her when their child dies

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2. 59

   ktpsposted 14 years ago

   depending on if there still friends but when a kid dies they do need comfort

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3. 61

   Jersey Jessposted 14 years ago

   I think so. Them having a child was bonding and even if they are not with each other, the bond that they still have and always will be their child. When a child dies, it is a hard time and the parents of that child should be there for each other.

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   Suzanne Alicieposted 14 years ago

   My ex husband and I can't stand each other but if something were to happen to our son we would comfort each other because even though we are both with other people now, that child is ours, we made him together and our partners couldn't possible share the scope of emotions we would go through over the loss. Being understanding of this will lead to the situation being easier for all involved. Don't allow jealousy to come up because it is nothing like that, simply two parents grieving together for their child.

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5. 62

   DynamicSposted 14 years ago

   The death of a child is tragic, not matter the circumstances.  Is it reasonable that your husband and his ex should comfort each other in this circumstances?  I think the answer depends on how you feel about them.  If you completely trust your husband and believes that he is over his ex, then you have nothing to fear.  If on the other hand, she still wants him or he still may have feelings for her then I can understand your concern.
   If it is a trust issue, then be involved with them.  Don't allow him to go to her place without you.  Even if you have to pretend to be nice to her, do so because you want to support your man but at the same time, you do not want any hanky panky behind your back.  Tragedy has a way of bringing people close or dividing them.  The emotions can run real high and become very confusing; mistaking mutual sympathy for old feelings of lust.
   I think however, that the child's death should be the focus. So offer sympathy and support.  You do not have to be friends with the ex, just standing with your man.
   If your husband knows how you feel about the situation and he cares about your feelings, he will use discretion. 
   There should be no 'running to' but rather offering support and getting through the circumstances and understanding that both have shared past.

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