how can I help my girlfriend with her emotional pain?

1. 53

   howie1234posted 13 years ago

   how can I help my girlfriend with her emotional pain?
   
   she lost her father when she was young and never dealt with the emotional pain,, this happend about 20 years ago. .   I  would like to help where I can.

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2. 61

   Right On Timeposted 13 years ago

   Trauma therapy. Look up a good psychologist - it may be too big for you to help with yourself.

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3. 66

   Smaridge01posted 13 years ago

   Other than professional help, it may be the best you can do is to learn to be there when it hits her hard, and to listen without trying to fix. A friend lost their husband recently, and it seems like the best help I am for her is to listen, and not be afraid of her tears. Rather than try to tell her it's okay, it helps her more to acknowledge that this sucks, and it hurts like hell and it's okay that she wants to cry.
   
   Like R.O.T. says, though, since it's been so long, I would definitely try to get her to get pro help also.
   
   Good luck, and good for you wanting to help rather than avoid.
   
   -Wayne

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4. 0

   UrsulaRoseposted 13 years ago

   Howie, you are already helping your girlfriend by 'giving a damn' and asking for help yourself.  Good on you.
   
   Emotional pain is such a personal thing and as long as you do not 'smother her' and keep open lines of communication so she is aware that you are ready, willing and able to listen and talk to her when she is ready.
   
   I agree with the other Hubbers, at some stage she will need professional help as long-term emotional psychological pain can manifest as a form of referred pain which then becomes actual physical pain which will make things altogether worse.
   
   In the meantime, ask her if she would like to try writing down what it is that she feels and why she is in pain.  Nobody else needs to read her words and it can always be ripped up or disposed of when she has done it.
   
   This helped me in my time of need - it is a progressive healing process that won't happen overnight.
   
   There are a myriad of things that she could try such as Reiki, Energy Healing, Art Therapy, Music Therapy, etc but the most important advice that I give you drawn from my own personal experience is to keep doing what you are already doing ... give her space, give her your love and support but most of all realise that her healing will be progressive and it will take both time and energy to regain her wellbeing.
   
   I wish you both well ... you will be in my thoughts.

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