Do bullies grow up to continue being bullies as adults - or do they mend their w

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   purpleangel47posted 13 years ago

   Do bullies grow up to continue being bullies as adults - or do they mend their ways?

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2. 62

   GNelsonposted 13 years ago

   Most bullies are cowards and don't change or grow up.  They continue to be cowards.  I have never met an adult bully but I have met adult cowards.

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   purpleangel47posted 13 years ago

   That's a good point GNelson ... and probably, because they are cowards, they find new ways to bully or control that they can get away with in society. I asked this question because of the amount of controlling people I run across - I wonder where it started. Thanx for your answer.

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   kallini2010posted 13 years ago

   I just looked up the information on bullying and it is not so simple as I used to think.  Not all bullies are cowards, bullying has a lot to do with strong and domineering personalities who try to control others.  Like males/females with personality "A", hot-headed, unable to understand emotions of others, insensitive.  Exposure to violent behaviour does not help either.
   
   Most bullies do not grow out of it, it becomes second nature, some bullies end up being criminals.  My ex-husband was a bully, even though he was not a strong type, my mother was a bully even though it was hard for me to see her in this light.  Bullying can be physical, can be verbal.  The tragic truth that we all can use intimidation when we think that there is no other sensible choice.  We talk to our children from the position of "power".  It is a generalization, of course, but we have to be more aware when we do resort to intimidation or put-downs.
   
   I don't remember who is the author of this phrase, but I love it:
   
   "There is nothing stronger than real gentleness and nothing more gentle than real strength."
   
   Strong people are gentle, they don't need to intimidate.  But where are they? Where are strong men?

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   EmpatheticAdvisorposted 11 years ago

   First of ll let me say that there is way too many people thinking that bullies are really cowards.
   
   Yes, they may be the first to run but it's not out of cowardice, it is more about saving their own skin, as all they care about is themselves.
   
   I have dealt with many different types of bullies across my lifetime, and had to laugh when I was even accused of being one by a teacher, when another student who was our group leader just dumped the entire assignment on the group and I told him off for it. He was the bully and I called him on it, and I got blamed. What a laugh, but not at the time.
   
   All bullies care about are themselves, and they look for ways to put others into service to make their lives better without having to do it for themselves.
   
   Bullies have sociopathic tendencies and are often narcissistic. They do not care who they hurt or what they do as long as their needs are getting met.
   
   So yes, childhood bullies do end up being adult bullies. Once a person has found out how to get their way, do you really think they are just going to stop using a successful tactic? Heck no, not on your life.

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