How do I stop my sister from saying things that hurt my feelings?
My sister is sometimes very rude to me on the phone. She likes to hurt my feelings. Should I just ignore her?
Personally speaking I would choose not to deal with her period.
You may want to communicate how you feel but in all honesty we have no control over how someone else behaves.
Just because you are related to someone does not give them a "free pass" to disrespect or hurt you.
Freedom comes through self respect. Whatever she says or does has no power to affect you unless you allow it. You are free to take it or not take it. It is not your problem. It tells you what is going on inside of her. Only your own thoughts or reactions can trouble you. Have no reaction. You need not be concerned about what others think at all.
You can't change someone else, you can only change your response. Talk to her and tell her these things she says hurt you--if she doesn't stop--then pull back a bit and only see her when you think you can handle the "abuse."
Since you mention she likes hurt your feelings, then stop and think what it gains her. It likely makes her feel superior to be able to manipulate your feelings. Do not get into this with her. As soon as she is rude, do not let her know she is getting to you. Simply laugh and lightheartedly say, Sis, I'll talk to you later when you feel a little better, I have some things to do and hang up.
I would be brutally honest with her and tell her how you feel. If she can't accept that, then you might need some emotional distance from her until she recognizes the boundaries you have set.
Dear Vocalcoach:
You cannot make your sister do anything. Unfortunately, she is not a puppet on a string.
I have a sister like that, maybe even worse, and I decided that I could not deal with her costic personality any longer, so I chose not to talk to her, and this trend has continued for 5 years or so.
I told her what the name of the game was and showed her where the boundaries were located and if she violated said boundaries she knew what the consequences would be. She violated our terms of peace straight away and because I am a man of my word I was forced to set her free.
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