Do you think instability at home is linked to instability in a relationship/s?

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   days leaperposted 12 years ago

   Do you think instability at home is linked to instability in a relationship/s?
   
   -and/or including friendships?
     Scene, boy meets beautiful girl;  girl shows interest with love poem.  Boy shows humour pretending in class it is the football results, but this humour hides a severe pain.  Instability at home; having got on the course in the first place through fear of being thrown out, and getting shouted, bellowed at every day with guilt trips, threats etc.  Add poor school "relationships/friendships -non existent/ being used etc." as homelife proved 'strange' in childhood.  As one observer said "A weird carry on."

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2. 90

   Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

   Quite possible, but that is a broad generalization. Individuals can be very individual, and instability at home can also make a person determined to have a stable relationship in their grown up life.

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3. 61

   cejaeposted 12 years ago

   absolutely - we learn how to be and react at home.  If a person comes from a dysfunctional family they will react to others outside the family as they have learned to react in the family.  These are the defenses taken on in order to survive the dysfunctional family relationships.  Unfortunately, these learned responses are carried over into other relationships that have nothing to do with the original family.
   
   i believe this can be overcome with hard work and an honest look at yourself - usually this must be done in a professional therapy setting.  Otherwise  the courage to really see yourself is too frightening and may never be done. 
   
   A very good question and one that is extremely complicated..

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4. 60

   days leaperposted 12 years ago

   Rochelle Frank:  Yes, it can make a person determined to improve generally.  Unfortunately with me this was and is a very long arduous progress at the time I was nowhere near ready for a relationship or even sure what this entailed, By that I don't mean I got what men are supposed to want "only" and ran, I just ran much to the chargrin of other new people who might otherwise have become friends -life is certainly bleak with a bad start!
   
   cajae; your right!  with everything you say.  I particularly notice that:  Especially as the joking re.  Soccer results seems to have been a mechanism from the family where it was a case of make me laugh or feel the wrath for rejecting me -adult v. child family rule.  However led to ultimatte rejection through it being of use of force v. freedom and other reasons for dysfunction...  Thank You cajae.

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5. 85

   tsmogposted 12 years ago

   most definitely 'linked,' yet not necessarily does the causal - effect relationship apply

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6. 71

   R.S. Hutchinsonposted 12 years ago

   yes.
   
   
   
   (and I have no earthly clue what your paragraph was about.. something about a beautiful girl meeting a guy with a poem because he was on a football team that was unstable  because his grandma was thrown out of Highschool  in the future when Mars has landed on the color purple??)

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