Do I need my mother's approval when I want to marry the man I love?

1. 60

   pajamazzonposted 12 years ago

   Do I need my mother's approval when I want to marry the man I love?
   
   I'm 34 years old and I live in an Asian country where people ,even in their 40s still asking for their parents approval on things. My mother didn't approve of me marrying my boyfriend because he wanted me to move to the U.S. I much appreciate all the advise I can get, Thank you very much

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2. 0

   Indigitalposted 12 years ago

   Of course, it's your right to be allowed marriage; to be allowed love and to be allowed freedom. I doubt, in almost any society in this day and age, you'd be enforced against the love of your life. Just remember, lover and family must go hand in hand to have a happy life.
   
   Try to make your Mother believe that he is the right man. Most of all, make sure he makes her believe as well.

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3. 78

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   Life is a personal journey. You have to live your life on your terms. If you don't you will never know what true happiness is. Having the freedom to make your own choices is what being an adult is all about.

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4. 65

   ronhiposted 12 years ago

   Its important to be in agreement with your parents but not when it interferes with your happiness.. i dont mean to sound rude but they had their life to live and you have yours to live too. So the marriage decision should be yours
   
   But on the other hand, you need to find out why your mum is opposed to the idea. Chances are, its nothing serious...maybe just some culture conflict but maybe there is a good reason why she is opposed to it,,,just maybe

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5. 89

   brittanytoddposted 12 years ago

   My husband's parents were not happy when he told them he was going to propose to me.  After he did, he told me about their disapproval and it broke my heart.  They had no reason against it except that we were "too young."  We were about to graduate from college and wanted to start a life together.  Our engagement period was a horrible time.  They would send us books about making a big decision to convince us to not go through with it.
   
   Once my husband showed them that this was his decision to make and that he had made up his mind, they finally agreed to be supportive.  It took a lot of strength to stick to what we wanted despite their disapproval, but they came around eventually.  I know it's hard, but if you rationally voice your reason for wanting to marry him, your mother should understand.  Good luck and I hope that I have encouraged you.

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6. 71

   lburmasterposted 12 years ago

   I don't think so. She is not the one getting married to him, you are. You should try to make it easy for her. But you are still the one in-charge during this time.

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7. 39

   Borsiaposted 12 years ago

   It all depends on your culture, your family and your relative feelings toward both.
   It might cause a break between you and your mother at least for a period of time.
   In many Asian cultures the daughter is supposed to look after the mother. Obviously I have no idea what culture you are from but this could be seen by the mother as being dumped so to speak.
   
   My ex's family didn't speak to me for the first 6 years we were together.
   Their reason was that I came to pick her up barefoot. It was summer, I drove a convertible and we were going on a picnic... go figure?
   They eventually got over it and we got along fine after.

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8. 58

   juiwei2000posted 12 years ago

   I think you should aks your parent's approval, there is an old saying "Blood is thicker then water." and marriage is not a necessity in life, you should NEVER choose your boy friend over your parent, not unless your parents never raise you for a single day.  Plus, move to another country for a guy?  Come on, that is stupid.

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9. 70

   HotUrbanposted 12 years ago

   No absolutly not. It's your life, not hers. Whilst I think traditions and cultures should be respected, not if it comes at the cost of personal freedom. It's exactly that problem I have with religion. I don't mind who want's to believe in what but I have the problem with those beliefs being pushed on others.
   
   In my experience it is often the parent that pushes their beliefs on the children and then can't understand why they don't agree with them. That would be a little something called free will. We aren't all robots and thank god.

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10. 0

    Starmom41posted 11 years ago

    If both individuals are legal-age, you don't need anybody's approval.

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11. 84

    Express10posted 11 years ago

    You do no need anyone's approval to marry as long as you are of legal age. Just be sure that you are ready to commit to one man for life and he is ready to do the same. That said, don't be shocked if your mother throw's temper tantrums or ignores you if you do as you please. I have Asian relatives and I've heard tales of this kind of thing getting really bad. Think about what is most important to you. You are no longer a child and it's your choice as to who you will marry, when, and where.
    
    Mother did her job in raising you and getting you out into this world. In continuing your life and growth, you must make your own choices. Discuss the fact that you love your mother and you are free to make your own choices and you look forward to continuing to share your life with her. She is probably afraid of losing you as well as losing some measure of control.

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