Is worth risking your relationship with your over controlling family for your ow

1. 61

   Nat Amaralposted 11 years ago

   Is worth risking your relationship with your over controlling family for your own peace of mind?
   
   I'm a 38 year old woman who was always under the control of my folks.  Even though I no longer live in the same city as any of my family members, they never would like the idea of me moving anywhere without their knowledge...especially since I have a medical condition.

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2. 72

   breathe2travelposted 11 years ago

   Keeping family and loved ones abreast of your current locale is perfectly natural and part of a healthy relationship, especially if you have a medical condition that has potential dangerous side effects: cardiac problems, seizures, etc.
   
   What exactly is your question?  Are you planning to move without telling them?  Or are they more controlling than wanting your current address?  Could you expound, please?
   
   I have had to put my foot down when a parent wanted to administrate my home.  That is definitely over-controlling when a parent tries to run your household with you right there -- overstepping your set rules and boundaries, routines, etc.
   
   If the controlling behavior affects your daily life and hampers you from living according to your desire, then express your feelings!  Their feelings may be hurt temporarily, but in the long run, it will be for the best, and they should get over it.
   Just be sure to think through what you will say, and then approach the subject calmly.
   
   Warmest regards~

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   1. 61

      Nat Amaralposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      As far as expressing my feelings, believe me, it often goes in one ear and out the other with them.  The way they've always seen it, they've always been right, and I've always been wrong since they're the parents.  That has always been painful.

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3. 61

   Nat Amaralposted 11 years ago

   I'm thinking about moving without telling them.  When I moved here to PG, they were completely upset and bitter about it.  So I decided that the next time I wanted to move anywhere, I'd do so before telling them.  Yes, I'm epileptic, but it's been under control for well over five years.  Even though I need to look for work (and finding much of it at all in Northern BC is difficult)...if it was for that reason, they wouldn't be happy about this at all.  I'm 38 years old, I've lived on my own since I was 26 because of this, and they still tend to be very meddlesome and controlling.  The fact that I had moved out when I was in my mid-twenties says so.
   
   I hope I have answered your question.

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