Is it wrong to send a 9yr old with Aspergers away to a military type school?

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   peeplesposted 11 years ago

   Is it wrong to send a 9yr old with Aspergers away to a military type school?
   
   My 9 yr old has Aspergers. We have tried what feels like everything yet he is still out of control at times. Last night I had to call an ambulance to my home for my 7 yr old who he beat to the point of severe swelling in his ribs (In a matter of 1 minute). All the therapy, structure, and love in the world does not seem to help but so much. I was the same way when I was his age and the only thing that ever helped was 2 years in jail when I was 16. I am debating on sending him to a military school. Do you think that would be a bad idea for a 9 year old with Aspergers?

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   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   It might cut the rough edges off. Normally I'm entirely against military type schools, but in your case, it might be just what you need.

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   windygreenposted 11 years ago

   Military School?   Aspergers is a disability ~ not merely a behavioral issue (though it may present as such)   Individuals with Aspergers have a great deal of difficulty with communication ~ both understanding it and employing it.   It would seem to me that military school would do no good in this case (except the highly routined daily life - which can be replicated at home). I would suggest in depth communication therapy that is mimicked at home as well as instituting and maintaining a daily routine (ie:eating at the same time, bed at the same time, etc).  I would also get a sensory evaluation for him, to see if any sensory (sight, auditory, texture)  things in the current environment could be indirectly triggering behavioral and/or violent episodes.  Many times individuals within the Autism spectrum (which Aspergers is) have issues with certain colors, noises, textures, etc.     
   I have worked with a lot of youth with Autism spectrum disorders, I would be glad to give you any advice I can to help and support you and your family.  Feel free to contact me anytime.

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      peeplesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      We really have tried everything you named. I understand most of it can not be helped but he uses it as an excuse telling me "oh well I can't help it"  He is also too smart for his age and uses it to manipulate. I can't let him kill his brother.

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      windygreenposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It's definatly time for tough love and if your son can use his disability as an excuse verbally to you, then he can understand cause/effect training. I would still recomend an at-home plan rather than a military-style school..........................

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   duffsmomposted 11 years ago

   Sending him away might be a good alternative for the safety and sanity of your family.  I'm not sure a military type school would be tailored appropriately for the Aspergers child.  Could there be another alternative such as a group home or something that specifically addresses the needs of the Aspergers child?
   
   You have mentioned in one of your hubs that you were diagnosed as a psychopath in years past.  Is Aspergers his only diagnosis or are there more complex mental health issues?  Could his psychiatrist or mental healthy worker weigh in on this decision?
   
   My heart goes out to you in this battle.  Being torn between what is right for the child and right for the rest of the family must be overwhelming.  Please let us know what you decide.

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      peeplesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Actually we(his therapist and I) are starting to wonder if all my diagnosis were wrong and instead Aspergers which wasn't diagnosed back then. I've been in group homes and scared to death of that option, or any other option really. It's a bad spot.

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      duffsmomposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I wondered that when I read your Hub and you listed symptoms.  Diagnoses are quite subjective.  I hope your family can find some peace.

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   MizBejabbersposted 11 years ago

   Peeples, my heart goes out to you. I agree with windygreen about the military school, and I will even go farther and say that I believe it would be torture for your Aspergers child. I agree that you can't let him kill his brother, and I wish I could offer a practical solution. I have known several people who have, or who are suspected of, Aspergers, and their thinking just can't seem to be swayed. One such person was in the military, and I think it may have made him worse. I don't think he has any empathy toward other people, and I think the military training is now being used by him to justify getting what he wants.

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