When you burp in public, you say "pardon me". What do you say when you fart in public ...
When you burp in public, you say "pardon me". What do you say when you fart in public? Do you say nothing and just walk away?
Don't say nothing! Just glare accusingly at the next nearest person to you!
Scuse me.
Oh my goodness I'm so embarrassed.
Ooops pardon me, I'm very sorry.
It depends on where you are and what you're doing.
If you're in a public swimming pool you're fairly safe. Just watch the bubbles rise and say ' What a wonderful creation.' Or, ' After my butterfly, I watch the methane rise.' Something like that.
If you're in a fancy restaurant and your fart is audible and carries a detectable scent (stinks like hell) you'll have to do the gentlemanly thing and either own up, mea culpa, and say 'That was good but it wasn't one of my best. I can do better.' Or say ' Mother Nature calling. A country package is on its way!'
If you're being awarded a certificate or diploma then you can just ignore the fart, smile and walk on.
If you're being introduced to a beautiful man or woman or figure of note, celebrity, royalty, wealthy person, etc etc, and you happen to let out an absolute gem just say ' Sorry , I was educated in Australia.' Everyone will understand.
I don't say anything. I shoot a nearby person a dirty look and wrinkle my nose like I smell something rotten. I became a bit of a pro at this.
by G. Diane Nelson Trotter 6 years ago
POTUS attorneys were supposedly asked if he can pardon aides, family and himself. Why would that be necessary?
by Goody5 11 years ago
Does chewing a lot of gum make a person fart more?
by Goody5 11 years ago
Does sugar free chocolate candy make a person fart more?
by harmony155 11 years ago
Are you embarrassed to read 50 Shades of GRey in public?
by Rosemary Amrhein 13 years ago
Does your family insult fat or disabled people and how does it make you feel?
by rutley 11 years ago
When a stranger with a huge backside bends in front of you, do you not look?Especially if your kids point it out, how can you not?
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