Why would my family betray me?

1. 61

   followinggodposted 10 years ago

   Why would my family betray me?
   
   Why would my family betray me so badly when I was willing to die for them all just to protect them from the horrible truth of our parents and family.  Why would they treat me like a plague when my heart was always filled with good intentions and protection from the horrible and unthinkable ugliness that I had kept so hidden all these years I trusted only a few with the truth but they've all betrayed me. 
   My own children won't even defend me and stand up for me &my heart breaks. 
   My sister betrayed me hurt me spoken untruths to my children and turned my troubled daughter from me.  Heartbreaks

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2. 61

   followinggodposted 10 years ago

   I wish I had room to list everything Ive been put through but I dont I just know God has a plan but getting there is ripping out my heart daily and I just wish they could all see it.

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3. 80

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   It would impossible for anyone to weigh in with whatever motives your family may have for "betraying" you.
   The reason why most relationships have a (falling out) is because people disagree with the actions of others. If you believe in your heart you are right that is all that matters. Hopefully there are other areas you do agree upon and can salvage a relationship by agreeing to disagree on that particular matter and not bother ever discussing it again. The truth is rarely welcomed initially.
   As for someone being able to "turn your children against you" this could only happen if your children (believe) your sister has more (credibility) than you. We tend to believe those we trust. Having said that as an adult you should not need your children to 'stand up for you or defend you'. If God is on your side that's all you need.
   You're not going to be able to move on until you (decide) to let it go. Frustration and pain comes from wanting others to behave a certain way. The only person you can control is YOU!!!
   If you find you are dealing with "toxic people" even if they're family members sometimes the best thing you can do is distance yourself from them. If being around certain people upsets you then stop engaging with them. "Don't go where you're tolerated, go where you're appreciated." Ultimately you are responsible for your own happiness. If you're happiness is depended upon what others say or do you will always be at their mercy.
   Very few families live up to the Norman Rockwell painted images. You would not be the first person to have to distance themselves from family in order to live a higher quality life. Best friends, new friends you will make, and co-workers can be your family. In fact it is has been said; "Friends are the family that we (choose)."
   Best wishes.....
   .

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4. 0

   Dave36posted 10 years ago

   Hey buddy although i do agree with most of what dashingscorpio says, i would say don't distance yourself from the people that upset you....The reason i say that is because it's easy to distance ourselves from friends or peeps we know, but not easy to distance ourselves from our family especially if we don't actually want to....Dashingscorpio says that "your responsible for your own happiness", & is correct in saying that....However I'll tell you for a fact that your actually responsible for all your feelings/emotions, & you create them all inside of you..(except in my opinion love)..So my point is that their not upsetting you etc, but rather your upsetting yourself by how your reacting....I know how that sounds but it's true, & if you sit there thinking about your problems you will upset yourself proving that your feelings are manifested inside yourself....So what can/should you do?, well in my honest opinion all you should do is use them for practice, at controlling your own feelings/emotions....Like Dashing says if you know in your heart you did what was right for everyone, then that's the very best you can ever do in life....If they don't see it that way then that's only their opinion from their perspective, & from their level of awareness/consciousness....So by the definition of you doing what you thought was for the best, then their perspective is obviously wrong they just can't see that yet....So try to understand that they might just not know any better & once you realize that, their words or actions towards you shouldn't affect you in a bad way....Now matter who says them to us words do not hurt us, it's physically impossible to be hurt by words unless we allow ourselves to be hurt....So that's the practice you need followinggod, to see where your feelings come from when someone tries to upset you....Once you get the gist of it your'l soon be in control of your feelings/emotions, & it should rub off on all the peeps around you....If you want to learn it fast utube: Oprah Winfreys Soul Series with Eckhart Tolle, 6 x 1 hr vids, that once understood will change your whole outlook on life....Also watch his vids on the "ego" mind to see why people act like they do, your'l find it's because they don't know any better.

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5. 85

   gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

   
   
   Let me start by saying that blood isn't necessarily thicker than water. Blood family can be one of the most venomous entities existing.No one can hate or destroy a person like many a blood relative.No one can disown and/or disavow a person like many a blood relative.No one can be envious and non-nurturing like many a blood relative. Hell has no fury like many a blood relative.
   
   The family is an extremely intricate institution.While there are a few families that are highly supportive, respectful,& nurturing towards each other,they are not as common as supposed.The average family possess some degree of competition, animus,& even downright envy of each other.The average family may appear loving & cohesive on the surface &/or for public appearances. But beneath the veneer, there are families that make enemies seem cordial. 
   
   Each family has its own psychodynamics,oftentimes stemming from childhood. A family member may have an animus against another family member because the latter may possess an outstanding talent that the former doesn't have. A family member can be the parental favorite whereas another family member may be the disfavored child. Such factors strongly influence the reasons a family member may have negative feelings towards another family member. 
   
   Then there is birth order.Many children receive either preferential &/or differential treatment based upon their respective birth order. Oldest children are expected to grow up quickly while youngest children are coddled into adulthood. Birth order is often a subject of contention between siblings.The oldest sibling may feel that the youngest child is receiving better treatment, thus resenting & hating the youngest child often into adulthood and beyond.     
   
   Oftentimes children who are disfavored by their parents & other adult relatives will hate favorite children. They will often bully& otherwise degrade favorite children for what they perceive they did not receive from adult family figures.This is not only a childhood & adolescence thing but can carry into adulthood.The disfavored child will seek revenge in one form or another against the favored child in order to reduce the latter emotionally, psychologically, even psychically. 
   
   Unsuccessful family members may have an animus towards more successful family members.They can feel that it is THEY who should be successful, not the other family member.They can use sabotage & other negative means to disparage, even destroy the latter family member.

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