The feeling of "fitting in" - does it allude you or gratify you?

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   Billie Kelpinposted 9 years ago

   The feeling of "fitting in" - does it allude you or gratify you?
   
   What IS the feeling of "fitting in"?  Where have you ever felt that you DO fit in? Where do you feel you DON'T fit in?  Have you once felt you fit in somewhere in some way and now you feel the opposite?  Or vice-versa: Have you always felt you DIDN'T fit in and now DO?  I was just listening to Terry Gross' interview of the author "So We Read On, How the Great Gatsby Came to Be..." and that concept of not fitting in that Fitzgerald and his character Gatsby felt is intriguing.  What's your take on "fitting in"?
   
   

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   jhamannposted 9 years ago

   I have never felt as if I fit in.  As I have grown older I blame others less for this and realize that I do fit in I just have difficulty accepting this.  In my twenties I read "Damien" by Herman Hess and thought that maybe I had the mark of Cain, as described in the book.  Really though, I just have an introverted personality.  Introverts seem to be overlooked often and in all honesty I don't really try very hard.  Jamie

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      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Jamie, I'm so glad you wrote because now I found your poetry!  I love your writing, your topics, your titles!  So introverts feel left out, too? (tee hee)  Thank you for your insightful comment. Cheers, Billie

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   deecoleworldposted 9 years ago

   The feeling of "fitting in" to me, means, finding a defined group where you feel most comfortable in and can relate to in regards to beliefs, ideology, outlooks of life, opinions, styles of dress and actions. It can be like a little culture or set of cultures in one. An example of a group is goth people.
   I don't think I ever fit in neatly anywhere. Sometimes I want to fit in, sometimes I like being on the outskirts. It depends. I still don't think I fit in, for the most part I don't mind...... unless I'm really lonely then I do.
   I feel its important to belong but I think that fitting in is overrated. To me fitting in also means molding yourself and your values and beliefs into a group you feel you need to or must belong to, to be satisfy. That can make you extremely unhappy because sometimes we think we know what we want or need and when you get it, we realize that A. Its not want we really want or need or B. Its not how you pictured it and you get disappointed.
   An example would be the Great Gatsby (I have never read the book, though I have it for years/ but never touched it, I have watched the 1974 movie with Robert Redford. In it he is a self-made man who has a rags to riches story. You would think he and the other characters would be completely happy since they are rich and essentially have it all. Especially Mr. Gatsby who did whatever he took, to achieve the American Dream (went wayyy beyond it).... but in his desperation to fit in and be a man of material value, he lost himself and his values/morality.
   Anyway I rather focus on being the best that I can be constantly then being someone that I think that I must be! Hope this gives you a bit of insight!!!

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      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      d, a wonderful total analysis of the ques. of fitting in. I was listening to Terry Gross interview the author who wrote "So We Read On..." exploring the themes of "The Great Gatsby" when the topic came to me. It's all about authenticity, isn't it?

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      deecoleworldposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      thanks!! It is all about authenticity!!!! It hard to be authentic cuss of different factors but we should all strive to be authentic and true to ourselves!!!!!

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   Aniket Lawandposted 9 years ago

   In most of the cases we do not fit in. We end up adjusting a little here and there to get sorted. But then at the end of the day if we are enjoying what we are doing does not matter at all. The concept of fitting in comes in only when we are not enjoying the stuff that is happening around us. Thus if you are not enjoying the group then either something is bothering you and hence the thought.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Aniket,  Insightful! Thank you. I'm posing the ques to explore people's experiences. It sounds as if you're saying that if we feel we don't fit in, we're in the wrong group. I was part of a team once where all of us were in sync. It was wonderful!

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   Penny Gposted 9 years ago

   I guess I never cared if I fit in, nor pay attention. I'm just me, here I am,I'm not for everyone. I walk talk and breath what I believe in . Listen, follow or walk away.  ME

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      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Penny,  Very Great Attitude.  Love the way you put this, especially "I'm not for everyone."  Accepting that about ourselves is really important, I think

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