What would your response be if your adult child informed you that he/she does no

1. 84

   gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

   What would your response be if your adult child informed you that he/she does not intend to have
   
   any children i.e. electing to be childfree?
   
   

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2. 94

   UnnamedHaraldposted 9 years ago

   But what about ME? What about MY dynasty? What about MY plans to be head of a growing family? Who's going to take care of ME in my old age? What about MY need to be king of the family? What about ME?
   
   I'd be perfectly fine with my adult child not having children and I'd be perfectly fine with my adult child having children. My adult child is an adult who I respect as a person and a child. I don't own him and will not use family shackles to bind him to some sort of pathetic fiefdom.
   
   P.S. I dearly love my granddaughter, who I also respect as an adult who makes her own decisions.

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   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Well stated, sir!

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3. 61

   fpherj48posted 9 years ago

   Hello Grace......The decision to have children or not is an individual and personal choice.  My response as their mother would be one of support and understanding, as with the vast majority of their choices.
   Being a parent is simply not for everyone and there is absolutely no reason for a young couple to feel a sense of obligation to bring a child into the world, once they have made a choice they feel is best for them.
   For quite a while I believed my eldest son & his wife would be childless and I respected this without question.  They owed me no explanation and it simply was never an issue for discussion. 
   For years they were focused on their careers and their marriage, with no desire to include a child.
   After several years of establishing their lifestyle as they chose and having very successful careers, they then decided to have an only child, my precious grand daughter.  My son finally became a Dad at age 40, his wife just a couple of years younger and they are perfectly content with this.  As for Grandma, i WAS THRILLED, but certainly would have been happy for them, regardless of their choice.

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      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Beautiful answer indeed.

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4. 92

   lisavollrathposted 9 years ago

   Since I have no children, and never intended to have any, I can't answer the original question. But I do have a story...
   
   My mother once told me I was selfish for not having children, since, as an only child, I was the only person who could give her grandchildren. She said I was depriving her, and my father, of the chance to be grandparents.
   
   My response? That perhaps she should have considered having more children, since putting the burden of bearing her grandchildren on one offspring was unreasonable. And, that since she and my father were still healthy and fit, she could certainly still adopt children, with the hope that they might give her grandchildren.
   
   Seriously. This was a real conversation.

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   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Oh dear, no child should be pressured to have children.  That is egregious in itself.

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5. 59

   Kiss andTalesposted 9 years ago

   I do have young Adults with no children and they are not crying about it, I get a chance to see both sides of the results as a mother and a grandmother, the ones that do not have the freedom to go and come as they please, there is nothing holding them back in education, and most important in my family spiritual education, they have their own little problems in life. But caring for children is not on their list, I have three that are childless
   In their  20 and 30 's  , even though I am proud of all my children time came and gone so fast  when I had my own.
   You are not stuck your whole life raising children, but you are to use your time wisely in the small amount of years raising them to be a wonderful contribution to life for them self and family and the human society.
   
   Reference Bible Ps 127:3 Look! Sons are an inheritance from Jehovah; The fruitage of the belly is a reward.

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6. 91

   goatfuryposted 9 years ago

   I have no biological children, but I teach for a living, so I feel like I have dozens, and perhaps hundreds, of nonbiological children.  I would fully expect the choice to procreate to be in the hands of my son or daughter as well, and would likely applaud their decision not to have children, helping to curb population growth.

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      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      EXCELLENT point made!

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7. 93

   Gloriousconfusionposted 9 years ago

   When my children were young adults, although I would have liked grandchildren, I never asked, suggested or pestered them to have children.  I was quite relaxed about it - if they wanted children, fine, if they didn't want  children, also fine. 
   
   As it transpired, they both had children and I now have five grandchildren, and wonder whether I will ever be a great grandmother, now three of them are in their twenties and showing no  sign of settling down. Even my two stepchildren are not showing any child-producing proclivities - maybe it's just not such an issue nowadays.

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