Why is it so hard to ask for help when you're going through a tough time?

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   snapcracklepopposted 7 years ago

   Why is it so hard to ask for help when you're going through a tough time?
   
   How do you deal with tough times?

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   Setank Setunkposted 7 years ago

   It is human nature to tend to ourselves as much as we can. Sometimes we can be overwhelmed and not realize it. I consider it to be the responsibility of others to reach out to those who are overwhelmed.
   Just last week a co-worker I barely new got news of his father's impending death. He was clearly distraught but was determined to stay. A few minutes later I moved him to an easier job and it was clear that his grief was building. I offered a hug but he declined. When I assured him I was serious he bolted into my arms and we hugged it out. It would not be natural for someone in his position to ask for comfort from a team of relative strangers. It is better for we observers to ignore convention or political correctness, etiquette or risk of embarrassment and givem-a-hug.

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      snapcracklepopposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      What a wonderful thing you did by not only noticing a fellow coworkers distressful countenance, but you actually did something about it to alleviate some of his emotional pain by giving him an easier assignment and by reassuring him with a warm hug!

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   snapcracklepopposted 7 years ago

   SS, I commend you for what you did and the kindness you showed to your dear coworker....It is very true when you said that we tend to try to figure out things on our own, feeling like no one would understand or really cares. And some may feel that they may be a bother or burden to others and would rather not make others feel that way. Still some don't want us knowing their business or they may be embarrassed  confiding with others concerning the tough times that they are going through. Yet, I agree with you and believe that it IS our responsibility to comfort those to the extent possible when we see our fellow man suffering or in distress. You remind me of the beautiful verse in the Bible found at 1st Thessalonians 5:14 which in part says: "......speak consolingly to those who are depressed, support the weak, be patient toward all." Another beautiful verse that reminded me of you from the Bible is found at Philippians 2:4 which says in part: "....as you look out not only for your own interest, but also for the interest of others."
   
   Thank you very much for sharing this bitter/sweet experience concerning your coworker. What a fine example for all of us to imitate....Jesus Christ by the way took note of peoples problems and concerns and he was eager and quick to help them and to relieve them of their problems. You SS went beyond the call of secular duty and reached out to someone in distress by using your authority for good. Thank you again for sharing your coworkers distressful experience and how you went about helping him.

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      Setank Setunkposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Eloquent as usual Jackie; and Thank You.

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   tamarawilhiteposted 7 years ago

   1. Many people let pride get in the way.
   2. If a woman is in desperate situations and asks for help, and social services finds her neglectful (and they too often mistake poverty for neglect/abuse), she risks her custody of her children.
   3. When things get incrementally worse, the situation doesn't seem horrible until seen by an outsider. Hoarding often turns into this.

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      snapcracklepopposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for adding a couple more "faces" to this thread! Very nice answer Tamara. There are so many reasons why some do not reach out for help and you've named a few.

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