Is it selfish to have children or is it selfish not to have children?

1. 60

   dare2bawareposted 12 years ago

   Is it selfish to have children or is it selfish not to have children?
   
   Having 5 children myself, I have often wondered if it selfish to have children or selfish not to have children? 
   
   The views differ greatly and so does peoples perception.

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2. 0

   Hubertsvoiceposted 12 years ago

   My wife and I have one son. I don't think having or not having children has anything to do with selfishness. I do believe that if you are blessed with a child, either through nature or adoption, you should give all the love and guidance you can to help the child to have a good start in life.

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3. 60

   Ruchi Urvashiposted 12 years ago

   Having or not having children does not determine selfishness. Our true intentions behind it make it all count. If you have a child so that he or she can take care of you then you are putting an enormous burden on the child and it might be a bit selfish. However, if you just want to give to the universe what you have received and you help guide a soul establish his or her life. That is true selflessness.

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4. 71

   laidbackladyposted 12 years ago

   My husband and I have 2 children together, and I have 1 son from a previous relationship long ago. I feel as if I was selfish a long time ago, because I really was not ready to be a mother at 18. At that time there was a lovely couple who had tried for a long time to have a child and couldn't. They would have taken him gladly, but I just could not do it, ready or not. That, in hindsight, seems selfish. Of course the 2 children my hubby and I have are well loved and supported by us. That does not feel so selfish.
   
   So, really, it can be seen as selfish either way. I think people should not have children unless they are certain they can take the time to raise them properly and to love them fully. In my opinion, having children just to have them is selfish.

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5. 60

   duffsmomposted 12 years ago

   I think it depends on the reason people have children. If you love children and can give them a happy, stable life and take care of them, then go for it.  We raised two and two was just right for my personality.  Any more and I would not have had the patience to give them all of my time. 
   
   To continue to have children if one can't afford to care for them properly would be selfish in my opinion.

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   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      +10000000000, "parents" of large/very large families are the most selfish people around.  They endlessly pop out children, not caring about the ramifications of their primitive actions on their existing children.   Childfree couples, au contraire, are thinking, realizing that they don't want to be parents.  Childfree couples think about the ramifications of their actions- they PLAN while  "parents" of large/very large families DON'T plan but act on primitive instinct.

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6. 58

   juiwei2000posted 12 years ago

   It really depends on circumstances, there are no definite answer for it.

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7. 80

   dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

   It all depends on how you define the word "selfish". If it means having things the way you want I would call that being "blessed". There are lots of folks who want children but can't have them biologically and refuse to consider adoption. Are they selfish? On the other hand there are people who have kids and wish they hadn't. (Although they would never say it out loud as it's not politically correct). Living life on your terms and getting what you want is the goal for most people. As long as you're happy who cares what others think about the decision you made. Awhile back I wrote a hub on this very subject. Marrige is a life style choice and having children is also a life style choice. Not everyone wants the same thing. Life is a personal journey.
   http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ … ngchildren

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   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      AMEN, Mr. Dashing!

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         gmwilliamsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         Thoughtful, intelligent people make intelligent decisions as to why they want children or to be childfree.  They consider the ramifications of their actions emotionally, mentally, psychologically, psychically, & socioeconomically before embarking on their journey.   
         

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8. 59

   stariswhoiamposted 12 years ago

   having children or not having children
   both aren't selfish
   it's a matter of choice
   it's how a person treats other people that determines what's selfish or not selfish

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