Do you think that it is ok for a friend to sleep with your ex-lover??

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   stacies29posted 14 years ago

   Me and one of my female friends have been friends for over 6 years and I have a male friend that I have dated off and on for 10 years.  We all met up again on Facebook and she sent him a friend request even though she barely knew him.  Now they are communicating behind my back and I am really hurt. Is this normal for me to feel this way?

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      tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Go to the shrink !
      He's not your lover anymore. He's free to date whoever he ewants, as well as your friend !
      what's wrong with you ??
      
      
      
      
      and it's not behing your back
      Is in FB, isn't it ????
      

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         stacies29posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Maybe i was not specific enough, we still do see each other and she knows this.

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            tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            OK
            then it's wrong !!!
            
            Forget her! she's not a good friend.

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               donotfearposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               
               There ya go! Agreed.....

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      donotfearposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      
      I acknowledge your feelings of hurt. Possibly you still have feelings for him. I believe it's normal to have a feeling of resentment. Think of it this way: He's simply saying 'yes' to another part of his life.  If they are corresponding in secrecy deliberately, it would make me feel bad.
      
      I don't think your feelings are abnormal.

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      Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      facebook ruins lives
      
      it is normal to be hurt
      but he is an ex, and you need to let it go somehow.

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      Poppa Bluesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes it's normal since you obviously still have feelings for him. Have you told your friend you have feelings for him? If she doesn't know how you feel, why would she think it's not okay for her to date him?

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2. 59

   Hokeyposted 14 years ago

   He doesn't belong to you. Don't be selfish.

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3. 66

   awareposted 14 years ago

   no

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4. 66

   awareposted 14 years ago

   they can but then their x friends just like  x  mate is

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5. 82

   Rafiniposted 14 years ago

   it depends on the relationships - how close you were to the ex, how close you are to the friend.
   
   now an ex-husband and a sister, I say HELL NO!!  and is the reason I disowned my sister

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      stacies29posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      we are very close. so close that I know his whole family and the only reason we never really made it official is because we were both young.
      Me and the friend are very close to, so close that she has been hiding the fact that she is doing this so evidently she knows somewhere she is wrong.

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6. 71

   stacies29posted 14 years ago

   We still see each other key words off and on.  I think its about respect.

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      tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      yeah ! agree !

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      Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      definitely about respect.  be done with both, I say.  you're better off without friends like that.

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7. 66

   awareposted 14 years ago

   its not about right or wrong its about respect .

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8. 84

   donotfearposted 14 years ago

   Now that I know you still see him, whether it's off & on or not, you definitely have a right to your emotion. He is lacking regard for your feelings and it's not acceptable.
   
   You could either confront him or do nothing. By doing nothing you aren't acknowledging him one way or another. By confronting him with his lack of respect, you are pointing out you don't appreciate it.
   
   He may just be that type person. It's hard, but it has nothing to do with YOU. It's a character flaw in him and her.

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   1. 71

      stacies29posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      thanks u really helped.  I think it is best if I do not say anything and just let them go because he pretty much ignores me now but I see that they are always comunicating like he is trying to get at her or they already have.

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         tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I surely will tell her what I think of her. She deserves to feel ashamed !

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            stacies29posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            i agree but him i think i will just let it go.

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            1. 62

               tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Yes. Leave him out! the one that's truly wrong is her. because she knows what you're feeling about it.
               men sometimes don't want to pay attention to those kind of issues LOL!

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                  donotfearposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  
                  Soooooo right. It's like a total lack of regard for the other's feelings. That sucks.

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                  Poppa Bluesposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Sometimes??? LOL! Most men hate drama!

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      2. 84

         donotfearposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         
         It hurts to be ignored, doesn't it? Knowing he's online, corresponding with someone else and not you. It's a really bad feeling. Feels like 'limbo loss'
         
         "Limbo is like fallen leaves outside the fence: in your yard - not quite; out of your yard, somewhat."
         
         You are a worthy human being and I feel your pain.

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         1. 71

            stacies29posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            thanks 4 all the advice it really helped I have actually deleted both of them just so that I do not have to torture myslef and I am gonna have a long talk with her tonight.  Will update with the outcome.

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