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D20 Colorful NPC's - Billy Buttonshoes

Updated on September 3, 2012
You do not want to hurt Billy Buttonshoes' feelings.
You do not want to hurt Billy Buttonshoes' feelings.

The Notorious Pirate and Rogue

Who is Billy Buttonshoes you ask?

Really? You don't know? Ok. Alright. I'll tell you. For a fee of course. You'll have to sit here and read this for five minutes while the mundane world suspended around your ears just waits on a cliffhanger to collapse around you. No matter. Pay it no mind. Shit happens even when you stare dead at it.

Billy Buttonshoes was a fanciful name given to a fanciful creature. What sort of creature? I'm getting to that.

There was a druid on an island who was forced to the mainland by a tsunami that covered his beloved island forever after. Once upon the mainland he was adopted by a tribe of mountain gorillas with whom he wandered for decades.

Not an unusual tale except for the fact that the druid spent his time using his link with the goddess of nature to bestow sentience upon the gorillas. First it was just one of them but then that one asked for his family to join him in sentience and then after a threat of war it turned to the whole clan, valley, jungle, mountain, get the idea.

Can't really blame the druid. The poor fellow lost everything he had and all of his animal companions and friends in one fell blow. He wanted to belong again and he wanted to prove his loyalty to nature regardless of what it had done to him.

Billy was the first among the young gorilla's to show an interest in dressing. he noticed how the druid covered himself and began to mimic him. The others up to that point had never shown a hint of modesty but Billy simply had to wear clothes from that point on.

Having seen the men from the sea walking through his mountain passes he learned a swashbuckler's flare for dressing that rivaled the saltiest sea dogs humanity had to offer. As he grew he began to learn the ways of mankind rather swiftly. As much as he would have liked to the druid could not control how often the young followed humans and learned from their behavior.

Billy arrived in the forest one day wearing shoes with the laces ripped away. The druid saw his dilemma and manufactured a button and strap that would hold the boots on for him. The gorilla's friends saw his covered feet for the first time and laughed and pointed, calling him "Billy Buttonshoes!"

Billy didn't mind. In fact he adopted the name and set off soon after for the shore where he had witnessed humans docking their many sailed ships. He would never return to that place as his journeys would take him not only across the oceans of his world but eventually into space itself sailing across the solar system in search of mischief and adventure!

The Legend of Billy Buttonshoes

Having strode the stars on sleek vessels unnamed Billy Buttonshoes has been confronted with nearly every foe the universe has to offer.

On the water planet Vobule he is reputed to have won the speed sailing trophy from the Sea Elven prince Vlahash Mithronpor ten years ago. That planet has been hiring hunters and seekers to find him because of rumors he somehow cheated using a foreign device. They seek the return of their trophy and Clan Mithronpor has sworn a blood oath to bring him to justice.

Outside the vast elder planet Kole Billy Buttonshoes is wanted by various nations and their divinities for his theft and recovery missions that have relieved several powerful entities of rather burdensome artifacts. Whenever he is caught no presence of these artifacts is ever found and no prison has ever been able to hold Billy for long.

On Kole's third moon the Spider Lich dwells and that is where Buttonshoes is said to have pulled off one of his greatest capers of all time. There at the heart of the moon was the Spider Lich's phylactery. No mundane vessel the Phylactery was grafted to the impenetrable chest of an enormous Golem forged of adamantine. Legend states that while Billy's crew distracted the Golem he climbed its back with an adamantine sword in hand. He carved his way into the creatures hollow back and popped out the Phylactery from within. Smashing the Phylactery with that same sword he destroyed the Spider lich for seven joyous years.

Although it may not have been considered a joyous thing to those domains in which the goddess Lolth gained a foothold due to the absence of her Elder, more powerful rival. It is said there are those who seek vengeance upon Buttonshoes due to this matter as well. Most seers have suggested he beware any and all elves, no matter their skin color, for the rest of his natural life.

More recently Billy was encountered near the space dock, Orian Nil. There he was confronted by servants of Exiapris, another evil Goddess affected by Lolth's arrival. Barely escaping their clutches he pulled away in his space galleon only to be confronted by an entire wing of what could only be described as Armored Angels.

With glowing haloes, golden wings and flowing braids these warrior women were screaming oaths of vengeance for an artifact Billy had purportedly stolen from their divine master. Unable to find the artifact they had instead come to take him to their deity personally.

Here things get confusing with conflicting reports of the death and narrow escape of Billy Buttonshoes. Though the Angels were seen leaving with the swashbuckling Gorilla in tow it is rumored they never arrived to their destination. Some whisper that another, more powerful force arrived to snatch their prize away in order to enact their own vengeance against Billy Buttonshoes. Others suggest that an evil force arrived and saved Billy from his fate but it required Billy Buttonshoes agree to its term before granting his freedom.

Rumor has it Billy Buttonshoes isn't simply a gorilla in a pirate's clothes, fate has forged from him a new sort of creature. Others say he is nothing more than a thief who looks like an overgrown monkey. Whatever the truth may be he does exist. If you happen to see a gorilla wearing shoes with a single great button holding them on over his toes, chances are that's him. That's Billy Buttonshoes!

Better check your pockets.

D20 Stats for Billy Buttonshoes

Billy could also be given the Half fiend Template if you wanted to make him even more deadly but in truth Billy Buttonshoes is not meant to be an implacable foe. More like a lovable rogue. A returning foil to the heroes' plans. Even better a staunch ally or enemy to your character party who is actually evil. Billy likes nothing more than to steal from undeserving black hearted dastards.

Remember, no prison can hold Billy for long. If he can't escape on his own he is never short of friends and crewmen who will make every effort to save his skin once again! In fact Billy Buttonshoes has far more friends and allies than he does enemies, but that can also be attributed to the fact that if pushed far enough he actually will kill his enemies.

Billy Buttonshoes, Male Animal, Ape Animal4/Rog4/SwBklr20/DrdPrt8/Ftr4: CR 40; Large Magical Beast (Augmented,Extraplanar); HD 4d8+28(Animal) , 4d6+28(Rogue) , 20d10+140(Swashbuckler) , 8d8+56(Dread Pirate) , 4d10+28(Fighter) ; hp 513;

Init +15; Spd 30, Climb 30; AC:41 (Flatfooted:41 Touch:22); Atk +35/30/25/20 base melee, +35/30/25/20 base ranged; +35/+30/25 (1d6+7, 2 Claw; 1d6+3, Bite); +39/34/29/24/+38/33 (1d8+14 15-20x2, +5 Saber, fencing; 1d8+9 15-20x2, +4 Iron, Cold Saber, fencing); +41/36/31/26 (1d8+14, +5 Saber, fencing);

SA: Smite Evil (Su) ; SQ: Scent (Ex), Low-light Vision (Ex), Resistance: Acid (Ex): 10, Darkvision (Ex): 60 ft., Resistance: Cold (Ex): 10, Spell Resistance (Ex): 40 + 5, Damage Reduction (Su): 10/Magic, Resistance: Electricity (Ex): 10; AL N;

SV Fort +31, Ref +33, Will +20;

STR 24, DEX 24, CON 24, INT 13, WIS 16, CHA 19.

Skills: Balance +19, Bluff +27, Climb +20, Craft (Weaving) +20, Diplomacy +22, Escape Artist +20, Gather Information +19, Hide +13, Intimidate +19, Jump +20, Listen +12, Profession (Cook) +8, Profession (Hunter) +10, Profession (Sailor) +14, Search +8, Sense Motive +15, Sleight of Hand +24, Spot +12, Swim +13, Tumble +20, Use Rope +20.

Feats: Armor Proficiency: heavy, Armor Proficiency: light, Armor Proficiency: medium, Blind-Fight, Cleave, Combat Insight, Dual Strike, Epic Reputation, Epic Toughness, Faster Healing, Greater Two-Weapon Fighting, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical: Saber, fencing, Improved Initiative, Improved Two-Weapon Fighting, Perfect Two-Weapon Fighting, Power Attack, Shield Proficiency, Simple Weapon Proficiency, Tower Shield Proficiency, Track, Two-Weapon Fighting, Weapon Finesse, Weapon Focus: Saber, fencing, Weapon Specialization: Saber, fencing.
Weapons: +5 Saber, fencing: Fighter Class Bane (98,340 gp); +4 Iron, Cold Saber, fencing: Ghost Touch (52,360 gp).
Goods: Coin: gp (1062) (1,062 gp).
Magic: Wondrous: Amulet of epic natural armor (+7) (980,000 gp); Wondrous: Bracers of epic armor (+12) (NaN gp); Wondrous: Cloak of Charisma +6 (36,000 gp); Wondrous: Gloves of Arrow Snaring (4,000 gp); Wondrous: Hat of Anonymity (34,050 gp); Wondrous: Ioun Stone, Dark Blue [Rhomboid] (10,000 gp); Wondrous: Ioun Stone, Clear [Spindle] (4,000 gp); Wondrous: Ioun Stone, Iridescent [Spindle] (18,000 gp); Ring: Epic Protection +6 (720,000 gp); Ring: Feather Falling (2,200 gp)


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