Final Fantasy 3 Nintendo DS Walkthrough Part 2
Part 1: Unemployment
Previously on Lost:
"We have to get off the island!"
"I believe this is all happening for a reason."
"finders keepers brah."
When we last left our heroes, a Moogle or "Batcat" was telling us to get a job, so that's what we're gonna do!
The Job Hunt
I made Saya a Warrior because he already had a sword, I was going to make him a Freelancer, but that hits too close to home. I made J3rry a Black Mage because why the hell not, everyone loves magic and if worst comes to worst, he can perform at birthday parties. I made Bebe a Red Mage or "Cowboy" because I like the hat. I don't know what a Red Mage does I just spam the attack button anyway. So now that we all have cool clothes and jobs, it's time to do whatever it is we're supposed to do in this game. Oh I also made tiny a Warrior because I'm lazy and who cares my whole party is level 99, we could've all been garbage men or cafeteria workers and the game would be just as easy. Seriously though, can we talk about how great the Red Mage's hat is? Also if anyone knows what a Red Mage is and what it does, please tell me because I'm not going to Google it.
So after all of that nonsense, we find ourselves in Maridia on the planet Zebes, and wouldn't you know it, now that everyone is visible again we can see that the Skytanic's owner is that Sid guy from all of the other Final Fantasy games, but he already told us that so why are you surprised? So he tells us some things that I just DID NOT care about and Bebe's dad is mad at her for some reason? He's probably just jealous of her hat, I know I would be too. So after a whole bunch of words Bebe's sweet hat joins the party again, I think that you have to do something in between all of this, but hey it's been like two days since I've played this game, give me a break. So now we can jump on our Cloudbarge and take Sid back home to Mrs.Claus. There's a big rock in the way back to Sid's hometown so you should take care of that somehow. After taking care of that somehow, the Airship (what a dumb name) breaks,so that's a bummer. Now you have to walk with Sid the two steps to his town, what a nightmare.
So now Sid tells you some stuff about getting a new Boatjet and as usual, who the hell cares. So leave this town and go to the twisty mountain to the right I guess, I mean, what else is there to do?
Will Your Parents Be Proud?
Parte 2: The Long Part
Alright, who built the path on this mountain? It winds left and right, and left and right again when clearly they could've just built an escalator. There are some sting rays on this mountain, but the game says that they're Fire flies, don't believe what the game says, they're sting rays. After a few days of scaling this treacherous mountain I decided to make base camp at 20,000 feet (400 meters) and try for the summit in the morning.
When I awoke I was in this big nest with some blue haired dude, he said some words and I didn't listen, as always, so I just left. This mountain looked a lot bigger on the world map, I don't even remember what we were supposed to be doing anymore. Now I'm getting jumped by this sky lizard, or "Dragon" if you will. I was pretty sure I could take him, I mean I don't know if you've heard, but I'm level 99 and I have a job now so, I was pretty confident that this dragon was gonna "get rekt" as the kids like to say these days. Nope.
Captain's Log: First Hour
So apparently this thing is made of steel or some sort of very strong material, like double steel. It's almost as though the game doesn't want me to kill this dragon, but I'm going to, they don't call me "level 99" for nothing. Every attack does 1 damage, so I'm off to a good start. And with four party members with 8000+ HP, I'm prepared for a long battle, and this Dragon (which isn't even his real name) doesn't know about our A button mashing skills, but even that can't save us now. At this point I've stopped paying attention to the game and I'm updating my Myspace status and posting bulletins to try to get some help with the matter, but my one remaining Myspace friend was of no help, thanks a lot, Tom.
Captain's Log: Second Hour
So after an eternity searching for new friends on Myspace, I only found a bunch of indie musicians that wanted me to listen their new EPs, so naturally I deleted my Myspace and went back to game. Turns out, according to this Bahamut's Myspace profile, he's not a Dragon at all, but a Bahamut, some sort of Caribbean monster from the Bahamas. Never have I felt so deceived by a game in my life. The battle is now in a frenzy, I'm pressing the A button as fast as I can, he's hitting me and doing no damage, truly this is a Final Fantasy. I cannot describe to you the fury and grandeur of this clash of titans, my palms were sweaty and I went into convulsions as the Bahamut's mighty wings filled the sky and my steel clashed on its hardened scales. The world may never see the A button pressed as many times as this.
Captain's Log: All of this actually took like ten minutes
When my vision returned and I found myself face to face once again with this beast, that looked nothing like its Myspace Profile picture. That's when I realized "oh I can just run away, duh" but the homeless man sitting next to me wasn't listening. So I ran away and story happened, whatever. Now Baha Men was taking me and blue haired buy to parts unknown, so now we're even more lost and I still don't know what to do. So Blue Man Group -2 (from now on known as Tobias) tells us a lot more about world and at this point I'm just running circles on the map and then I got a spell called tiny that makes us tiny, genius. Naturally, our party member Tiny was upset at this, because his name was no longer ironic, but hey what are you gonna do. So I found a tiny town with tiny people and they were so small that I couldn't hear what they were saying. Still hopelessly lost I fondly remembered the Baha Men and wondered what they were up to, when was "Who let the dogs out 2" coming out? so many questions. Jamaican Jerk Chicken is really good.
After fondly reminiscing about 2002 and the Baha Men, we found ourselves at a cave, I think, man I don't remember this part I was really lost the whole time. So now that we're tiny and no one can see Bebe's sweet hat, we can get through and go other places, for some reason. This game has a severe case of ADHD, I was supposed to bring Santa Claus some cough syrup for his wife or something, and now we're tiny inside of a cave, this game is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Also, Tobias likes to cut ahead in battle just like girl Frodo. Why does everyone in this game think they're so important? Are YOU level 99? No? I didn't think so.
Join us next time when we figure what's in the cave! What are we doing here? Where can I get some good Jerk Chicken?
Next time we'll find a group of space vikings who found The Enterprise somehow.
All this and more on the next episode of Dragon ball Z!
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