I'm calling you out...
Outside that is!
Now I know the world can be a scary place…especially if all you know are video games…but it can also be a lot of fun too. I just have a few things to go over with you before you step outside the front door.
The graphics are going to be better than anything you’ve ever seen…so try not to freak out. The bright glowing orb in the sky is not a power button, so please don't try to turn it off…your eyes will adjust in a minute or so. I must also warn you that more often than not, the gameplay and storyline are going to suck…but that is not a reason to go running back inside.
When it comes to communicating with others…out here people's names don't appear over their heads, you must talk to them to find out what their “gamertag” is. Please remember… if you want to speak to someone out here in the real world you have to make eye contact with them and speak without using internet slang (and a mic)…and it’s a good idea to physically laugh when someone says something funny instead of just saying “LOL”…that’s just strange.
If someone says something nice to you and/or does something nice for you there is no “like” button to show them you appreciate it and/or agree…you must actually tell them. There is also no message box that pops up to let you know when your friends (and I use that term loosely) are outside…here you have to do a little leg work if you want to find out that information.
I can guarantee you won't find anyone named KillerDeathSlayer27 out here either, so don’t sweat it if your name is just Bob…that’s alright. Also, the mailman is not an enemy soldier; don't try to knife him…that would be very bad.
Don’t try to stomp on people’s heads that you don’t get along with…they don’t like that…and they’ll probably end up beating you down. So you know…if you happen to go to prison…you won’t find a princess there...that is unless that is what Bubba calls you while you're holding onto his belt loop...so stay out of trouble.
There are no giant floating coins for you to collect either…you must get a job if you want to buy things…like groceries and clothes…not potions and swords…I know it sucks but we all have to do it.
Finally, stay out of the road…if you get hit there is no respawn…it’s game over…like for real…no more lives.