ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Jeff's Sloop

Updated on February 13, 2016

Jeff's Sloop

I spend the mild, rainy Winter’s night aboard Jeff’s Sloop.

I help Jeff row the black waters in the canoe to get to the Sloop, cocking my right arm at 90 degrees. I crack powerful strokes that utilize the bulk of my 225 pounds— the core element of my weight that obviates any deficiencies of excess flab. It is awe-inspiring to watch our efforts traverse the waterways without undue expenditure.

More than occasional seal spottings make me realize that everything in the vicinity is an appropriate sanctuary for our collective peace of mind. Head bobbings that part the currents seem to affirm our collaborative effort of alignment with the sea mammals—as long as we don’t push them off their slouching perches atop the dock to take their moon-bathing places. Splashing seals propelled into cannonballing is not a wise displacement to the sedimentary beasts, nor a particularly easy undertaking. No, dislodging them is not an option without several months of weight training and scratch-resistant, protective wear. Besides, why?

The Sloop is anchored alone, an eighth of a mile or so off the Sausalito shore. If necessary (and if I can brave the freezing temperatures), my practically pregnant stomach can probably stay afloat long enough to make it back to shore freestyle, with the help of my slapping arms and flailing calves. Jeff has the perfect setup for a once and future romantic rendezvous with a mermaid. (None present this night.) Two train-linked, bedroom corridors below the deck and above the waters gather once, future and now buoyant voyagers all around the insulated love palace. Peripherally-lit San Francisco skyscrapers and glimmers of the Bay Bridge contrast with eight, vertical levels of Sausalito blocks embedded into an embracing hillside. I wear a life jacket until boarding the Sloop, but that impermanence is the finality of my safety precaution.

The sporadic, night-time rain leaks into minor crevices onto the slightly dewey bunker. Even though the interior cabin shields us from downpours outside, there is no fire extinguisher onboard and my cell phone’s juice is spent. I am going nowhere, as usual!

What happens if for some reason there is a fire/or multiple leaks, the ship begins sinking, and we must get the hell out of there so that we both do not burn and drown at the same time?! They say a captain always goes down with his ship, but does he/she have ultimate choice regarding the extent and finite nature of the plunging? (Please read Jacque D’Artichoke’s memorable essay called “The Sea” that contrasts his notions of an onboard writer with Jack London’s infamous captain in D’Artichoke’s book of 87 essays, Sporty Reflections of a Court Recidivist.)

Will the unspectacular canoe serve as an implausible escape hatch en desperation’s route? Will there be a mad, double plummeting upon the unassuming, tiny craft, capsizing it and rendering the two of us upside down, heading downwards hurriedly in the chilling bay, paddles and all?!

Before embarking on the canoe to arrive almost penniless on the bay’s largess of freedom, we fill up canisters of water for the overnight. I have the foresight to bring my useless medicine in my computer case, where my laptop is luckily 60% charged without need for WiFi. However, I don’t bring a toothbrush because I have no way of envisioning that I might be voyaging this evening. (How many of us usually do?) Against my better judgment, I bite the saliva bullet and use one of Jeff’s spares.

Being Shabbos, Jeff reads the week’s parsha. It is more memorable singing shabbat shalom on the deck in jubilee while gazing at the multi-block high, enclave of Sausalito that is on the safe side of the Pacific Ocean’s storms. (The unforgiving and hardly forgiven wraths of liquid ranging from unassailable waves {a surfer’s bummer} to untetherable tsunamis ravage the western side of Sausalito’s land mass. They oft are alluded within the sea volumes at Corte Madera’s THE Book Passage.)

On the eastern edge’s inlet, more seals bob their heads up and down as they speed past oblivious humans whom might otherwise salivate for mammal flank if they are hungry enough to chew on the blubbery and mammoth, marine marvels. And if the folks find the wherewithal to snag the quickly exiting bobbers...

Four times, I go out on the deck because nature calls during the night. It is a good excuse to enjoy the wildnerness’ serenity afterwards. I piss a swooshing arc off the side of the Sloop. The bubbles from my steamy urination simulate a small scale, warming of the seas, reminiscent of global abandon.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)